Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day from the special and then I just fucking fell off.
I had a margarita at dinner once and I was like, all right, I'm back.
Yeah, that'll do it. It's just that one. You think I'll always have one.
It was nice. It's just, I was drinking too much because, you know, owning a club there all the time, you know, how much, everyone's like, you want a shot? You want a drink?
Yeah, I can imagine. When I'm at your club, I get blackout drunk every time. Like an actual problem. Like I walk down the stairs and I'm like, what the fuck just happened? I drink so much at the mothership. All of a sudden, in general, are we on? Are we? Yeah. Yeah, the problem is Shane. Oh, yeah. He's an animal. I don't know how he does it. I did the Bridgestone Arena with him on Friday night.
I mean, first of all, just insane.
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Chapter 2: How does alcohol consumption affect comedians' performances?
Like 20,000 people.
Right.
I mean, fucking. It's nuts. Saturday night I did 95 people at the Dojo of Comedy. Is that the first time you did a big one in the round? In the round, yeah.
In the round is like oddly intimate, isn't it? Yeah.
Because everyone's facing each other. It's pretty cool. It feels like it's a club around you on the bottom. It's so funny because people get so in their head. They're like, dude, it's all these people. It's crazy. I'm like, I perform to half sold out comedy clubs.
You know how much more nerve wracking it is to make eye contact with your fans that are disappointed that they're in a half sold out room than 20,000 people that are just there to be like, fucking Shane.
It's one of those things you just do it a couple of times and it gets normal. Yeah. Like all things. I'm sure. Yeah, like all things.
That's more fun, dude. It is very fun. Oh, it's so much more fun. It's very fun. Just so you guys know, I would way rather perform to 20,000 people than 100.
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Chapter 3: What are the differences between performing in large venues versus smaller settings?
I just want you to know that.
I don't know if that's a unique idea, but... Yeah, 100's good too, though, because 100 really shows you if your bits are bullshit. Yeah. 100 shows you the weak links in bits. You see them checking their phone. No, it's in you feel it. You feel like you're delivering them horse shit. You know, you feel like you're not appreciating what you're saying.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Of course. And I think it's also, like, it's such a spectacle when you go to, like, an arena where it's, like, people are, like, so lit and pumped to just, like, be there. They're so happy.
I know.
They're so excited. Yeah. I don't know how Sabrina Carpenter just came up in my feed from Coachella, little hot child.
Yeah.
She's like, that's all my algorithm is now is Sabrina Carpenter. My daughter loves her. I'm sure, yeah. My girlfriend loves her. She's got some good jams.
That Espresso song, that's a really good song.
Yeah, Man Child.
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Chapter 4: What shocking event involving Ted is mentioned?
Ted's dead.
He shot himself in the head twice.
From long range. Wait a minute, anti-gravity Ted? Anti-gravity Ted is dead. He killed himself with a sniper rifle. It was pretty crazy. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I'm going hiking with Monica. I don't fucking trust Monica. Fuck that. Monica's trying to kill you. I don't trust. She's out there hiking and Monica turns and waves at her.
I don't trust hiking. She was probably fucking killed by a bear or a mountain lion. You could get got. That's crazy.
My friend Cam, his brother almost got killed by a mountain lion and had this crazy story about it. And he's like a distance runner. He's one of those ultra marathon guys. And his brother told this video about like what had happened to him. He was running down the road and it was like dusk out, like starting to get dark. And he saw these eyes, these glowing eyes in the bushes.
And he yelled at it because he thought it was a coyote. And it stands up and it's a fucking mountain lion. And so then it starts chasing him. And he goes, I couldn't have used pepper spray because if I did, I would have sprayed myself because it was that close. Wow. He goes, I yelled at it, I kicked rocks at it, and he goes, I just ran.
He goes, I think the thing that might have saved me was a bunch of dogs were barking. And it might have thought the dogs were out there. You're not out running a mountain lion. No.
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Chapter 5: What are the dangers of hiking discussed in this segment?
It was running behind him, but not like 100% committed to killing him yet. Wow. That's scary.
Yeah, nature's fucking scary.
And people are like, we need to make an overpass in Los Angeles near these homes so the mountain lion can get across the fucking track. No. Any retard mountain lion that goes across the 405 should get obliterated. That's nature. That's nature. Hey, you thought that fucking semi wasn't dangerous, you retarded cat? That's a retard cat. Yes, it is.
