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The Save The Marriage Podcast

Language: en-US Society & Culture Education Health & Fitness
Last Checked: 2025-12-07 17:31:40.181754
Showing episodes 1 to 100 of 200 total
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How You Deal with Negativity

03 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It happens.  In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity.  ...

The Pause Problem (and Solution)

19 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When did it happen?  When did your marriage’s trajectory head in the wrong direction? Probably...

To-Do’s and To-Don’ts of Saving Your Marriage, Pt. 1

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You want to save a marriage... but you may not be sure what to do.  And I guess it is also a quest...

Distraction or Traction?

05 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What gets in the way of you getting traction in your efforts to save your marriage? These days, t...

The Zombie Marriage

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?"  Do you find your relationship to be the "walking ...

How to Save Your Marriage When You Hate Your Spouse

22 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A listener had a question... and it isn't the first time I've heard it.  How DO you save your marri...

Can AI Save Your Marriage… Or End It??

15 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you an AI user?  Do you find yourself chatting with AI about things in your life? How about ...

Myths of Saving Your Marriage

08 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever start on some new habit you heard about, maybe about the best diet or exercise, only to ...

Affairs and Their Aftermath

01 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Question:  does an affair cause marital problems or do marital problems cause affairs? Answer:  ...

Why You’re Fighting… and What to Do

24 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you found yourself in the middle of an argument, toe-to-toe with your spouse, with that little ...

Feeling Stuck?? No Closer??

17 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What do you do when your spouse has shifted back toward you… some… but is still distant?  More ...

Getting Better or Getting Bitter

10 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I often watch people move toward one of two possibilities when a marriage is in trouble:  Getting B...

Getting Your Spouse to Agree?? Dangerous!

03 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I know. You want to convince your spouse to see things your way.  So, you set out to "get" your spo...

The 3 Layers of Connection

20 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Connection is the lifeblood of marriage.  In fact, we are wired for deep connection.  And while th...

How Steep?

13 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

“How hard is it to save my marriage?” the email started.  The writer wanted my opinion on wheth...

Can It Be Saved?? How to know…

06 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Can you save your marriage?? That is, to be honest, probably the biggest "speed bump" for someone...

Having Hope

30 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Your spouse thinks it’s hopeless.  You may even be wondering that, too.  But is it?  Is it hope...

5 Reasons Why Your Plan is Stalled

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are your efforts to save your marriage getting stalled?  Maybe we should take a look at your plan. ...

Are You Getting Dragged Under??

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every marriage crisis starts as a crisis of an individual.  As it expands into the marriage, the qu...

What Makes A Marriage Great?

09 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What makes a marriage work? What makes a marriage GREAT? Maybe you are trying to save your mar...

Are You Dragging a Spouse to Therapy??

02 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The email said, “I talked my spouse into going to therapy.” Another one asked, “How do I drag ...

The Clarity of a Crisis

25 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Nothing gets your focus and attention like a crisis.  But sometimes, that Crisis Clarity isn't so h...

Proving Your Viewpoint (Is Dangerous!)

18 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I can’t count how many times a couple has come to me for “help with our communication skills.”...

Wrong Focus: 3 Places People Focus… and Shouldn’t

11 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

At the beginning of a coaching session, my clients often tell me what they have been focused on in t...

The NMF Path to Failure

04 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The email was pages long, all about the problems in her marriage.  Each line was about how her husb...

Dangerous Approaches to Saving Your Marriage

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you done an online search for info on how to save your marriage?  Were you overwhelmed with th...

Rewiring Your Relationship

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Does your brain help or hinder your efforts to save your marriage? If you are like most people, y...

Stuck in Limbo??

07 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you feel like you are stuck in limbo?  That crazy spot where you can’t move forward, but aren’...

Should True Love be Effortless??

30 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Maybe you have heard these lines: "Love should just happen." "This is just too much work." ...

The Problem(s) with Marital Therapy (the Therapist WON’T Tell You)

23 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Let me say it here, in writing:  I am NOT opposed to marital therapy.  I am quite concerned, howev...

Malice vs. Neglect

16 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Many times, I watch couples caught in a spiral of accusations, each convinced of maliciousness on th...

