Billy's Jokes - September 21-25

episode

The Rush Hour with JB & Billy 7 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed just now

▲ 0

Transcript

jump: chapters · speakers · find in transcript

Transcript

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

What is the opening advertisement for Triple M’s Rush Hour?

Brent Read 0:00

This is Triple M's rush hour. Thanks to Penrite Oil. 100 Years Aussie. Now proudly wearing the Australian-made green and gold logo. Grab a needle and thread and sew your sides back together. Funny?

Mike Lane 0:14

Horrific.

Brent Read 0:15

It's everybody's joke from this week.

Mike Lane 0:20

Uh right oh Jim. Yes. I've just been to the doctor's cause I've got a blocked ear. Have you? What? The doctor said to me with the doctor. I'm just adding a bit. The doctor said, which year is it? I said it's twenty twenty six, you idiot! See, I like the what better. The what may have worked. That's a bit of p that's a bit of extra. But then the actual one, Rabs, it you know what it deserves. I'm sorry, mate. Oh no, Rabs. That's it.

What funny doctor‑visit story does Jim share about a blocked ear?

Mike Lane 0:53

That would've worked. Which year is it? Twenty twenty six. Yeah. Not funny. I feel blommed. I I liked it. I think you'll um come for Rabs, get into Rabs about that. We'll get some feedback. Yes. I don't think anyone. Herb will have feedback. I disagree with that. Is your name James from Bannock Brown? Because he's ringing. Is that is that your mate? Is that him? But you need oh it might be there is the buddy Crime! Jim, I recently took a poll and found that one hundred per cent of people in the tent were angry when it collapsed. I took a policy. Look at him. He gets so disappointed. I just

Corey (Parks) 1:43

thought

Mike Lane 1:44

I thought grand final week. You'll lift, you'll give us something good.

What poll result does Jim reveal about the tent collapse incident?

Mike Lane 1:49

Right. One more So another one, here we go, another one. Call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat. What? Clawed. That's better. That's better than the first one.

Corey (Parks) 2:02

That might

Mike Lane 2:02

be nearly super. No, no, not super. But it but it is better than the first one. Well you get two for one. There we go, Ton! Fats back, two for one! Well done, fat. Have you got a good fruity for Thursday? No. Come on. Live fruity. Stand build. Oh, I need a good live actually, something about you and your little Dude, let it get luck. Big man, big guts, tiny tang. Non broader, vibration de son voyage. No catchy today.

What is the “lady at the door” joke about the coffee‑vat tragedy?

Mike Lane 2:32

Corey (Parks) 2:33

it's

Mike Lane 2:33

no catchy

Corey (Parks) 2:33

today.

Mike Lane 2:34

No. What happened there? Did someone drop something drop out? Yeah. Got it. Lady told me this one yesterday. Lady told me. She came into my office. Right, Jim. You don't have an office. She so we all sat around with order. She goes, I got a joke, we go, alright oh, I'll just and it actually wasn't bad. So here we go. I don't know what her name was. Do we got her name? No, no. No one knows what you're talking about. Karen. Kim. Kimmy's in that on you, Kimmy from Triple M. Jim knock at the door, Jim. Yes. Lady went to the door, the wife and the police were there.

How does the crew react to the “Rabs” joke and the missing bite marks?

Mike Lane 3:10

They said, Sorry, we have some terrible news. But your husband has fallen into a vat of coffee and has passed away. Oh no, surely not, says the wife. Oh I hope he didn't suffer long in pain. The cop said no no, it was instant. Yeah, right. No, that's not bad. No remote. Tim. It was instant coffee. Unanimous laughs out there. Oh, I did, I heard him laugh. Will's bloody jet lag, he's just coming in from portion. He doesn't know what he's thinking. Rabs! Beers ain't laughing. Nah. What did you think, Rabs? Oh no, he's now starting to eat. Come on, Rabs, let's. Oh no!

Corey (Parks) 3:58

He's just it

Mike Lane 3:59

hasn't got any bite marks in it. He's eaten it whole. Oh and it's come at the bottom.

What punchline does Jim deliver about the delivery fence being scissors?

Mike Lane 4:03

Oh no. Oh no, man! One wait left.

Corey (Parks) 4:10

What is that?

Mike Lane 4:10

No. It's on the bloody buzzer. Like a dumb pee.

Corey (Parks) 4:17

Look at him.

Mike Lane 4:18

Oh no. Look at him. A bunch of good pies. They're really, really good. They are. They're not w not the way you eat them. They're beautiful. Good temperature, Jim. Very important.

Corey (Parks) 4:31

Jim.

Corey (Parks) 4:39

What a pity.

Mike Lane 4:44

Lot of pressure for super. Super, we need super though. It's a big audience fat. Right I know. You ready?

What comparison does Jim make between a violin and a fiddle?

Mike Lane 4:51

Right. Jim, what? What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? What's the difference? Well I've never got never got in trouble having a violin on the bus. Oh no. Yeah. He stuffed up the delivery, but I still don't mind it! Three four!

Corey (Parks) 5:26

Oh yeah, Quem pela venta! Vá, seu pá!

Mike Lane 5:35

What about the delivery fence? Oh no, they're scissors! What is it? The grasshopper! They're stupid! What is it? They're scissors! What are we dealing with? Ever got and kicked off the bus, Jim! Having a bowling Thank you Bill. Thank you everyone!