I used to notice how often an engaged couple would become so focused on getting married -- the wedding -- that they had a hard time focusing on what the process of being married would be. The reason this concerned me is because I know what happens next. And unless they make a shift, their marriage will hit a disconnect event, a moment of hurt. At the other end... when a marriage is hurting and in trouble, I watch as people once again focus on an event or a moment. Perhaps it was that moment when a spouse says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Or perhaps it is an event, like separation or even divorce. Those events and moments hurt. But they provide no path back to a loving and connected marriage. To get there, you need to focus on something else, not the moment or the event. Let's talk about where to shift your focus, and where, so that you can restore your marriage. RELATED RESOURCES: The Save The Marriage System The Importance of Connection 3C's of Restoring Dangers of The Pause Button

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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