Chapter 1: What are the challenges of discussing financial changes with a spouse?
My good friend, John Deloney. So we are answering your questions about your life, your relationships, your money. So give us a call at 888-825-5225, and we are here for you. All right, starting us off this hour is Holly in Portland, Oregon. Hey, Holly. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hello, hello.
What's up?
Hi. I have a difficult question, and I'm really glad that I get to talk to both of you about it.
Absolutely.
Let it rip.
Okay. I have to have a really hard conversation with my husband. I have to basically tell him in a loving way that I really don't care what his dreams and aspirations are, that I really just need him to get a better job.
Oh, fantastic. This is incredible. Okay. Okay, dig in. I don't care. Like, this is a wife that's at the end of her rope.
She's really resolved. That's all I'm going to say. Holly knows. I love it.
This is a wife at the end of her rope. I don't care what your stupid dreams are. I don't care when you think the Avon sales are going to finally come through.
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Chapter 2: Should I pay off my rental property or save for a primary residence?
That's where you start. That right there is the most honest statement. Because that's different than you called in saying, and again, I'm with you, not at you, okay? But that's you calling in saying, I have to tell my husband I don't care about his dreams and his whatever. He's got to get another job. That's different than you saying, hey, honey, we're about to face a math problem.
And me, as a stay-at-home mom of six, I'm terrified.
Well, I tried to have that conversation and he's like, well, maybe I want to be a teacher, which means he has to go back to school. And then if you look at the salary that it's starting pay for teachers in our state.
Yeah, you know, y'all make like this sounds awful, but y'all made choices to have six to create six humans. So that means you can't afford to make $42,000. That's that's the trend.
Yeah.
And or live in Portland, right?
Right. Well, we live outside of Portland in a much cheaper area, but he thinks we can make up the gaps with the side hustles, which we've been doing.
But y'all aren't going to be able to do side hustles anymore. You're out.
Yeah, and the side hustle world is for a season. It's not ongoing to support a seven-person family.
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Chapter 3: How can I manage family expectations regarding inheritance?
And how much will you guys be making combined household income after you get married?
The problem is I work in sales. Pretty much all of my income comes from commission. So that's Kind of speculative, but I'm going to say somewhere in between $120,000 to $140,000.
Okay, and what will she be doing?
Good question.
You should find out.
You're getting married in 56 days, dude.
Is she going to school or will she be working?
She was going to school. She stopped because she realized the degree she was going to was probably not worth it, but she is working right now.
Okay, how much do you think she'll bring home? probably around 40,000 okay okay so you guys are at 180 um oh I meant I meant 140 combined I'm sorry oh okay okay together you guys we okay I'm sorry I got you um and the rental property how tell me that about that was that you and your dad together doing that or was that is that just under your name
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Chapter 4: How do I explain financial priorities to my teenager?
Well done, Dan. Congratulations.
Trying to spread the word, you know. But so I'm working on brevity here. So So there's four of us kids. I'm the oldest of 68. The youngest is, uh, 60, 61. And, uh, number two is my sister and she's, um, the administrator, the trustee of the estate. And so my mother's 95 and when she passes, we all received between a half a million and 750,000. Um, so yeah, you know, life changing money. Um,
You know, my wife and I are both debt-free. I mean, literally no debt. Dave would laugh if he heard that my truck has 300,000 miles on it. You'd tell him to go get a new truck, Dan.
He would. Go get a new truck, Dan.
I'm telling you, go get a new truck, Dan.
Thanks, guys. I'm kind of in love with this thing. So the problem is the two youngest ones have asked my mother for money before over the years. Um, both a little bit over a hundred thousand and, um, one, one of, uh, one of them, number three has a $900 car payment, $2,400 a month apartment payment, about 160,000 credit card debt.
And even though she makes six figures cannot, you know, emotionally control her spending. Um, the youngest one, we inherited about a hundred grand from my father some 10 years ago. And, I said, if you blow this money, I'm going to punch you in the nose. And six months later, he had a quad and a snowmobile and didn't pay off his house. You know, he's been bankrupt. And, um, did you hit him?
Just kidding. No, no, you know, the problem is, is, um, I'm not too worried about it. My, my, I've been working since I was 13 and my sister's a hard worker too. But, um, the problem is, is, she's worried they're going to come to the door, you know, when they're 70 or 80 begging for money, you have money, I have no money.
And we're trying to figure out how to handle the coming, basically tsunami of what they're going to bring to the table. Now the trust comes in two parts, the one trust, everybody gets an equal share right away. And then the second trust, um, my sister and I both get our share, but, Those two, my mother broke it up so that it's like five years apart, something like that.
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Chapter 5: What is the impact of sponsors on The Ramsey Show?
But here's what's hard. If you live like that right now, what you're doing is you're not mitigating the guilt in the future. You're just spoiling today.
You're absolutely right.
And so I'm going to choose for peace and joy and warmth and laughter in the right now, and I'm going to be very clear about my boundaries moving forward.
right and so the the harder conversation will be sitting down with your brother and sister who are adults who could have never like they could care less what you have to teach them they think like i'm sure they're when they get coffee together they're talking about you got you and your sister all they do is work and they never whatever is is saying hey here's the distribution um there there's don't come for up to us
Right. Or you and your wife.
And you're saying just saying it out loud when you guys make sure you put.
Yes. I heard Becky Kennedy say this. Dr. Kennedy say this. And I loved it. She said a boundary is something that requires nothing from anyone else other than you.
Wow. That is awesome.
So you're going to set this boundary. We're all going to be clear. There's no more money after this. And if you as a loving brother want to say, I'll hook you up with the Ramsey solutions. I'll hook you up with the plan that set me and my wife free. Y'all want that? Great. I'm not going to preach to you. I need everybody. It needs to be on record that y'all are getting a check for $750,000.
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