Oprah with Belle Burden on the Collapse of Her 20 Year Marriage & Her Bestselling Memoir
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Oh, my goodness, Belle. We got some talking to do, girl. I see that you've marked the book up.
What led to Belle Burden's shocking discovery about her marriage?
I have marked the book.
I wanted to do this book because there are so many friends that I've had who've gone through this. And I feel like I've gone through it with them. Yes. you are every woman, that you have written the manual for every woman. This book is just, it's a memoir of marriage, but it's also a memoir of every woman who's gone through divorce. Suddenly hearing from her husband, I don't want to be married anymore. I'm unhappy. And you thought everything was OK.
How did Belle cope after learning about her husband's affair?
And he, yeah, this is the book.
Thank you. Everybody's talking about it.
You're going to get into it now. OK, I'm ready.
What challenges did Belle face when telling her children about the divorce?
Ask me anything.
OK.
Hey there, everybody. Welcome to the Oprah Podcast. It's good to be with you here. I'm really excited to talk about our subject today. Take a moment and try to imagine this happening to you. A lot of you don't even have to imagine it because it's already happened. Out of the blue, your spouse.
Is divorce worse than death according to Belle's experience?
of 20 years and father to your three children says this I thought I was happy but I'm not I thought I wanted our life but I don't I feel like a switch has been flipped I'm done you can have custody of the kids I don't want it I don't want any of it Imagine that after 20 years, when you're just thinking things are OK. Well, my guest heard just those words from her husband and has now written an evocative, may I say, book that has struck a chord with so many women and readers. Everybody I know is talking about this book.
Why did Belle decide to write her memoir, 'Strangers'?
It's called Strangers, a memoir of marriage. But if you've been through a divorce or suspect that you might be going through a divorce, it's also your story. From the outside, Bell Burden was living a life most people only dream of. She and her husband of 21 years were raising their three children in New York City. Summers were spent at their home on Martha's Vineyard, an idyllic island off the coast of Massachusetts. Bell, a Harvard-trained lawyer, hails from a prominent American family filled with bold-faced names, including the Vanderbilts and John Jay, the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
What does Belle hope to achieve with her book for other women?
Her maternal grandmother was style icon and socialite Babe Paley. Her step-grandfather was Bill Paley, the founder of CBS.
How did Belle's financial situation impact her divorce experience?
Belle grew up in a family where generations of women rarely ever discussed their husbands' transgressions. But when her own husband abruptly ended their marriage, Belle decided to break that chain. First with a modern love essay in the New York Times that went viral, and now with her new New York Times bestseller, Strangers, a memoir of marriage. Welcome, Bell Burden. Glad to be with you on my front porch.
I'm so glad to be here. It's so exciting. Oh, Bell, the people are talking about this book. They really are. I'm hearing from so many women around the world, and it's really surprised me in the most wonderful way.
Okay, what did you think when you wrote it? I know it started as an article for The New York Times.
It did. And I thought when I wrote it that it would be a quiet book, that it would sort of get known by word of mouth, that women would talk about it a little bit. But I did not expect this kind of response. But it really is women reading it, seeing themselves in it.
Passing it on to other women and seeing themselves. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Some books explain things, I would say. And then there are books that name things that I think that we've been living with our whole lives, but never had the language for. You all know what I'm talking about. And Strangers is actually one of those books. So you were married for 21 years to James. That's not his real name. You believed that it was a good marriage, a solid and happy marriage. And you and your husband had recently, this is what struck me about the book, you and your husband had recently purchased a brand new expensive sleep number mattress.
Yes, very, very expensive bed in January.
Yeah.
And this happened in March, two months later. And he had picked out the mattress. Okay, so you're thinking if you're getting this expensive mattress,
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:01–0:08
2
What led to Belle Burden's shocking discovery about her marriage?
0:08–0:36
3
How did Belle cope after learning about her husband's affair?
0:36–0:44
4
What challenges did Belle face when telling her children about the divorce?
0:44–1:08
5
Is divorce worse than death according to Belle's experience?
1:08–1:46
6
Why did Belle decide to write her memoir, 'Strangers'?
1:46–2:26
7
What does Belle hope to achieve with her book for other women?
2:26–2:37
8
How did Belle's financial situation impact her divorce experience?
2:37–1:04:12
Speakers
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