How to Find Joy Even When Life Is Hard | Diane Shiffer

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The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose 51 min 1 speaker 3 chapters transcribed 7 hours ago
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What is the core message of the “two wolves” parable and how does it relate to joy and pain?

Diane Shiffer 0:00
Heartbreak doesn't make beauty any less beautiful and pain doesn't make joy any less joyful. They all are their own thing. They all are their own wonderful thing and can be experienced ironically simultaneously.
Eric Zimmer 0:26
Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. My favorite chapter in Diane Schiffer's new book is called Seven Out of Ten.
Eric Zimmer 1:16
Her claim is that most of life is about a seven out of ten of what we may have hoped for. Some days you're at a ten, some days you're at a three, but seven is the honest average. And as Diane says, seven tenths of a pie is a lot of pie. I find this so true of my own life. I've joked before, if someone asked me how things are, I'm going to answer strong seven most of the time. But when I decide a seven should be a nine, I tend to end up at a five. Diane is a grandmother with millions of followers on Instagram, where she films small moments of beauty from her own home. Her book is The Smallest of Joys. I'm Eric Zimmer, and this is The One You Feed. Hi, Diane. Welcome to the show.
Diane Shiffer 2:02
Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here.
Eric Zimmer 2:06
I really love your Instagram. It's easy for everybody, I think, to pick on social media because there's so much junk out there. But when I started seeing what you were doing, I was like, this is the great part of the Internet that we don't talk about enough. And so we're going to talk all about how you became sort of a Internet sensation as As well as your new book, which is called The Smallest of Joys. How to create your own magic, let your best be enough, and find contentment exactly as you are. But before we do that, we'll start like we always do with the parable. And in the parable, there's a grandparent who's talking with their grandchild. And they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.
Eric Zimmer 2:48
One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love. And the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandchild stops. They look up at their grandparent and they say, well, which one wins? And the grandparent says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do.
Diane Shiffer 3:12
Well, first of all, what an incredible parable that is. I have to say that I was talking to a couple of people before coming on this program, and When I told them that the title of your podcast, The One You Feed, they instantly recognized the title as from that parable, right? Because it's such an incredible analogy for life and for our emotional health, right? Right. And without really modeling my life after that parable, I I think it is exactly the way I've lived my life. And I think for me, those two wolves are anxiety and contentment. Right. And we can choose or I can choose. I've made choices in life already. over the years to feed my anxiety or to feed my contentment. And when I feed my anxiety, when I tell myself I'm not good enough, when I tell myself, you know, doom is right around the corner or nobody likes me or whatever those anxiety words are, when those are the words I tell myself, then I become...
Diane Shiffer 4:40
Less effective, less happy, less everything, right? But when I tell myself, when I feed myself beauty and calm and self-affirmation and safety, then I become more. I become more. And I become more capable and more, not just more content, I become more all the things I want to be, right?

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