How You Deal with Negativity
03 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. ...
The Pause Problem (and Solution)
19 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When did it happen? When did your marriage’s trajectory head in the wrong direction? Probably...
To-Do’s and To-Don’ts of Saving Your Marriage, Pt. 1
12 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You want to save a marriage... but you may not be sure what to do. And I guess it is also a quest...
Distraction or Traction?
05 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What gets in the way of you getting traction in your efforts to save your marriage? These days, t...
The Zombie Marriage
30 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?" Do you find your relationship to be the "walking ...
How to Save Your Marriage When You Hate Your Spouse
22 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A listener had a question... and it isn't the first time I've heard it. How DO you save your marri...
Can AI Save Your Marriage… Or End It??
15 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you an AI user? Do you find yourself chatting with AI about things in your life? How about ...
Myths of Saving Your Marriage
08 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever start on some new habit you heard about, maybe about the best diet or exercise, only to ...
Affairs and Their Aftermath
01 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Question: does an affair cause marital problems or do marital problems cause affairs? Answer: ...
Why You’re Fighting… and What to Do
24 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you found yourself in the middle of an argument, toe-to-toe with your spouse, with that little ...
Feeling Stuck?? No Closer??
17 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when your spouse has shifted back toward you… some… but is still distant? More ...
Getting Better or Getting Bitter
10 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I often watch people move toward one of two possibilities when a marriage is in trouble: Getting B...
Getting Your Spouse to Agree?? Dangerous!
03 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I know. You want to convince your spouse to see things your way. So, you set out to "get" your spo...
The 3 Layers of Connection
20 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Connection is the lifeblood of marriage. In fact, we are wired for deep connection. And while th...
How Steep?
13 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
“How hard is it to save my marriage?” the email started. The writer wanted my opinion on wheth...
Can It Be Saved?? How to know…
06 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Can you save your marriage?? That is, to be honest, probably the biggest "speed bump" for someone...
Having Hope
30 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Your spouse thinks it’s hopeless. You may even be wondering that, too. But is it? Is it hope...
5 Reasons Why Your Plan is Stalled
23 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are your efforts to save your marriage getting stalled? Maybe we should take a look at your plan. ...
Are You Getting Dragged Under??
16 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Every marriage crisis starts as a crisis of an individual. As it expands into the marriage, the qu...
What Makes A Marriage Great?
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What makes a marriage work? What makes a marriage GREAT? Maybe you are trying to save your mar...
Are You Dragging a Spouse to Therapy??
02 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The email said, “I talked my spouse into going to therapy.” Another one asked, “How do I drag ...
The Clarity of a Crisis
25 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Nothing gets your focus and attention like a crisis. But sometimes, that Crisis Clarity isn't so h...
Proving Your Viewpoint (Is Dangerous!)
18 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I can’t count how many times a couple has come to me for “help with our communication skills.”...
Wrong Focus: 3 Places People Focus… and Shouldn’t
11 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
At the beginning of a coaching session, my clients often tell me what they have been focused on in t...
The NMF Path to Failure
04 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The email was pages long, all about the problems in her marriage. Each line was about how her husb...
Dangerous Approaches to Saving Your Marriage
28 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you done an online search for info on how to save your marriage? Were you overwhelmed with th...
Rewiring Your Relationship
14 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Does your brain help or hinder your efforts to save your marriage? If you are like most people, y...
Stuck in Limbo??
07 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel like you are stuck in limbo? That crazy spot where you can’t move forward, but aren’...
Should True Love be Effortless??
30 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Maybe you have heard these lines: "Love should just happen." "This is just too much work." ...
The Problem(s) with Marital Therapy (the Therapist WON’T Tell You)
23 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Let me say it here, in writing: I am NOT opposed to marital therapy. I am quite concerned, howev...
Malice vs. Neglect
16 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Many times, I watch couples caught in a spiral of accusations, each convinced of maliciousness on th...
Forgiveness – NOT a Blank Check
09 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Just to be clear, I am ALL FOR forgiveness. I have talked about on the Save The Marriage Podcast a...
It’s NOT the Event!
