What is gender?
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What is gender and how does the spectrum concept challenge binary views?
My family is awesome. I say this is who I am and this is my name and this is my intention. But honestly, my father in particular is way more concerned about my superannuation than my gender.
The Hookup with Hannah Riley.
Love and
f***ing.
On Triple J. Warning, sex and adult themes. What makes up your gender? Is it the clothes that you wear, the way that you talk, whether you cried at the end of Marley and Me? When we're born and grow up, most of us are pretty quickly put into one of two categories, boy or girl. But what if much more than what we've been taught? Gender is actually a spectrum. And it's important to say that gender definitions mean different things to different people. But the reason that we're talking about it is because gender identity has a real impact on people's daily lives. I am joined by Ted Cook. He's a trans man and co-founder of PashTM, who addresses the sexual health needs of trans men. Ted, welcome to The Hookup.
Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. The trans experience is often categorized as, you know, someone being trapped in their own body or feeling that they're trapped in the wrong body. How is this experience different for you?
Look, I think that's a trans sort of trope that we hear a lot about being stuck in the wrong body or trapped in the wrong body and for lots of people. They absolutely identify with that and I wouldn't want to say that that is not the experience, broadly speaking. For me, I don't know if I ever really felt like I was trapped in the wrong body necessarily. I felt that the body that I had and the expectations that were placed on how I was assigned at birth didn't fit. I have an identical twin sister and she's very much a woman.
In what ways?
She identifies as a woman, first of
all.
And that's probably all there is really to it. That's how she sees herself in the world. And when we were growing up, she really, I suppose, expressed her gender in quite a feminine way. So it was a real mirror for me about how much I didn't step into that. Yeah, you
didn't connect with that at all.
No.
So you're assigned the female sex at birth, but kind of felt uncomfortable with that. How do you begin to express that feeling of discomfort?
Yeah. When I was growing up, I didn't really have any language at all about what it meant to be trans or to have an experience that was different to what I was assigned at birth and what perhaps was expected. So that for me manifested in a time where I had no knowledge at all that
How did Ted Cook’s early life and lack of language shape his trans experience?
It was possible to have a trans experience or possible to have another kind of life. It was around feeling really unhappy, really uncomfortable, not liking or connecting to my body at all.
And, you know, I don't mean to ask to give away your age, but what years are we talking
here? Well, I'm 37 now. So I didn't even have the internet really when I was growing up. So I didn't even know that trans people existed.
Yeah.
you know, it seems to be a huge thing to be able to see your story reflected somewhere else. And if you, if you have no, no bearings, did you feel quite isolated?
I did go to this all girls Catholic high school in, in Parramatta. So I felt isolated. Maybe, yeah. You know, I sort of was this lesbian looking person and I sort of explored that part of myself for a long time. But it was very lonely, weird, uncomfortable sort of space to be in. And my mental health as a result of that was really affected. I didn't have any sense that whatever I was experiencing was actually really normal and fine and to be celebrated or just a regular part of the human experience. It was a bit of a nightmare. I'm very, very pleased for... people who are a little bit younger today who have access to more resources and more conversation in the internet and who are able to kind of see themselves perhaps a little bit more.
When you did get a little bit of visibility to what was going on, in your late 20s you met a trans man for the first time. Could you tell me about that?
Well, yeah, I realised that I was living with one, which was mind-blowing and awesome.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is gender and how does the spectrum concept challenge binary views?
0:00–2:58
2
How did Ted Cook’s early life and lack of language shape his trans experience?
2:58–5:46
3
What impact did discovering another trans person have on Ted’s understanding of his identity?
5:46–7:59
4
Why are pronouns so important for validating trans people and how can we use them correctly?
7:59–10:24
5
Is gender identity fixed or can it change over a person’s lifetime?
10:24–12:48
6
What does scientific research reveal about brain differences in trans men and women?
12:48–15:19
7
How do families typically react to a trans transition and what support helps them?
15:19–17:42
8
Is gender an inherent trait or a social construct, according to experts on the show?
17:42–19:59