This is the episode every mom—and anyone who loves a mom—needs to hear. In this raw, honest, and hilarious episode, Mel sits down with her friend Jessie, who is weeks away from giving birth to her first child. What unfolds is the kind of real talk you rarely hear about motherhood. Whether you're dreaming of becoming a parent, knee-deep in diapers, juggling teenage drama, or reflecting on your grown-up kids, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. It’s also a powerful reflection on your relationship with your own mom. Mel—26 years into parenting—keeps it real with hard-earned wisdom, regrets, and the one piece of advice she wishes someone had told her sooner. If you've ever felt like you're not doing enough, questioned every decision, or worried you're getting it all wrong... you're not alone. And you need to hear this. This isn’t a sugar-coated take on parenting. It’s real, relatable, and filled with laugh-out-loud moments and deeply moving insights.Whether you’re a new mom, a seasoned pro, or reflecting on your own childhood, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and a whole lot better about the job you’re doing. This is also one to share—with your mom, your sister, your daughter, your mother-in-law, your friends. Especially as Mother’s Day approaches, this episode is a gift. For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked this episode, you’ll love hearing from parenting expert Dr. Shefali: You Learn This Too Late: This One Idea Might Change Your Entire LifeConnect with Mel: Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them TheoryWatch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-freeDisclaimer
Chapter 1: What is the journey of motherhood really like?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for our topic today because we have one mother of a topic. What is it? Motherhood. So me personally, I'm a mom of three adult kids, and I gotta say, motherhood, it is a journey, and there are some days it just feels like a bad trip. Boy, have I made some mistakes.
And whether you're a mom, you wanna be one, you've lost one, or you're still trying to figure out your relationship with yours, I cannot wait to have this conversation with you. And you don't need to be a mom, by the way, or even want to be a mom to get something out of what we're gonna talk about.
Because what we're really talking about is relationships and how to think about the topic of motherhood and your relationship with your mom or your adult kids in a whole new way. And we're gonna cover it all. The surprises, the struggles, the things I wish I had known sooner, the things I would go back in time and change if I could time travel and snap my fingers and do that.
I'm gonna talk about the guilt, the expectations, the pressure to do it all perfectly. And if you're a new mom or you're about to be a new mom, I'm gonna tell you the things that no one else will tell you. And if your kids are already grown like mine, We're going to talk about how to build the strongest relationships with them yet, even when you screwed a lot of things up like I did.
If you've ever wanted a better understanding of your mom, our conversation today is going to help you see her in a whole new way. And if your mom is still with us, she is going to love to hear this conversation too. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm so excited for our conversation today. I love spending time with you. It's always an honor to be together.
And if you're a brand new listener, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Boy, have you picked a winner. And because you made the time. to hit play and listen to this particular episode. Here's what I know about you.
You're the kind of person who values your family, and that can be your given family, it can be your chosen family, and you also value celebrating the special people in your life. And I wanna tell you something before we jump into the topic of all things moms and kids and the connection between you and your mom, is someone sent you this episode. I'll tell you why.
It's because they really want to have a closer connection with you. And if you're a mom, they probably sent it to you also to tell you, you did a good job, and I think you're going to love hearing the conversation today. Because today, you and I are talking all about moms. And you certainly have a mom, or if she's no longer with us, you had one, or you had a mother figure.
And if you are a mom, or if you're about to be a mom, or if you're wondering, do I even... Want to have kids? Well, this is going to make you think so differently.
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Chapter 2: What advice do new moms need to hear?
Well, I just think it's like something you deal with every single day and you get to decide if you want to go through life as a mom and put that much pressure on yourself or like, you know, the let them theory could actually be very helpful because right now you can be like, let her come when she's ready. Yes.
And let me just honor how I feel and let me also remind myself that I trust that everything's going to be okay. Yes, I love that. And so I feel like that's a way to hold space for two things to be true. And, you know, the other thing is, is that you are going to screw things up. Yeah. There would be no therapists if parents did not screw up parenting. So true. Yes. There wouldn't be.
I mean, you would have therapy for the kind of pain and trauma that human beings inflict on people in other settings. Mm-hmm. But I bet the vast majority of therapists are actually working through the shit that kids experience with parents. And we all do it. I screwed up majorly with my kids because I was not in control of my own anxiety. I was volatile with my stress and my emotions.
I was a shouter. I had a very short fuse. I took work stress out on them. And so it created in at least my two daughters this sense of being on edge because I was that mom that was wildly fun and then wildly pissed off. And so who are we going to get today? And what do I need to do to make sure my mom's okay? Because I want the one that's happy and fun.
I don't want the one that's pissed off at the world. Right. And so I think that, you know, you will screw things up and you have to give yourself grace because as your child grows, you're going to grow and learn. That's how you do it. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. Yeah. And, you know, you can also apologize to your kids. I certainly have.
I'm really sorry I was not able to be, you know, a person that had a more stable emotional personality when you guys were younger. I'm really sorry that dad and I were fighting all the time when we were struggling financially. I'm really sorry that there were mornings where my kids literally would be ready. They'd get themselves ready for the buses when we were really struggling financially.
I'm trying to think how the kids were like 10 and eight. And Sawyer and Kendall would literally wake Chris and I up. We were in these chairs, Jessie, drunk. We had been drinking all night because of all the financial stress. And they'd like tap, tap, tap. And the bus is coming. Wow. And I screwed that up. And so it's okay to apologize. Yeah. You're not supposed to be perfect.
You just do the best that you can with the resources that you have and the skill set that you have. And, you know, there's this concept that I absolutely love. This comes from both Dr. Nicola Perla and Dr. Russell Kennedy.
Mm-hmm.
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Chapter 3: How can you build strong relationships with adult children?
And I think it's normal to get frustrated and exacerbated with your kids, especially when they have mental health problems or they have a lot of behavioral stuff or like you're just going through situations where you just can't catch a break. But I just feel so bad at just how I just would just get, I must have been like a grizzly bear to him.
But I love that you had that conversation with him about it. He was like, it's okay, mom.
I'm like, no, it's actually not okay. I need you to understand. And I started crying that I really screwed up. Like you deserve somebody in your life that could actually meet that moment and comfort you. And I take responsibility for the fact that this stuck around for several years because I'd say half of the times when this was happening, because it was always like out in public.
Hmm.
I just got so frustrated with you and I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Jessie, I'm so glad we're having this conversation because first of all, your daughter's our first baby here at the Mel Robbins Podcast. Yes. Team 143 Studios. You're not going to be alone because you have so many mother hens that are about to swoop in. You'll never even be able to hold your daughter. So I am so excited because I see a stack of questions from listeners.
And now that we've covered a lot of the stuff about your questions, don't go anywhere because we're going to be digging into your relationship with your parents, adult kids, the mistakes that you may have made or that your mother or father may be made when you were growing up. We have so many incredible questions from you to dig into when we return. Stay with us. Welcome back.
It's your buddy Mel Robbins. Today, you and I are having an amazing conversation about just the experience of being a kid, of parenting, of your relationship with your parents, mistakes made, things that you can do better, how to get closer to somebody. And we're going to jump into more topics around parenting itself. And as you listen, even if you're not a parent,
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