Ep. 124 Building Rapport Isn’t Enough...How Therapists Become Part of the Intervention
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Why is building rapport only the first step in therapy?
Hello, hello, welcome back
to the NeuroFirm Show. Fly and solo again today. Chris has been very busy preparing for a large live event that he is doing coming up at the end of the month, all about how to use AI to make your therapy sessions easier and more engaging. I will be sure to Put the link or more information below. I don't even know if he has the link ready yet, but if it is, I will put it below because it's definitely gonna be an awesome event that you don't want to miss. But today we are going to be talking about how we can move beyond rapport building, why it's just not enough to only think about building rapport. This is something that basically gets drilled into our heads when we are in grad school and we start going into clinical placements.
Our professors tell us how important it is to build rapport with our clients, right? And I I don't even know if if we even at the time I don't even know when I learned what that word meant. I feel like it was never described to me. It was just something that was talked about so much in con f in context that I ended up figuring out what it meant. But today we're going to talk moving about how to move past that stage of building rapport because I think what happens is we think of building rapport as something that we have to get out of the way so that we can get to the real therapy. And a lot of times it might be used in the way of Okay, so I'm just gonna build a rapport with this client and then as soon as we do, then we're just gonna kick up the demands.
And There's a couple things. Yes, it is true that building rapport is the first step in therapy, but The problem becomes when we feel like it's just something that has to get done so that we can get onto the good stuff, get on to the stuff that's gonna be harder for the child and as opposed to thinking about rapport as something that translates then into the therapeutic relationship. So we're gonna be talking more about rapport versus what a therapeutic relationship is and how you can actually use that therapeutic relationship as part of the intervention for kids. So what is rapport exactly? Let's clear it up here. Okay, it's essentially a sense of ease, mutual comfort, positive connection between two people.
It's got some French roots in the relationship realm. I don't know. There's I don't I can't uh I have a horrible French accent, so I c I will not even try.
How does rapport differ from a therapeutic relationship?
But I know that's where it came from. Okay, so it's essentially this sense of connection. that we establish with someone. Whereas they the therapeutic relationship is what do we do with that connection over time? What is it like for the child to be in therapy with you? So instead of just asking, which I think a lot of us do often, instead of just asking, do I have a good connection with this child? We wanna start asking a more pointed, a more specific question. We wanna start asking, How does the child experience me as their therapist? And that will help you to start to dig in to some factors that you may not have even considered. in terms of how they experience the relationship with you. So these are just some of the factors that you really want to think about when you are thinking about what is their experience like with me as a therapist.
You wanna think about trust. Do your actions consistently show that you are someone that the child can trust. Like if you say you're gonna do something, are you gonna do it? If they communicate something to you, are you gonna take them seriously? We think about safety. Does interacting with you feel emotionally and physically safe for them? Are you predictable? Do you notice when something is becoming too much for them? Can they exist around you without feeling like they have to mask or without feeling like they have to perform? We think about autonomy, do does the child actually have a meaningful influence over what happens in the sessions? Do they get to say no? Do they get to feel like they have a choice in choosing the activities that you're doing?
And then we want to think about your responsiveness, which is are you noticing what the child's communicating and responding to it?
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why is building rapport only the first step in therapy?
0:08–2:48
2
How does rapport differ from a therapeutic relationship?
2:48–6:03
3
What does a child need to feel safe, trusted, and autonomous in sessions?
6:03–8:23
4
How do trust, safety, and predictability shape the therapeutic bond?
8:23–10:18
5
What is the ‘therapeutic use of self’ and why does it matter?
10:18–13:01
6
How can a therapist intentionally adapt energy, voice, and pacing for each child?
13:01–14:20
7
Why are authenticity, flexibility, and repair essential for effective therapy?
14:20–14:45
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