Your brain on love
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Why does falling in love feel like losing control of your body?
Obviously like the the act of falling in love feels really simple at the time because you don't actually know that it's happening or you can feel that it's happening but it's it y it it's out of your control.
The hookup. Love and
honey.
On Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Thames.
You know the feeling. Your palms are sweating. Can't eat. Can't sleep. You've either got a really bad case of food poisoning, or you're in love. How does science explain it? Is it something that you're wired to do or is it more complicated than that? And is attraction just a bunch of chemical compounds? Musician Caitlin Park says love is her reason for being, and Trisha Stratford is a neuropsychotherapist who studies the brain in love. It looks like the
brain of someone addicted to heroin.
Right, right. That's why all those good songs come out of both. So uh what are the d who are the test subjects that you're, you know, looking at these brains of?
Well research tells us that when we meet somebody, we are wired for love. No question. You meet somebody and I think that's got something to do with thirty six questions. Self disclosure.
Mm.
Makes us vulnerable. And very quickly when we meet someone that we're attracted to and if you're asking them deeper meaningful questions you're very quickly going to become attracted to them. But
I just I just want to go back to that thing that you said
we're wired for love. Why? Why is that? It's a primordial need. It's about meeting mating, procreating. Do
you agree with that, Caitlyn? Kind of, yeah. Um
How does neuroscience explain the chemical cocktail that triggers attraction?
Uh Hannah and I were at a party recently and had a conversation about this. But um yeah, I'm the kind of person that do think that um human beings exist for love and maybe that's a really romanticized um idea of the world. But yeah, there's just something about I mean, you know, when it comes to work and when it comes to what you do in your life, I don't think it really matters if you don't have some kind of love somewhere there. Um and so that's yeah, that's why I think that It's
But that I think that's a romantic take on it, but I think there's also the very, you know, I don't want to say cynical, but more scientific um approach to it is that, you know, love is for procreation and love is so, you know, we're able to survive in groups and take care of one another rather than just be roaming alone. Mm. I don't really know where I stand yet. I haven't really taken in both sides of the argument yet. So do you think that love can fully be explained by science or is this other m element that we'll never be able to really get our hands?
Um Look, part of it can be explained by science. I just want to say something here though about romantic love. It's only fairly new in our evolution. It's true. Which is Victorian times that that it started to change and we could choose our partner. But what happens when we meet someone? From the science of love there are three stages. So when we meet someone and we're attracted to them This neuro cocktail of neurochemicals is released and basically it's beyond our control. So if you are at a party And you look at somebody that you're attracted to and they return your gaze that cocktail is just released and your brain's on bliss and other parts of you are on bliss. But all you want to do is be with that person.
And that first phase of love is that we produce a neurochemical called P P E A. And it is it's a kind of an adrenaline type neurotransmitter and it it makes us crazy. We have these wild, crazy behaviours. So we we're obsessed with the other person, we have late night telephone conversations, uh the sex is great, we're spontaneous, if they go to the gym, we go to the gym. All that happens in the f in in the beginning and then the next stage of love is when we we get more into the bonding phase. And and then the third stage and different neurochemicals are released then oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, all those kind of things, vasopressin for men, and it's important because that's what keeps us together.
The hookup with Hannah Reilly on Triple J
Trisha, you've actually brought a brain into the studio.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does falling in love feel like losing control of your body?
0:02–1:56
2
How does neuroscience explain the chemical cocktail that triggers attraction?
1:56–4:40
3
What are the three neurochemical stages of love and how do they differ?
4:40–6:47
4
Why does the brain of a person in love resemble a heroin addict’s brain?
6:47–8:55
5
Can we train our brains to fall in love with anyone?
8:55–11:48
6
How do pheromones and smell influence attraction and long‑term bonding?
11:48–13:25
7
What happens after the first two years of a relationship – is love really over?
13:25–16:21
8
How do artists like Caitlin Park turn the science of love into music?
16:21–18:53