Show notes
Do you find yourself doing things you hate? How often do you engage with people who drain you, but you still spend time with them anyway? All of us have preferences, but we often don't honor them. Subsequently, we end up burned out and frustrated, leading to resentment. Identifying acts you're pushing yourself to do is the first step to boundary setting. In this episode, Nedra Glover Tawwab joins us to discuss the importance of asserting and honoring your preferences. We need to be honest with ourselves as we can never please everyone. On the bright side, there will always be the right community where you can thrive. Nedra also shares ways to end toxic relationships and manage "energy vampires." If you want to find peace in your relationships and life by practicing healthy boundary setting, then tune in to this episode! This episode is brought to you by: Cerebral www.getcerebral.com/loved to get 65% OFF your first month! Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 1.Discover why boundary setting is vital and how you can learn to assert yourself. 2.Understand that you do not need to please everyone. Instead, find your community. 3.Learn how to end toxic relationships by asserting your boundaries. Resources ●Connect with Nedra: ○Website: https://www.nedratawwab.com/ ○Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/ ○Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nedratawwab/ ○Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/nedratawwab/ ●Get you copy of Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab at https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/647316/set-boundaries-find-peace-by-nedra-glover-tawwab/ ●Get free worksheets from Nedra on https://www.nedratawwab.com/freeworksheets! ●Book a counseling session with Nedra’s team on https://kaleidoscopecounselingpllc.com/ ●Create a daily meditation ritual in just seven days! Download BUILD YOUR DAILY MEDITATION RITUAL and other freebies on https://www.radicallyloved.com/free-stuff! ●FREE workbook! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Sign up at RadicallyLoved.com, and I’ll send it right away! ●Stay updated! ○Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosieacosta/ ○Twitter: https:twitter.com/rosieacosta ○Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/radicallylovedrosie ○TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsrosieacosta Episode Highlights Importance of Boundary Setting ●Nedra’s book compiled a series of her personal life experiences as well as those of her clients on boundary issues. ●We often don’t realize how we have adopted other people’s beliefs. Setting boundaries is a way to reclaim ourselves. ●We all have things we like and don’t like. However, asserting these preferences is usually a challenge. ●As adults, we need to honor other people's boundaries, especially the boundaries of children. ●We ignore our personal discomfort by allowing ourselves to submit to people's beliefs. How Can We Start with Boundary Setting? ●Honoring your preferences requires identifying how things could either be spirit enhancers or spirit breakers. ●In the podcast, Rosie and Nedra discuss how to overcome Rosie’s aversion to Facebook. ●When you know that specific actions are draining, it helps to find other strategies to achieve the same goal and still retain energy. ●We have our own energetic boundaries that notify us whenever we’re involved in an energetically draining pursuit. Boundary Setting with Energy Vampires ●When dealing with people who drain your energy, determine how often, for what duration, and what topics you will engage with that person. ●We tend to get used to patterns in relationships. However, if a specific relationship is draining, we need to break the pattern. Do something different. ●Nedra suggests reflecting on how you can contribute your own pain in these relationships. ●If you think you are the energy vampire, ask people you trust for their feedback. You Can’t Please Everyone ●It’s easy to point out other people’s flaws and harder to look at our own. ●Remember that you cannot please everyone, and that's okay. ●In the era of social media, it's normal to want everyone to like you. People are different, and you won't align with everyone. ●Instead of trying to please everyone, look for your own community that appreciates you. How to End Toxic Relationships ●We often feel that ending relationships require closure and a declaration of why the other person is terrible. ●However, relationships can end slowly over time. ●Before confronting toxic people, identify your intentions first. ●It's best to opt for a gentle conversation and tell them you need space, which can gradually end the relationship. How to Encourage Children to Try Things ●Nedra shares that children already have preferences. It may take years for them to be open to new choices. ●Don't force children to try things. Understand that there may be other things that contribute to their preferences. ●Give children the ability to shape their preferences. ●You can introduce them to new things slowly over time. Why Nedra Feels Radically Loved ●Nedra shares that she feels radically loved when people are authentic in expressing love — such as hugging. 5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode [15:02] “There are things that we like and things that we do not like, and it is okay to honor both.” [16:22] “You have to determine how often, for what duration, and what you want to talk about. Those are the three ways to handle people who deplete your energy.” [18:35] “If things aren't working, don't keep going with it. Try something even a tad bit different.” [24:44] "The world is full of human beings [that] are different, and there are some people who will be offended by something [and] there are some people who will get the joke. You have to find your community." [27:39] ”Reading people and telling them how terrible they are is typically not very effective. We don't need to tell people how they're terrible.” About Nedra Nedra Tawwab is a licensed therapist and relationship expert. She's also a New York Times Bestselling author with her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace. She is also the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling https://kaleidoscopecounselingpllc.com/. With over 14 years of relationship therapy experience, she has observed that most relationship issues start with a lack of boundaries. Through her practice, she has helped people create and implement healthy boundaries in their lives. Nedra earned her undergraduate and graduate degrees from Wayne University in Detroit. She also earned additional certifications in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders for families and couples, as well as training for counseling adults who have dealt with childhood emotional neglect. You can learn more about Nedra’s work on her website https://www.nedratawwab.com/. You can also connect with her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/nedratawwab/ and Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ph/nedratawwab/. Enjoy the Podcast? If you felt radically loved from listening to this podcast, subscribe and share it with the people you love! Love to give us five stars? If you do, we’d love a review from you. Help us reach more people and make them feel loved. Are you having relationship issues and want to create better boundaries? A simple way is to listen to the episode and share what you’ve learned today on social media. Don’t forget to follow and message us on these platforms! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosieacosta/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/rosieacosta Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/radicallylovedrosie TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsrosieacosta To feeling radically loved, Rosie