Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
What's going on, my friends? Welcome back to the Ryan League Podcast, where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. We have kicked off 2026 with this idea of what it looks like to be a better you and me. Week one, we talked about what it would look like for us to be a focused person in 2026.
Your life would be drastically different if over the next 365 days, you really locked in. Then last week, we looked at this idea of a better you and you being a courageous person. What does a courageous you really look like?
Chapter 2: What does it mean to be a better and more honest you?
Today, I want to dive into what it potentially looks like for you and I to be an honest us. A better you is an honest you. And It's interesting. As I was thinking about this episode, I was thinking to myself, you know, I don't know that I've ever met anybody in my life who was 100% honest, like 100%.
And if you're sitting there thinking on your treadmill or commute or in your kitchen doing laundry, wherever you are listening to this podcast, if you're sitting there thinking, well, I'm 100% honest all the time, Well, I would absolutely love to interview your spouse, your coworkers, your kids. I would love to interview your in-laws.
I would love to interview everybody in your life to see if that's actually true. Because let's just be honest about honesty, okay? Now, most of us, I wouldn't say we're liars because I think that's a stretch. But I would say we're not all exactly authentic, okay? Like we tell the truth. Selectively, right? Like we edit, we round up, we round down, we leave details out.
We say I'm fine when we're anything but fine. And look, I've met a few people who pride themselves on quote unquote, keeping it real, right? OK, and, you know, these kinds of people, OK, they they say, I'm just being honest right after they say something wildly unnecessary. OK, I don't think that that's honesty. I think that's just a lack of filters and a long history of.
of uncomfortable family dinners. Now, keeping it 100 does not mean you are keeping it 100% negative all the time. Because sometimes honesty without wisdom is just noise. But the real question that I want to ask us as we are at the very beginning of a year, is what if a better you in 2026 is a truly more genuine, a more honest you?
Not louder, not harsher, not more opinionated, just more real, just more genuine. I was working with a hospital system in the Midwest at the end of last year. Very large organization, complex challenges, real pressure. And the CEO had just been in her role for about, I don't know, six months to a year.
And before I went on stage, I was talking with one of their board members who actually had been in the room during her interview process. And as we were watching the CEO speak to her team, I leaned over to this board member. I said, she's a remarkable leader. Just everything she was saying on stage just really stood out to me just from a leadership standpoint.
And the board member, while we were in the back, she smiled and she looked over at me and she goes, do you want to know what got her the job? And I was like, well, of course I want to know. And she told me about the first moment of her interview. Not her resume, not her strategy, not her vision deck, her first words. She walked into the room.
She looked around and she said, hi, I'm really nervous because I really want you all to like me. Hi, I'm really nervous because I really want you all to like me. That was it. That was the moment. That was the moment that the board knew something that they weren't just getting a capable leader.
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Chapter 3: Why is complete honesty rare among people?
No, they knew something was up. They knew that in that moment, they were getting a human. And in that moment, in that organization's history, That's exactly what they needed. They did not need a superhero. They did not need a performer. They did not need a perfectly polished executive who pretended to have it all together. No, no, no.
They needed someone who was willing to tell the truth about how she felt. And if she could be honest about that moment, she could be honest about a whole bunch of other moments where it really matters. And here's the deal. And I don't think we talk about this enough, but honesty builds trust faster than perfection ever will.
Like, I think we've got this, like, I got to have myself put together because that's what's building trust with my colleagues. And that's what's building trust with our clients and our customers and friends and family. But I think we respect somebody that is refreshingly honest. Vulnerability. It doesn't weaken our credibility. I think it humanizes it.
And maybe, just maybe, for you, a better you this year starts with maybe a very simple question. Are you okay? Are you okay? And here's the hard part. What if you actually answered it honestly, not dramatically? Not with a five-minute trauma dump in a grocery store checkout line. No, no, no. Just honestly.
And maybe that sounds like, hey, honestly, I'm actually not that great right now, but I'm working through it. Maybe it sounds like, hey, I'm exhausted. And if I'm honest, I really don't know why. Maybe it's I'm excited about work, but I'm actually struggling at home.
Maybe you're saying something out loud that says, you know, I don't need advice right now, but I really could use somebody to just listen. You see, I think we could be incredibly honest about our strengths at times. We'll tell you what we're good at all day long. But we're pretty vague when it comes to our fears. We're pretty silent when it comes to our doubts.
We're pretty deflective when it comes to our pain. And others say, might be honest about their struggles, but dishonest about their hopes. They've been disappointed enough times that optimism feels risky. And so there's two sides of the pendulum on this. And then you got some people who can find a way to be honest with everybody except themselves. They know something's off. They can feel it.
But they keep moving because slowing down might force a conversation they've been avoiding. Here's the tension. You can't be honest everywhere. And you shouldn't be. Not every room is safe. Not every relationship has earned that level of access. But the real danger is this. Do you have anywhere that you can be honest? I don't need you to be honest everywhere.
But I do think you got to have a place, a person. Where you can be the real you. You got to have some place where you can have a conversation where you just don't have to perform. Where you don't have to be on. Because I'll just tell you this. Pretending is expensive. It will cost you dearly. It will cost you emotionally, relationally, spiritually. And over time, that bill gets expensive.
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Chapter 4: How does vulnerability build trust in relationships?
Thanks for being a part of the journey and we'll catch you next time.