The Lawyer’s Method to Shut Down Narcissism
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What strategies does a trial attorney use to disarm manipulative behavior?
As a trial attorney, I have to disarm manipulative people. And in this episode, I'm going to share with you the number one strategy that works every single time. Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything. If you enjoy learning tips to improve your communication, I'm going to ask you to please subscribe wherever you are listening. Wherever you see it, click subscribe, a like, a heart, whatever. It really helps me, helps my family, and it helps me continue this mission to improve everybody's communication.
What is the number one strategy for handling narcissism in conversations?
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That's CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson to get 40% off. Understand that when you're in a courtroom, the dynamics are very different. Everything is pressured. It's like a vacuum. You have a judge that's right in front of you. You have a bailiff, a court reporter. You have a jury. You have opposing counsel. You have the other party. You have your client. There's people in the back watching you. Everything is pressured in that moment. And when witnesses are on the stand, it's like a switch gets flipped. Like they almost forget that there are people watching and that the words really matter. almost like they're in a corner where they don't want to say the truth without making it a fight.
Like they just don't want to. They could give you the truth, but they don't want to because they would rather try to manipulate the system. Have you ever watched a trial on TV? Like a real trial. I'm not talking about one on the movies or anything. I'm talking a real trial. And you might think, yeah, they're kind of boring. Or maybe you've been on a jury and you thought, oh, this is kind of cool. In real life, the witnesses know that if they tell the truth, there is a major consequence either way. If they tell the truth, there's a consequence. If they don't tell the truth, they may or may not get out of it. Like they don't even, for some reason, it blows my mind. So many people that I've caught lying on the stand.
It's not even in the deposition where you're not in the courtroom, but actually in the courtroom, it's just a lie. It's just a lie. And once they do, they think they're going to get away with it. And it doesn't happen. It backfires. And it could only take one case, one lie that ruins an entire matter for somebody, ruins the entire case for someone. So how do you disarm the manipulator? Here's some things I want you to keep in mind. Number one, manipulators need momentum. Disclaimer, everybody manipulates. Whether you know that you're doing it on purpose, intentionally, not intentionally, everybody has been that person. I'm not saying it's become their whole identity and you can put a label over that person as they are the manipulator.
Hi, nice to meet you. Yes, there are some people like that, but for the vast majority, it It is a word that indicates a change in somebody's behavior to try and get somebody to do something different, to control their perception, to control the facade in some way. And I guarantee you, because I've done it, right? I've been the manipulator. You've been the manipulator. Everybody has to some extent. That's like saying nobody lies. Everybody lies, right? Manipulation is not itself manipulation. the root cause it is a symptom of something much deeper all right all right so box over number one manipulators need momentum the more they can get you in rhythm the more they can find that grasp of control then they kind of get their claws into you when i am deposing a witness across examining if i keep up with their momentum
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What strategies does a trial attorney use to disarm manipulative behavior?
0:00–0:34
2
What is the number one strategy for handling narcissism in conversations?
0:34–5:12
3
How does courtroom pressure affect witness behavior?
5:12–12:18
4
Why is it important to slow down conversations with manipulators?
12:18–14:50