That cat, probably his brother fucked his sister, and that's how he was born, and now he's a dumbass, and he's supposed to get taken out by a Subaru.
Did you ever see that? It was like all these inbred tigers.
Yeah.
Oh, white tigers. Yeah, dude, and they were like fucking goofy. They have one at the Austin Zoo. Retarded tigers.
We went to visit at the Austin Zoo, and you looked at them, and you're like, hey. Their tongues are hanging out. Yeah, they're goofy looking. A bunch of those white ones are inbred because that's a weird genetic thing, I guess, to have a white one.
Cute, though. I took my son to that Tiger, not the Tiger King, but it was the other guy, the one who's in jail for tax evasion now. Tiger King's in jail for murder It was one thing not for murder, but for like trying to get someone murdered the other guy He's the one who had all the girlfriends. Oh the guy ran the little cult no cult going on Yeah, dude.
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Chapter 6: How does the conversation shift to discussing billionaires and taxes?
They're like, baby tigers, I'll suck his dick. Fine.
Well, I think they just want to belong to something. And this guy comes along and he's charismatic and you belong to his little family. Family of five girls. They're all hanging out together, blowing this one fat guy. who's smuggling Mexicans and murdering baby tigers. That's the thing about those kind of guys. This is what I was going to say about the smuggling and the Mexicans.
Those kind of guys are never happy. with whatever they've gotten away with, they always want to keep pushing. He was not happy that he's an ugly guy with a cult of hot chicks. You did it. And tigers. You're a millionaire.
You have tigers and hot chicks.
That's what you need. You're in a TV show. You're good. You're good. You don't have to smuggle in the Mexicans, too. But those kind of guys are always, they just can't stop pushing.
Yeah.
Can't stop pushing.
Yeah, I think, yeah, it's whatever it is. Whatever level it is, you always want to level up, no matter what. No matter what. Bobby Kelly said that to me about Louis back in the day. He was like, you know, because we're all, everyone's insecure. Everyone in New York's insecure. Everyone in LA and Austin, you guys fucking, you guys are, you guys fucking love life.
You're just living life to your fullest. Everyone in New York is like, I'm going to kill myself. I hate fucking life. It sucks. I think it's the environment. Yeah, well, it's a rough city. It's a really rough city. It's a great city.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of microplastics on health?
I get too cynical about it.
Yeah. Well, probably good.
All the photos look kind of similar.
Right. Right. Like that looks not real. It's also like the way it's all colored is a little. Yeah, it's weird. You know what I mean? Like the multicolored plastic, like most plastic, is it multicolored? Doesn't it kind of look gray and shitty after a while? Especially inside of its stomach? A little bit. Right. Inside of its stomach getting chewed up by acids. It does look fake.
It looks like some sicko actually opened it up and shoved some plastic in there. But I guarantee you, birds have died from eating plastic.
That turtle wasn't fake, Joe. That turtle was not fake. That was a very real turtle.
Poor turtle. Poor turtle. The pliers, they couldn't get it. Remember? It's like the tip of it. It was only the tip of it. He's like, ah! He had to get a needle nose and get in there and pull. Oh! Poor turtle. And just because of that, everybody's sucking on forever chemicals. Like those paper straws are fucking terrible for you. Yeah. So is every paper cup.
Every paper cup that you get from Starbucks, that's a fucking condom in there that's keeping the water from going into the paper.
Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How does AI influence our communication and relationships?
Isn't that like- Oh yeah, he was right.
That whole quote, he was actually right. He was right. It's called atrazine. Yeah. Yeah, atrazine is an endocrine disruptor. I think it, yeah, I think it makes them reverse their sex, reverse their gender. They're turning the frigging frogs gay! He was right. He was right the whole time.
He was right, and everybody's like, no.
He was right about a few things. He fucked up that one. He did fuck up the one. He's right more often than he's not.
Yeah.
I mean, look, you're going to be wrong about conspiracies if you're spitting them out all day long for 12 hours a day. Of course. But his track record's pretty fucking good. Yeah. And that was one that everybody was like, listen to Alex Jones. They're not turning the... Oh, they are. Yeah. They're fucking turning the frogs gay. Like atrazine gets in the water and it disrupts their gender.
And it also does the same thing to people. And like that it disrupts your endocrine system.
Don't they say that receipt paper lowers your testosterone?
Yeah, it's supposed to be bad. Don't touch the receipts.
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