ON-AIR π’ - Culinary Court: The Tuna Toastie Trial
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What is the Tuna Toastie Trial about?
This is a podcast from Rover.
The Morning Rumble Podcast. Now recyclable. Just hit replay.
We're talking a toasted sandwich, believe it or not. No, they will believe it. No, they absolutely will. They're the Morning Rumble listeners. They've been here a long time. And if you are new, there'll be no surprise that Roger's 80% toasted sandwich. I'm heading to court. Morning Rumble's culinary court is in session. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as f***, and it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop.
Welcome along to Culinary Court, Tuesday 26th of May. It is. Roger Farrelly, you are charged with crimes against the culinary world after what we saw yesterday, which you can see right now by texting TOAST to 3520. I'd like to bring in my first witness, Mitch. Thank you, Your Honour.
What happened during the kitchen incident with the toastie?
Mitch, I'll take it to you, because yesterday morning, as we were in the studio, you came back into the producer booth, buzzed through to us, and made us aware of something you'd just witnessed.
Yeah, I was floating out to the kitchen, I was just filling up my water bottle, and I saw Rog stood out by the table. You don't normally see Rog out in the kitchen.
Never.
Already my suspicions were slightly raised. Unless there are women there. Overruled. Overruled. Sorry. Keep it within what we're talking about, please. Well, surprisingly, there was a real lack of women around him at this point. He was stood in the kitchen and he looked lost. Did he look like he was having a stroke? No, no, not quite.
How did the Tuna Toastie trial unfold in Culinary Court?
Just a total look of confusion. Uncomfortable? Uncomfortable, lost. Yeah, oblivious is the word. You can sit down now, mate.
What are the repercussions of microwaving a tuna toastie?
Excuse me.
You're not the judge.
Shouldn't you be standing? You're the recidivist. Order in the court.
Order. Say now. First witness right there. Obviously, thank you.
So at that point, I was aware something was going on. Rog came back to the studio. Me and Miles were here. Rog is walking around. Now, about this time in the morning, too, I'm going to say this is around quarter to ten. Around about this time. About quarter to ten. Usually, Rog is munching on one of his little snacks from his lunchbox that he's brought in.
What toilet troubles did the hosts share?
His little lunchbox, yeah.
It looks like he's got off a year three student. Yeah, it does. It looks like a kid's lunch. So he's eating this sandwich. And a cellophane wrapper. Yeah. Yeah, out the corner of my eye, I'm like, hang on, what is that? Come here, bring that here. Which brings the sandwich over to my dismay. He's got what is clearly a toasted sandwich, like a prepared toast sandwich that had come from a cafe, that had been given to you where your daughter works. That's right. Clearly butted up on either side. On the outside.
On the outside.
That's the test. To be toasted in a toasted sandwich press. A press. And the butter was all over my fingers. Everyone knows this. He didn't know that's what you do. Yeah, he didn't know. He'd taken it to the kitchen and done what, Rog? What did you do? Microwaved it.
Ah!
What near-death experience did a guest recount?
Why? Why would you think to microwave? Was it a ham and cheese toastie? It was a tuna cheese. You absolute criminal. You know there is a United Nations convention about microwaving fish at work.
You know that. So you put that in the microwave.
He comes back with these two hot, soggy bits of bread with wet marge and slop on the outside. Now, on his lips, I'm like, is he blistering? What is that on his lips? That's what I got confused with. Are his lips weeping? I thought his lips were weeping past it was margarine. All over his lips. Rick! Yeah? I'm in there. Should be ashamed. Guilty. Guilty.
No, because there's more to this.
What humorous stories about gym injuries were shared?
And then I said, do you know that's the toast sandwich? And he tried to start blaming his daughter, Grace. Bloody Grace. Bloody Grace.
Yeah, she said, heat it up. That's what she said. She's bloody done me here. Somehow we've got to this point in life that you didn't know what to do with a toasted sandwich. It shocks me. I was confused as to what was going on. She did say heat it up. I thought the microwave, straight to the microwave, I thought.
A sandwich.
But you saw the margarine on the outside or butter on the outside.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the Tuna Toastie Trial about?
0:00β1:06
2
What happened during the kitchen incident with the toastie?
1:06β1:51
3
How did the Tuna Toastie trial unfold in Culinary Court?
1:51β2:02
4
What are the repercussions of microwaving a tuna toastie?
2:02β2:32
5
What toilet troubles did the hosts share?
2:32β3:21
6
What near-death experience did a guest recount?
3:21β4:09
7
What humorous stories about gym injuries were shared?
4:09β4:47
8
What lessons can be learned from the Tuna Toastie Trial?
4:47β48:28