02 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I used to notice how often an engaged couple would become so focused on getting married -- the weddi...
Big Mistake #3 People Make
27 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There are lots of mistakes people make in their efforts to save their marriage. This particular m...
Facing the FACTs of Your Crisis
19 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it. Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game. O...
5 Things You Must STOP Doing
12 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I know it hurts. And I know that the pain, the anger, and the frustration can get you to act in wa...
Dealing with Apathy
05 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
So, what DO you do when apathy strikes? It might be YOUR apathy. But more likely, it will be you...
Choosing Your Response
26 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been sucked into a situation or argument, then realized your actions were not what you...
You Have A Choice
19 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
“It’s your choice,” I reassured her. It was a call I picked up between sessions. The perso...
Don’t Fall for Bad Advice
12 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I wish this only happened every now and then. Imagine, for a second, that someone is working on s...
On The Team??
05 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
One more argument. One more struggle. They sat on my couch, facing each other down as opponents ...
2 Big Fears and Insecurities
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Fears. They can certainly derail us humans! But what about relationship fears? Just those basic...
Games Couples Play
22 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Games should be fun. But the games we are talking about today are NOT fun. These are patterns o...
Hot or Cold??
15 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Is your marriage crisis marked by heated arguments or cold distance? Hot or cold? Are they real...
Blame… who’s the problem??
08 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Maybe your spouse has been saying, "This is ALL YOUR FAULT!" Or maybe it is just you... wondering....
Hopeful or Hopeless??
18 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Miranda asked me, “What do I do? My spouse is hopeless that we can save our marriage. I’m losi...
When the Holidays Get Heavy: Marriage Crisis
11 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy. When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to mu...
Did Your Therapist Go Straight To Divorce??
04 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"In our very first session, our therapist told me that we were divorcing and I need to accept it," C...
Don’t tell. Here’s why…
20 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I know. It's tempting. Your marriage is having troubles and you want to talk about it. Maybe y...
3 Ways You May Fail (in saving your marriage)
13 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You want to save your marriage. Right? That is why you are here, right? So, what might get i...
Therapy? Coaching? Alone?? Together??
06 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I had nearly back-to-back discussions with people about coaching and therapy. One wanted to know if ...
Zombie-Infected Marriage?
30 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?" Do you find your relationship to be the "walking ...
5 Steps to Managing Your Emotions
16 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It can be an emotional storm in the middle of a marriage crisis. Sometimes, it seems that every li...
The Safety Zone??
09 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
She started the conversation by telling how she was confused… her spouse had confused her. He sa...
Why You Are Derailed (And What to Do About It)
02 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When a marriage crisis hits, people kick into gear! They dig in and work on their relationship. Ma...
Change: Can You? Can Your Marriage??
25 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is it actually possible for people to change?? For you to change?? For your marriage to change? T...
Starting Point: Me or WE??
18 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do if your spouse decides they need to work on themselves... and then they may (or may n...
Principle: Connect, Don’t Crowd
11 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Connection is so important for a marriage. When connection is cut off, the relationship falters. ...
3 Turning Points To Act On
04 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many times, people contact me to tell me that their marriage is... well... continuing to spiral down...
Get Knocked Down, Get Back Up
28 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You started working on saving your marriage. Good for you! And then, you hit a bump. You get ...
Is Your Spouse Stuck in the Negative?
14 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Several listeners asked why a spouse only remembers the negative, or only dwells on the negative. ...
How To Know If It’s Too Late To Save Your Marriage
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How do you know if it is too late to save your marriage?? That happens to be one of the most comm...
The Path is to WE
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
My approach is the 3C approach to saving your marriage. The 3C's are C-onnect, C-hange, and C-reat...
“Space” vs. Connection
17 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It is such a common demand from a spouse during a marital crisis: “I need space! You just need...
4 Stages of Crisis Awareness
10 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis....
Who’s The Bigger Victim?
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Most people don’t come right out and say it, but they have a sneaking suspicion that they are the ...
“What About ME??” – When YOU Feel Unloved
26 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Let me be the first to say, saving your marriage can be hard on you emotionally! Well, I don't re...
