The Jordan Harbinger Show
1141: Dark Pillar of Community Abuses with Immunity | Feedback Friday
Fri, 18 Apr 2025
A manipulative "dark guru" assaults women in your community while event organizers ignore reports. How can safety be restored? It's Feedback Friday!And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1141On This Week's Feedback Friday:If you've ever wanted to hear Gabriel discuss feet, thumbs, and hot tubs with another J. Harbinger, you're going to love how this episode begins!Your arts community should be a safe haven, but it's been infiltrated by a predator who uses spiritual "shadow work" (à la Carl Jung) as a cover for assault. Multiple women have shared their stories with you, but event organizers won't act. How can you protect these women while ensuring this shady manipulator faces consequences without putting yourself in danger?Your mother-in-law threw you a baby shower featuring strangers from her MLM "tribe" who didn't follow registry instructions. The event felt more like her show than your celebration. Now you're anticipating boundary battles when the baby arrives — especially around her anti-science beliefs. You don't want to seem ungrateful, but what can you do to gain control of this awkward situation?As a federal employee during massive governmental "re-alignment," you're watching colleagues get "released" after lifetimes of civil service. With the sword of Damocles hanging over your own head daily, how do you process the potential loss of purpose, the anxiety of uncertainty, and the feeling that important work might remain undone? What's next if your mission suddenly evaporates?Your intellectually disabled sister-in-law attempted suicide in front of your young son after refusing an apology. Without legal guardianship established, paramedics couldn't force treatment, and your in-laws seem unwilling to address the situation properly. How do you protect your children, handle familial responsibility, and prepare for her eventual care?Recommendation of the Week: Strrrrrrrrretchiiiiiing!Remember the 27-year-old daughter who refused to leave her parents' home on Feedback Friday episode 1127? After discussing this "failure to thrive" case, listeners offered their perspectives on potential autism, cultural norms around adult children living at home, and the delicate balance between support and enabling. What does true parental love look like?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/dealsSign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who are the hosts of Feedback Friday and what is their dynamic?
Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, the stranger holding the door for you while you've got your hands full as you enter this edifice of life drama, Gabriel Mizrahi. You know how you gotta speed up a little? Like, you gotta pretend to speed up so you look like you're being polite? The little walk-run?
That's right, the little walk-run where you're like, oh, thank you, yeah, yeah. On the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. Our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker.
And during the week, we have long form conversations with a variety of amazing folks from former jihadis and drug traffickers to cult members and mafia enforcers. Even the occasional good guy makes an appearance on the show. This week, we had Mark Fulman, author of Trigger Points, Inside the Mission to Stop Mass Shootings in America.
Really sobering episode about mass shootings, school shootings, what it might take to stop this crazy nonstop problem that we're having. On Fridays, though, we share stories, take listener letters, offer advice, play obnoxious soundbites, and compare Gabe to various means of ingress and egress. Before we dive in today, I gotta tell you guys something funny. My son, Jaden, he now says friggin',
Oh, that frigging mushroom guy cut me off. We're playing Mario Kart. Sometimes people just yell frigging really loud when he's angry. She took my toy frigging.
And there's a first big thing he's doing. That's very much like you, right?
Yeah. He also looks exactly like me, but tiny.
So that's really funny.
Only my son does this. My daughter doesn't do this at all. He's just got this sort of streak to him. The other day... Hi, Junie. Hi. I knew you were going to come in. Hold on. Let me lift you up. Look out. I don't want to run over your foot. Look out. It's Uncle Gabriel.
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Chapter 2: What is 'shadow work' and how can it be misused by predators?
I stand a little taller. You don't have to be super hardcore to enjoy the benefits. I think this is great. I'm a big fan of stretching and doing tiny bits of yoga in small doses. I love this one.
Give it a shot for a week if you don't feel a huge difference. You can have a full refund on this podcast.
All right, what's next? Okay, for our last segment today, I wanted to revisit the letter we took about a month ago from the father of the daughter who refused to move out of her parents' house. That was episode 1127, question two on that episode. So quickly, for anyone who didn't catch it, the guy who wrote in to us was struggling because his 27-year-old daughter still lives at home.
She kind of refuses to move out and relies heavily on her parents for emotional support, which is now straining their marriage. She's actually a very fascinating person. She was super attached to the house that they live in, attached to her home, to her comforts. She's avoiding therapy.
It sounded like she was using a vague goal of working in law enforcement one day as a way to avoid going to therapy and working on herself. And she also struggled with OCD and hoarding tendencies. She wanted to be close to her cats who were buried in the backyard. And whenever they tried to talk to her about any of this, building her own life, she would get heated.
There was a lot going on in this story.
So our take was basically this daughter's facing a number of challenges, all of which probably speak to a very real anxiety. But these parents aren't serving her well by avoiding these conversations, cramping around her diagnoses, helping her stay small, safe.
Yes, exactly right. So I thought about this letter a lot after it aired, Jordan. And apparently a lot of you guys did, too. There was quite a lively discussion in the subreddit about it. And you can find that, by the way, reddit.com. slash r slash Jordan Harbinger. And you guys brought up a few things that we might have missed in our response.
So first of all, a lot of you agreed with our general take that the situation was not very healthy for any of them. Most of you seem to feel that this family was in fact quite enmeshed. The daughter was fairly regressed. A lot of you felt that she was actually manipulating her parents by coming up with all of these reasons that she doesn't have to leave the nest.
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