You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them
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How do I buy a car during a divorce?
The problem is, I don't know what my soon-to-be ex did with the finances. She split up everything, left me with almost nothing. My lawyer's been trying to work on finding that out, but she's not working with a lawyer. So I just need to know the best way to do this. If we combined everything, we have the money to do that. But she basically has told me to either get a car loan, which I don't like doing because we found I got out of debt. But I just need to know the best way to approach this without having to go out.
How long have you been separated, Nathan?
About five or six months.
And where has your paycheck been going, son?
Oh, I have my own new bank account. Oh, how much is in that? Yeah. Right now, about $2,000 because I'm paying for lawyer fees are really taking a good chunk of my money right now. Okay.
And you're saying that you guys had a combined savings.
We probably had a combined about $50,000 cash available.
Okay.
And I don't know what he's done with that.
So the first thing you do is you call your lawyer. And you say, I need half of our savings account transferred to me by the end of the day. This is asinine. I want my money now.
Is there a judge involved, Nathan?
Not yet. But the lawyer picks up the phone and calls her lawyer and says, you have 24 hours to transfer $25,000 or we're going to get before a judge.
Now, the problem is she's not working with a lawyer right now.
Good. We're going to go before a judge if you don't listen, lady.
Okay.
Okay. So you've been being real sweet and stand back and trying to let the lawyers do it, and the lawyers aren't doing their job. They're not working.
Yeah, I'm thinking.
You gave him money, and she still sits on your money for six freaking months. Light a fire under some people, buddy. So, yeah, that's... I need a car. I want my $25,000 now. We'll negotiate the rest of it later, but I want my money now. Okay. You hear what I'm doing? Yes, sir. I'm creating urgency with my voice. You've been pushed around, and you're about to push back. Your only other option is take your car, which is a piece of crap, and sell it for whatever, $500 or $700 to the local salvage yard, right? Yes. Yeah, pretty much. And then put $2,000 with that and go get you a $3,000 car to drive until... For six months. Until you light a fire under these people on the other side of this discussion.
Okay.
But this tells you that you've been tolerating this too long.
Yes. Yes, you're right.
Yeah. So the... A friend of mine that does divorce recovery work says that what people have the most trouble with in your situation and you're struggling with it, and it's human, it's not you're a bad guy, but most people forget this. You get all tangled up with the emotions and the grief and the anger and everything else regarding the actual marriage coming to an end. But what in reality is happening is when a divorce occurs, it turns a marriage into a business transaction. Yeah. And if you were in a business partnership and the partnership was closing down, you would not allow your business partner to sit on $50,000 when 25 of it's yours.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
How do I buy a car during a divorce?
1:14–8:03
2
What should I do if I have $1.8 million in debt?
8:03–13:01
3
How can couples align on financial spending?
13:01–25:29
4
What are the implications of tariffs on pricing?
25:29–35:13
5
How do I manage debt without sacrificing quality of life?
35:13–37:10
6
What steps should I take if my partner has a spending problem?
37:10–50:43
7
How can I create urgency in financial discussions?
50:43–1:29:03