Risky fantasies: Rape
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What are the ethical concerns when discussing rape fantasies on a public podcast?
Literature on perversion or so-called sexual deviance has often othered people who were interested in this stuff and spoken about it as a sort of medical or psychological condition. And I wrote a book that uh proposed, in fact, every single one of us has some involvement in these things. And I think that it's a misnomer to pretend, oh, that's what the pervert down the road does, as opposed to me who has a squeaky, clean sexual fantasy. life. I don't think that's actually true for anyone.
For anyone. Yeah.
The hookup
Love and
Honey Eye
on Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Themes. Hey Sarah McVee with you and I have to warn you, this podcast discusses rape, the real thing, and also people's fantasies about it. If you want to talk to someone at any point about any issues that are raised for you during this podcast, you can call 1-800-Respect. Punch this number into your phone right now, 1-800-737-732. In this episode, you'll hear from Dominatrix Mistress Tokyo about navigating consent when you're acting out your fantasies. Dr. Lauren Roseworn on her book Part-Time Perverts, she reckons we're all perverts in one way or another. And you'll hear from sex therapist Tanya Cohen's. She tells you how often her clients bring up rape fantasies and what to do if the fantasies you're having are upsetting.
or distressing you in any way. First though, one anonymous listener who we'll call Beck opens up about what it's like to fantasize about rape.
I'd have to say a few years ago I watched a um a movie where there was quite a brutal rape scene. In the movie. Um, uh, I'd never seen anything like it. Um, it was very realistic, and um, I really got off on it. Um, and I found myself. Yeah. uh continuously going back to that scene at different stages. Um And uh it developed into quite a lot of uh fantasies around being in that situation myself.
What was it like to first be turned on by such a brutal scene.
how strongly intriguing it was for me. uh the realisation that Brutality excited me. was um sort of you know, it was a moment where I sort of looked at myself But There was no negative thoughts, you know. I I I didn't feel ashamed, I didn't I was more focused on the excitement involved.
Had you had a kind of history of being turned on by things that were violent before? Um, I've
I've always really been into very violent movies. Um, watching movies where uh the scenes are really brutal has always intrigued me. Uh I just never seen anything like that that one particular scene where the um Where the actress got um so brutally raped. I mean I've never seen anything like that after, you know, it's it's definitely something that's always stood out for me. But um uh for me watching movies um my favorite always the most brutal.
Why do you think that is?
Um I don't know. I I have a strong interest in watching people being tortured. Um I don't know why.
Can you try to describe to me what it feels like to be turned on by the fantasy of someone raping you?
That loss of control, being the one that is being raped, and then also that taking advantage of someone that's that's lost control. You know, uh I have um strong feelings about Uh being intoxicated and being intoxicated to that point where you can be really vulnerable to other people. You know, I've never actually sat down and tried to analyse any of this.
Please feel free not to answer this if you don't want to, but have you ever been sexually assaulted?
I've been in situations where I uh Could have been. And I somehow got myself out of those situations. I've been through as a child uh sexual experiences where as an adult I um see it as hav having gone through sexual abuse. I do have family members that's been raped. Um One's very, very close to me. Um, you know, I I grew up in a country where being raped was something to be expected. At some point in your life. Um and I don't know if all these facts add up to why it excites me. I I have no idea.
When you first felt turned on by rape fantasies, you said that y that didn't bring any shame. Did you find it hard to bring it up with partners?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the ethical concerns when discussing rape fantasies on a public podcast?
0:00–6:57
2
How does the anonymous listener Beck describe the origin of her rape fantasy?
6:57–14:05
3
What does sex therapist Tanya Cohen say about normalising rape fantasies without acting on them?
14:05–17:21
4
How can consensual non‑consent be safely negotiated between partners?
17:21–21:23
5
What advice does Mistress Tokyo give for setting boundaries in extreme BDSM scenes?
21:23–24:45
6
How does Dr. Lauren Roseworn explain the prevalence of taboo fantasies in her research?
24:45–28:47
7
Why do some listeners, like the gay caller, find risk and pregnancy arousal in taboo fantasies?
28:47–29:05
8
What resources are offered for listeners who feel distressed after hearing this episode?
29:05–29:13