Forgiveness – NOT a Blank Check

09 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Just to be clear, I am ALL FOR forgiveness.  I have talked about on the Save The Marriage Podcast a...

It’s NOT the Event!

02 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I used to notice how often an engaged couple would become so focused on getting married -- the weddi...

Big Mistake #3 People Make

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There are lots of mistakes people make in their efforts to save their marriage.   This particular m...

Facing the FACTs of Your Crisis

19 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it.  Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game.  O...

5 Things You Must STOP Doing

12 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I know it hurts.  And I know that the pain, the anger, and the frustration can get you to act in wa...

Dealing with Apathy

05 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

So, what DO you do when apathy strikes?  It might be YOUR apathy.  But more likely, it will be you...

Choosing Your Response

26 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever been sucked into a situation or argument, then realized your actions were not what you...

You Have A Choice

19 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

“It’s your choice,” I reassured her.  It was a call I picked up between sessions.  The perso...

Don’t Fall for Bad Advice

12 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I wish this only happened every now and then. Imagine, for a second, that someone is working on s...

On The Team??

05 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One more argument.  One more struggle.  They sat on my couch, facing each other down as opponents ...

2 Big Fears and Insecurities

29 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fears. They can certainly derail us humans! But what about relationship fears?  Just those basic...

Games Couples Play

22 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Games should be fun.  But the games we are talking about today are NOT fun. These are patterns o...

Hot or Cold??

15 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Is your marriage crisis marked by heated arguments or cold distance?  Hot or cold? Are they real...

Blame… who’s the problem??

08 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Maybe your spouse has been saying, "This is ALL YOUR FAULT!"  Or maybe it is just you... wondering....

Hopeful or Hopeless??

18 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Miranda asked me, “What do I do?  My spouse is hopeless that we can save our marriage. I’m losi...

When the Holidays Get Heavy: Marriage Crisis

11 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy.  When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to mu...

Did Your Therapist Go Straight To Divorce??

04 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

"In our very first session, our therapist told me that we were divorcing and I need to accept it," C...

Don’t tell. Here’s why…

20 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I know.  It's tempting.  Your marriage is having troubles and you want to talk about it.  Maybe y...

3 Ways You May Fail (in saving your marriage)

13 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You want to save your marriage. Right? That is why you are here, right?  So, what might get i...

Therapy? Coaching? Alone?? Together??

06 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I had nearly back-to-back discussions with people about coaching and therapy. One wanted to know if ...

Zombie-Infected Marriage?

30 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?"  Do you find your relationship to be the "walking ...

5 Steps to Managing Your Emotions

16 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It can be an emotional storm in the middle of a marriage crisis.  Sometimes, it seems that every li...

The Safety Zone??

09 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

She started the conversation by telling how she was confused… her spouse had confused her.  He sa...

Why You Are Derailed (And What to Do About It)

02 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When a marriage crisis hits, people kick into gear!  They dig in and work on their relationship. Ma...

Change: Can You? Can Your Marriage??

25 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is it actually possible for people to change?? For you to change?? For your marriage to change? T...

Starting Point: Me or WE??

18 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do you do if your spouse decides they need to work on themselves... and then they may (or may n...

Principle: Connect, Don’t Crowd

11 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Connection is so important for a marriage.  When connection is cut off, the relationship falters.  ...

3 Turning Points To Act On

04 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Many times, people contact me to tell me that their marriage is... well... continuing to spiral down...

Get Knocked Down, Get Back Up

28 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You started working on saving your marriage.  Good for you! And then, you hit a bump.  You get ...

Is Your Spouse Stuck in the Negative?

14 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Several listeners asked why a spouse only remembers the negative, or only dwells on the negative.  ...

How To Know If It’s Too Late To Save Your Marriage

07 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How do you know if it is too late to save your marriage?? That happens to be one of the most comm...

The Path is to WE

31 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

My approach is the 3C approach to saving your marriage.  The 3C's are C-onnect, C-hange, and C-reat...

“Space” vs. Connection

17 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It is such a common demand from a spouse during a marital crisis:  “I need space!  You just need...

4 Stages of Crisis Awareness

10 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis....

Who’s The Bigger Victim?

