Chris Voss: FBI-Backed Tactics for Better Communication
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Who is Chris Voss and what makes him a negotiation expert?
Well, I brought you somebody that is the master of all negotiations, Chris Voss. You know him, you love him, former FBI negotiator, author of Never Split the Difference, an international bestseller and CEO of the Black Swan Foundation. network, a group. So focus is to improve your negotiation skills, no matter where you're at in life. Chris, my friend, good to see you again. Yeah, Jefferson, absolute pleasure. I always enjoy talking with you. Yeah, it's so cool to be able to talk. You're such a hero of mine. I know I've told you this. We've been able to have a friendship outside of this right here. And it's just been a huge role model to me. So I want to make sure I have it on the record. I've always loved your stuff.
And tactical empathy is right in line with my mission in the world. So thanks for putting this out here for us. Yeah, man, it's my pleasure.
I think our thoughts overlap in our approach to life collaborative. I love your book. And so, yeah, it's a pleasure talking with you. Thanks, man.
I have a quote that I pulled from your book. Now, anybody listening right now, if you if you don't have never split the difference, you're missing out on something that I'm going to tell you is going to immediately make you a better communicator. especially when it comes to positions of negotiation. And that doesn't mean just in the workplace, also means at home too, and it's this right here. For those people who negotiate, who view negotiation as a battle of arguments, it's the voices in their own head that are overwhelming them. I love it because I think there's so much truth to that, that people get so caught up in that anxiety because it's not what you're saying. It's the voices in their own head of what they're telling themselves.
How do voices in our head affect negotiation?
I want you to expand on that some more because I love this quote.
Yeah, well, you know, it's sorting out which voice in your head you're going to listen to also. And most of the time, the voices in your head are your amygdala, your fear centers. They're kicking into gear on you, and they're just not your friend. They're just not. You know, a friend of mine, Sean Stevenson, was a great guy, died tragically five-ish years ago. And I just started to get to know Sean and collaborate with him. And I knew right away that we were on the same sheet of music because he just flat out said to us, like, our biggest enemies are amygdala. A fierce center in our brain. It just... was necessary to keep us alive when we were actually being chased by saber-toothed tigers and being, you know, chased down outside the cave away from the campfire by all sorts of creatures that wanted to eat us on a regular basis. But just not our friend these days. And the voice in your head can just make you do stupid things and make you paranoid and overreact and it...
And what voice should you listen to? Like the intuition, if you can sort your fear centers from your intuition. And I even sometimes say to myself, like, what is my gut telling me? Because I get problems over covering my amygdala too.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Who is Chris Voss and what makes him a negotiation expert?
1:00–2:47
2
How do voices in our head affect negotiation?
2:47–4:54
3
Why is getting a 'no' crucial in conversations?
4:54–8:50
4
What is the importance of flipping questions to get a 'no'?
8:50–15:30
5
How can you use tactical empathy in negotiations?
15:30–21:06
6
What is an accusation audit and how can it improve communication?
21:06–40:42