Space Olympics
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What cold story did Jorma share about Medieval Times?
Hey, everybody. I don't know if cold opens are appropriate for podcasts, but just before we all hit record, Jorm said he had a great story about medieval times.
I was there. I don't know if it's a great story.
I think it was a good time. It was Andy's birthday. We all went. I think it was like, what, six of us? I don't know how many it was. We had our own little table. We've had mutton, probably. I can't remember what else we had. We really cheered our hearts out for Azul. That was my favorite night. I loved Azul. You remember the name of one of the nights? That's impressive. Yeah, it's amazing what I do and don't remember, guys.
He didn't remember if it was a birthday or how many people, but he knew Azul. Yeah.
I just remember screaming Azul at the top of my lungs and pounding on the cutlery. You could get like pots. Things came in pots and pounding on things. And everyone kept saying, stop. There was a lot of mead. Where do you feel like this is as far as a good story, Andy? Well, I got pretty drunk and then I stole a princess hat from the gift shop. And then I jumped on someone's car in the parking lot, as I recall. Now I feel like you're just making stuff up. No, that all happened.
I can vouch for this. Oh, this is real?
Yeah, that all happened. Also, they give you a picture of your group, and then they come over at the end to make sure that you want to pay for it. And I was like, I don't have it anymore.
And they were like, sir, you clearly have the picture. We were like 22 and broke, and we went out there. And whatever volume, whatever decibel level you're supposed to yell to root on your knight, Azul, your picture double all the time. We're all like, yeah, Azul. And you're like, Azul!
How did the group celebrate Andy's birthday?
hurting that's why he's remembering people coming over to tell him to take it down in the house like whoa whoa whoa the horses are gonna get scared so you were behaving as a modern human in a way that was inappropriate for medieval times that's right you could say that where famously almost everything went everything was allowed yeah no no no that didn't fly at medieval times yeah well i don't know if this bodes well for the future of cold opens on the pod
I think Joram panicked once it was teed up that he was going to tell a good story, and he told all of the parts out of order and not with any particular aplomb.
I worry with you guys that my time is limited, so I try to give it back. I got 45 seconds to impress everybody with my drunkenness.
It was a little bit like we were like, all right, plot of Michael Clayton, you have 30 seconds, and then we're pulling your mic.
He's a lawyer. He's a lawyer. He has a briefcase.
Oh, boy. That's not important.
Can I take a stab at it, Jorm? Fine. It was my 20, let's say, second birthday. And I wanted to go to Medieval Times, and we all went as a big group. And the last thing I remember is Jorma in a princess hat that he stole from the gift shop, standing in the parking lot as slow traffic went out of the parking lot, screaming at the top of his lungs. Probably Azul as well. Azul!
He fucking won!
It went from us being like, let's go to Evil Times. That'll be a lark to that image that I will never forget.
Okay.
One of my friends once decided after a long night of drinking, we were at a restaurant that had a neon World Cup 94 sign. And he decided he was going to steal it. He needed it. And we were like, don't steal it. And he put it under his coat and walked out. And I would say what he looked like to the people who worked there was a guy with a giant neon sign under his coat with a cord dragging behind him. They called the cops and he ran out of the restaurant and then up, we were in Chicago, up the stairs to the L and was waiting for his train and then he would have a good escape. And two cops walked up and like in the history of being a cop, it was just clearly the easiest nab of all time. It's like, hey, you're under arrest. And he's like, yeah.
It would be like if they put him in the lineup with, like, four other guys, and they're like, okay, so who was it? And only one of them had a giant neon sign with the cord hang off stuffed under his jacket. It's honestly just that I think you should leave Sketch.
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