03 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Most people don’t come right out and say it, but they have a sneaking suspicion that they are the ...

“What About ME??” – When YOU Feel Unloved

26 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Let me be the first to say, saving your marriage can be hard on you emotionally! Well, I don't re...

What Makes Marital Therapy Succeed or Fail?? The Factors

19 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For many couples in a troubled marriage, their first stop is marital therapy. In fact, for many, it ...

Force Connection??

12 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right?  Yes, your marriage is in cr...

“I Can’t”… are you sure??

05 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On a regular basis (meaning, several times each week), I have a discussion with a client that ends i...

What can you do alone?

29 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Can one person save a marriage, even if your spouse doesn’t want it? I do say that my Save The ...

CAUTION: Open Season on Your Marriage

24 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This is a SPECIAL EDITION of the Save The Marriage Podcast! Why?  Because we are on the cusp of an...

Waking Up To The Crisis

23 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis....

Don’t Be a Chaser or a Spacer! (Do This Instead)

15 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There is a better than 80% chance that, at this moment, you are a Chaser.  In doing a little inform...

The Path to Intimacy

08 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Many people tell me of their desperation to find intimacy -- and their sadness over not having it in...

From Pause Button to Panic Button

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You hit the Pause Button on your marriage.  I get it.  You didn't realize you were doing it, and d...

No, this will NOT fix your marriage! (but it’s the #1 request in therapy)

24 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Yes, this is the #1 thing people request in therapy. And no, fixing it will not fix your marriage. ...

Dealing With an Indifferent Spouse

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For awhile, I have been answering listener-submitted questions, and continue to do so in this episod...

3 Failpoints You Face

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Where could your efforts fail? Those are the failpoints. They can trip you up and make you think ...

Milestones and Markers — 500 Episodes!

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When I started this podcast over 10 years ago, I wondered how far we would go. Well, here we are on ...

The Trick to Saving Your Marriage

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Let's just say that the bumper sticker, "I used to be cool," has nothing to do with me. I was not co...

Facing FACTs

07 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it.  Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game.  O...

How to Get Help for Your Marriage… and Mistakes To Avoid

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Your marriage is in trouble, and you know you need help. But what type of help?  And how do you kno...

The Connection Trap

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I know. I say it all the time. Connection is crucial -- even critical -- for the health and survival...

The Pause Problem

14 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Pause Button.  You didn't know you hit it.  But you probably did. "We'll get back to each o...

7 Complicators to Your Efforts to Save Your Marriage

24 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Saving your marriage is important. But not always easy. Isn't that a truth in life, though? What is ...

Dealing with Depression and a Marriage Crisis

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Many people are struggling with depression.  And they find themselves in the midst of a marriage cr...

The Ghosts of Your Relationship Past

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year?  I read my kids ...

Stuck in the Negative

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Several podcast listeners have asked why a spouse only remembers the negative, or only dwells on the...

Dealing with Disrespect and Boundaries

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

"A" has been trying to set boundaries with her husband.  Trying to get the treatment she deserves. ...

Why You Can’t Force Connection

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right?  Yes, your marriage is in cr...

Dealing with a Heavy Holiday — in the midst of a marriage crisis

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy.  When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to mu...

How the Created Past Hurts Your Marriage

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sounds so philosophical, doesn't it?  Your "created past."  What is that? We all do it.  We re...

Are Things Improving?? How do you know??

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Phil asked, "How do you know you are making progress?"  And perhaps fearing that the signs point th...

Take These 3 Steps To Save Your Marriage

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You want to save your marriage (or you wouldn't be here, right??). But you may not know what to do. ...

Why Your Spouse Can’t See A Way Forward

12 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We all have limiting beliefs.  You... me... and your spouse!  I always work to change my limiting ...

The Road to Divorce: 8 Stops

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Just to be clear, people don't simply end up divorced.  They don't go from a loving, connected marr...

The 7 Stages of Disconnection

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The shift from connection to disconnection happens when people (inadvertently) hit the Pause Button ...

Why You Aren’t Getting Started

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Many people tell me how they WANT to save their marriage (they really, really do), but they aren't D...

Are You Showing Up??

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We all "show ourselves" in our interactions with others.  Sometimes, we truly Show Up, bringing our...

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