Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart

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The Ramsey Show 1h 16m 15 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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Dave Ramsey 0:28
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work. that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour at 888-825-5225. Multiple number one bestselling author and Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz, my daughter, is my co-host today. Open phones here. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. Victor is with us in Irvine, California. Hi, Victor. How are you?
Victor 1:03
I'm doing well, Dave. How are you?
Dave Ramsey 1:05
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Victor 1:09
Hi. So three years ago, me and my wife was buying a life insurance policy from our father-in-law. We both make a pretty good income, but essentially we're like three years in now and I've just I know we've maxed out our 401k, our Roth IRA, but I was talking to my father-in-law and he essentially said it's like a good tax-free investment that we can do with our custom whole life policy. Um, and since we already maxed out our 401k and our rock IRA, and, um, we even like bought a house recently. We're just not sure if that's like the best way moving forward to put our money in at least with our extra money. So that's our situation.
Dave Ramsey 1:59
Um, Victor, you've been married three years, you said?
Victor 2:05
Yeah, we've been married for about three years. Yeah.
Dave Ramsey 2:08
Okay. All right. So you're in your mid twenties, I assume.
Victor 2:13
Yeah. Me and my wife are both 27. So we got married around 24.
Dave Ramsey 2:19
Well, I have to give you full disclosure here, okay? I have been trashing whole life policies and people who sell them for 30 years as being one of the biggest possible ripoffs in the financial world. So if you say Dave Ramsey to your father-in-law, his face is going to melt off.
Victor 2:43
I know. I was afraid of bringing that up to him.
Dave Ramsey 2:46
I would not suggest you do that. Uncle Dave would suggest you don't do that to yourself with your father-in-law. I don't think there's anything to be gained by that. So basically, you have a guy in your life that loves you. Right. Right. To keep them happy. I would not do that. Okay? But I would also not recommend that you damage your relationship with your wife's father. I would want you to be kind and honoring and really avoid an argument if I were you. Okay? I have family members, for instance, that I've been married for 41 years, Victor. I have family members that vote the wrong way. Oh, my gosh. They don't know how to vote. They picked the wrong party, and they're just dumb about it. And I love them anyway. I love them anyway.
We have family members that have credit cards and that.
Dave Ramsey 4:16
And I don't create at Thanksgiving a political argument with people who aren't going to change their minds.
Rachel Cruze 4:24
Or a financial argument.
Dave Ramsey 4:25
That I love. Or a financial argument. I don't give financial advice to people who don't ask for it, and that includes everyone, family included. People who ask, I will tell you.
So for Victor, talk through why you don't like whole life insurance as an investment.
Dave Ramsey 4:41
Well, he knows. He already knows why I don't like it, don't you?
Victor 4:46
I know that you mentioned that the return over 30 years is minimal.
Dave Ramsey 4:52
Yeah, it is. And when you die, the money that you have in there is gone. They only pay the face amount. And there is no such thing as a whole life policy that is tax-free if it actually got a rate of return. It is tax-free because the only way you can get your money out is to borrow your own money. And, honey, if you go over at the bank and borrow money, they don't charge you taxes on that either. So, of course, it's tax-free. But it is not a good tax dodge. It is not a good investment. It is not a good product. But now you can research a bazillion things that we have said about that, and then you've still got this deep, horrible relational problem. And I would recommend that you just be kind.
Dave Ramsey 5:45
If you decide to not use this product, which of course is my recommendation, I would recommend you don't get into an argument with your father-in-law about it. I would just say, you know, we've looked at it, and for us, we've decided to go another direction, and we sure hope, adult to adult, that you'll just respect our decision, even though you think I'm wrong, and I want you to respect my decision. And so, you know, I have a friend who's so stupid that the other day he leased a car, and he's even dumber than that.

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