Mel Robbins: How to Handle Difficult People with the Let Them Theory
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right now y'all a lot of exciting things going on there wonderful things and i'm really excited about it you can find all the links down there in the show notes and i hope you enjoy this episode have you ever found yourself struggling to let go whether it's what somebody thinks about you how they treat you or what they say to you or maybe it's the choices and actions in their own life Well, today I've brought you somebody who needs no introduction. She is a mother of three amazing humans, a wife to a husband, Chris, for almost 30 years, and an attorney whose experience is in criminal defense up in New York City.
the one the only mel robbins mel thank you so much for hopping on today jefferson has anyone ever told you you're a great communicator as you're sitting there going have you ever tried to like i'm like oh this is going to be good i wonder who he's having on this would be great yeah no seriously i'm eager to listen yeah me too
Really excited about it. Mel, as you know, and we've had the chance to establish a great friendship, which I'm so grateful for, is that the people that are listening right now care very much about how they communicate. And the question I first want to ask you is, how important is self-communication? What does Mel Robbins mean? say to herself, how does Mel Robbins talk to herself?
That's a fantastic question. No, I'm serious. Because how you talk to yourself matters. And I'm 56 years old right now. And how I spoke to myself, my self-talk, was very different for the first 52 years of my life from how it is now. And I heard somebody, there's an incredible woman who I'm sure you know, and if as you're listening to us, you don't recognize this name, that's okay, I'm gonna tell you what she shared with me. Her name is Dr. Julie Smith. And she said recently to me, she said, now Mel, I want you to imagine, the experience of what it would be like to be locked in a room with your childhood bully for a year. Like, how would that feel? And I was like, awful. I mean, and if you just imagine the person that kind of picked on you or that you were kind of afraid of or the kind of mean person that you avoided in your school, imagine being locked in a room with them for a year. It would be horrible. And then she said, well, great.
Now imagine what it would be like to be locked in that room instead with your best friend. And that obviously would be better because you'd have a companion. You'd have somebody that you could have fun with. You'd have somebody that would cheer you up and make you feel hopeful even though you're stuck in this room together to play games with, to see the brighter side of things, to make you laugh. And I love that visual because that is your self-communication. The person that you're locked in a room with is a visual example of how you talk to yourself. And as I explain that metaphor for you, and as you visualize it for yourself, just the experience of what it would be like to be locked in a room with a bully versus locked in a room with a best friend, you could viscerally feel what that would be like. And I think what I didn't realize for a long time is just how loud and critical my self-talk and self-communication was.
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