Show 98 - "Stiffen Up"

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THE MORNING SHIFT 42 min 3 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the show's opening vibe and who are the hosts introducing?

Unknown 0:03
Let's go.
Brook Ruscoe 0:05
Never fold. Ten toes down, baby. You know who it is. I'm trying to be like you, mother.
Unknown 0:11
Shush. It's too late to turn back now. The Money Shift.
Matua Marc 0:16
Powered by Unimedia. Please.
Brook Ruscoe 0:21
Yes, God, a good morning, good evening, and everything in between. It's a Mahi Monday. We're right here for our morning shifters from our misters to our sisters. We're back for another show just in case you missed us. Do the dishes. All powered by Uno Media. Let's turn the engine on and have some fun, team.
Matua Mark 0:36
Kia ora, Te Whanau. Stay blessed. Don't stress. We've got you covered like a sundress. Welcome to officially the number one show if you call Aotearoa your home. Welcome to new media, the people's media. Let's pool. Say no more, take your shoes off at the door.
Brook Ruscoe 0:51
Everything you want, nothing you don't. Real people, real talk. And if we ain't number one on the charts, hopefully we're number one in your hearts.
Matua Marc 0:57
Let's get it.
Brook Ruscoe 0:59
All right, guys. Hey, Emma, come for us in the intro.
Matua Mark 1:02
If nothing else, we nailed the first minute. The first minute is unreal. It's got to be the best minute in... Oh, there are no other new media. So it's great.
Brook Ruscoe 1:12
What's on the show today? Who's been finishing your damn sentences? Who's been finishing you? Is it playing up? We've got the sports wrap, and it's a Monday, so we're on the hunt for Cinderella. Or fella. But we're on the hunt for that magic shoe. Will it fit? Magic slipper, sorry. And will it fit? But we always start the show with an absolute boop! And today there's on the score to Jordan.
Matua Mark 1:33
That's right, I got a lot of messages over the weekend. I'm not trying to be that guy, but you know, they were looking for this track here, so I thought I'd just play it out. Won't tell you what it is, but it is a vibe. Brog, let's go.
Matua Mark 1:50
Shift is fun. You know it's a Monday. It's not how you start. It's always how you start, Josh. Bro, can you wind it up for me? Can you wind it up for me?
Unknown 2:10
I can tell you no one isn't going to find us.
Launch it out. Bring it back.
Matua Mark 2:33
Oh, we're not done. Turn it up. Shift is however you're feeling this morning, this evening, whatever's in between, whenever you listen to this.
Brook Ruscoe 2:45
Maybe you want to do a haka.
Matua Mark 2:46
Just remember. I forgot. The beat's too intense.
Brook Ruscoe 3:04
A lot of you think you know where to find that song, so I'll let you keep looking. I can confirm you guys are never going to find the song. Jordan, send me the link. Good luck with that. Hell of a find, though.

What topics and segments are teased at the start of the episode?

Matua Marc 3:13
The depths he goes to.
Brook Ruscoe 3:15
The depths.
Matua Mark 3:16
From the depths. From the depths. Speaking of, before we have a little chicken, guys, we pretty much had a show before we started recording today. We need the OnlyFans, like, separate part. You make it sound dirty. It was just a good yarn, you know? What's the deal with OnlyFans? You've got to subscribe to have money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brook Ruscoe 3:35
Extra, extra.
Matua Marc 3:36
What we're referring to is a conversation that sprung out of, I mean, we were talking about our weekend and blah, blah, blah, and just getting ready for the show and checking in on each other. And Jordan and I, we had a moment. We shared and connected. We often do connect on moments. We're at a deeper level. You're so deep in something. Yeah, we were deep talking about topics and issues that go on in relationships. And I said, do you know what? If I was gay and I actually enjoyed the company of another man.
Matua Mark 4:05
I don't know if I wanted you to say that.
Matua Marc 4:08
I said my first mission would be to break you and your relationship up. To which, as a throwaway comment, you know, a bit of a throwaway comment. But Brooke got hurt feelings. Brooke was like, hang on a minute.
Matua Mark 4:21
Brooke got butt hurt. Brooke was like, you guys would make a terrible couple. Brooke's little fake butt got buttered. I think you guys would be a terrible couple. For our fucking fake... Hey, man. Hey, reel it in. For our fake butts. And then we started going, who would be the best partner if we switched to the other side?
Matua Marc 4:43
Which couple would make the best couple? Would it be Jordan or Brooke? Would it be myself and Jordan? And so the conversation went... I think we ended up in a place where Brooke with Hunter decided, like, you'd be a lot of fun.

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