What Makes Marital Therapy Succeed or Fail?? The Factors
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
For many couples in a troubled marriage, their first stop is marital therapy. In fact, for many, it ...
Force Connection??
12 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right? Yes, your marriage is in cr...
“I Can’t”… are you sure??
05 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On a regular basis (meaning, several times each week), I have a discussion with a client that ends i...
What can you do alone?
29 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Can one person save a marriage, even if your spouse doesn’t want it? I do say that my Save The ...
CAUTION: Open Season on Your Marriage
24 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This is a SPECIAL EDITION of the Save The Marriage Podcast! Why? Because we are on the cusp of an...
Waking Up To The Crisis
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis....
Don’t Be a Chaser or a Spacer! (Do This Instead)
15 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There is a better than 80% chance that, at this moment, you are a Chaser. In doing a little inform...
The Path to Intimacy
08 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many people tell me of their desperation to find intimacy -- and their sadness over not having it in...
From Pause Button to Panic Button
02 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You hit the Pause Button on your marriage. I get it. You didn't realize you were doing it, and d...
No, this will NOT fix your marriage! (but it’s the #1 request in therapy)
24 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Yes, this is the #1 thing people request in therapy. And no, fixing it will not fix your marriage. ...
Dealing With an Indifferent Spouse
03 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
For awhile, I have been answering listener-submitted questions, and continue to do so in this episod...
3 Failpoints You Face
27 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Where could your efforts fail? Those are the failpoints. They can trip you up and make you think ...
Milestones and Markers — 500 Episodes!
21 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When I started this podcast over 10 years ago, I wondered how far we would go. Well, here we are on ...
The Trick to Saving Your Marriage
13 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Let's just say that the bumper sticker, "I used to be cool," has nothing to do with me. I was not co...
Facing FACTs
07 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it. Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game. O...
How to Get Help for Your Marriage… and Mistakes To Avoid
28 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Your marriage is in trouble, and you know you need help. But what type of help? And how do you kno...
The Connection Trap
21 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I know. I say it all the time. Connection is crucial -- even critical -- for the health and survival...
The Pause Problem
14 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Pause Button. You didn't know you hit it. But you probably did. "We'll get back to each o...
7 Complicators to Your Efforts to Save Your Marriage
24 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Saving your marriage is important. But not always easy. Isn't that a truth in life, though? What is ...
Dealing with Depression and a Marriage Crisis
17 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many people are struggling with depression. And they find themselves in the midst of a marriage cr...
The Ghosts of Your Relationship Past
20 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year? I read my kids ...
Stuck in the Negative
13 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Several podcast listeners have asked why a spouse only remembers the negative, or only dwells on the...
Dealing with Disrespect and Boundaries
06 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
"A" has been trying to set boundaries with her husband. Trying to get the treatment she deserves. ...
Why You Can’t Force Connection
29 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right? Yes, your marriage is in cr...
Dealing with a Heavy Holiday — in the midst of a marriage crisis
21 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy. When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to mu...
How the Created Past Hurts Your Marriage
15 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sounds so philosophical, doesn't it? Your "created past." What is that? We all do it. We re...
Are Things Improving?? How do you know??
08 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Phil asked, "How do you know you are making progress?" And perhaps fearing that the signs point th...
Take These 3 Steps To Save Your Marriage
30 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You want to save your marriage (or you wouldn't be here, right??). But you may not know what to do. ...
Why Your Spouse Can’t See A Way Forward
12 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We all have limiting beliefs. You... me... and your spouse! I always work to change my limiting ...
The Road to Divorce: 8 Stops
04 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Just to be clear, people don't simply end up divorced. They don't go from a loving, connected marr...
The 7 Stages of Disconnection
27 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The shift from connection to disconnection happens when people (inadvertently) hit the Pause Button ...
Why You Aren’t Getting Started
20 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Many people tell me how they WANT to save their marriage (they really, really do), but they aren't D...
Are You Showing Up??
16 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We all "show ourselves" in our interactions with others. Sometimes, we truly Show Up, bringing our...