When Your Spouse Has Lost Hope
19 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Has your spouse lost hope in your marriage's future? You want a warm and loving relationship, but...
The Perception/Connection Trap
12 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It is not about "communication," no matter what you hear (from friends or a therapist). Most peopl...
Apology ≠ Forgiving
05 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We all have hurts from close relationships -- and especially in marriages. It is impossible to be ...
The Blame – Shame Trap
28 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever feel like you are dancing with your spouse... and not a fun dance?? Most of the time,...
Derailed? Why and what to do…
31 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When a marriage crisis hits, people kick into gear! They dig in and work on their relationship. Ma...
Saving your marriage… 2 dangerous approaches
17 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I just googled, “how to save your marriage.” There were 607,000,000. Over 1/2 a billion resu...
Changing… and proving it
26 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Things hit a bad spot in your marriage… and your spouse isn’t sure about staying or leaving the ...
Finding the Energy to Continue
12 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
“I’m just out of energy,” she told me, “I don’t think I can even try to save my marriage. ...
“I need space!” — that’s tough!
29 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
So many marital crises start with this phrase, "I'm not happy." In panic mode, a spouse reacts and...
Enemies, Victims, or….
22 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Roles. We all have them. We all play them. Some are "identity roles." They identify us in t...
Dragged Under
15 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Every marriage crisis starts as a crisis of an individual. As it expands into the marriage, the qu...
4 Failing Fears
01 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You've decided to save your marriage. You start the process, maybe even make some progress. Then,...
It Isn’t Just About Romance
15 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Since Valentine's Day is passed and the hearts have come down in the stores (except in the clearance...
Is a Marriage Intensive for You?
08 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Recently, more and more people have been asking about "Marriage Intensives." If you aren't familia...
The Marriage Murdering Myth
01 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
There are lots of myths about marriage. But there is one myth that comes up over and over. In fa...
Sharing Power
18 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a partnership. Right? Right? Well, in any partnership, there has to be a way to make deci...
Helping or Hurting??
04 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You've been working on saving your marriage... and you aren't seeing the traction you want. Or may...
A-ha Moment or Slow Turn-Around?
14 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve been following my 4 C’s to work on the 3 C’s of saving your marriage, right? (Hang wi...
Staying Together for the Wrong Reasons??
07 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I’ve been answering listeners’ questions on the Save The Marriage Podcast. And in this episode...
Your Spouse Isn’t…
30 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Many times, I have someone telling me what their spouse should be. How they should act, what they ...
The Next Phase: Chronic or Thriving?
16 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Has the crisis in your marriage passed… but you aren’t sure where things are now? Well, that wo...
Is It Too Toxic??
09 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You probably know that I'm on the side of your marriage. I'm all about saving a marriage. But doe...
The Dangers of Emotions and Decisions
02 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's a false belief in our culture that we need to "trust our gut" and "follow our emotions." Emot...
Why “Limbo” is a Lie
26 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you feel like you are stuck in limbo? That crazy spot where you can’t move forward, but aren’...
Midlife Marriage Crisis and Connecting
05 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Mid Life Crisis… the butt of many jokes. And a crisis for many marriages! I have seen several ...
Stuck in Questioning??
28 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are you stuck questioning whether your spouse is the RIGHT spouse, whether your love is REAL, whethe...
Mistakes Were Made (Now What?)
21 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I don’t know about you, but I just don’t do things perfectly. I make mistakes. Okay, I’ll a...
Hot & Cold
14 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Hot and cold. That is often what I hear people describe. About their spouses. One minute/hour/...
When to Talk?
07 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve taken steps to save your marriage. And it seems to be working! Things are improving. ...
Taking Back the Hurt
31 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We all do it. We say something in the heat of the moment… and feelings get hurt. Sometimes, tho...
Limiting Beliefs Blocking Your Spouse
04 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We all have limiting beliefs. You... me... and your spouse! I always work to change my limiting ...
You are NOT Enemies!
13 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Roles. We all have them. We all play them. Some are "identity roles." They identify us in the role....
Can a Marriage Turn Around Quickly?
29 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Lots of people have asked me how long it takes for a marriage crisis to turn around... for the marri...
Crisis Clarity
24 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Nothing gets your focus and attention like a crisis. But sometimes, that Crisis Clarity isn't so h...
Crisis vs. Problem
15 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
On a regular basis, people want to tell me about the problem with their marriage. Then, they tell ...
The Dad Edge
04 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Every now and then (well, actually quite frequently), people tell me stories about how parenting did...
Some Truths for Every Couple
13 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Many of my podcast episodes are really aimed at those in the midst of some marriage crisis. Maybe it...
3 Steps to Better Communication
30 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Many couples make the mistake of assuming that their problems are due to poor communication. That is...
How You Show Up
23 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We all "show ourselves" in our interactions with others. Sometimes, we truly Show Up, bringing our b...
5 Factors of Success
16 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I wish I had a crystal ball that would let me successfully determine which marriages could be saved....
Gut Punch Moments
02 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I'll bet you know exactly what I mean by the Gut Punch Moment. It is when your spouse says, "I don...
Combatting Crisis Fatigue
23 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve been doing your best to work on your marriage… to resolve your marriage crisis. Then, y...
Beyond Romance
16 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
For lots of people, this past Monday could not pass fast enough. I heard from a number of people w...
It’s Not About Who Wins
09 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I remember saying to a couple on my couch, both claiming they were doing more and working harder for...
Dragging a Spouse to Therapy…
31 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The email said, “I talked my spouse into going to therapy.” Another one asked, “How do I drag ...
Quit Asking “Why is This Happening?”
25 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
At the beginning of a coaching session, I do a quick “check-in” to see what we need to accomplis...
Discouraged? Here is what to do (5 things)…
19 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Discouraged? You are trying to save your marriage and… you can’t get traction. You move a lit...
2 Actions that Do More Harm than Good
12 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You know that your marriage is in trouble. Your spouse said so. Maybe it was the “things have to c...
“You’ll Never Change!!”
05 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Has your spouse said that to you?: “You’ll NEVER change!" Maybe it was at the end of yet anothe...
A Marriage Crisis and Holiday Season
15 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy. When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to mu...
Is Self-Growth a Threat to Marriage?
08 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"I just outgrew you," he said to her in my office. But as we talked, I was not convinced that he h...
Are You Trying To Earn Love Back?
01 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, people tell me that as they are trying to save their marriage, they actually feel like th...
Gratitude and a Marriage Crisis
24 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Here we are, right at Thanksgiving Day in the United States. The day we are supposed to be filled wi...
“Is This MY Fault??”
17 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Maybe your spouse has been saying, "This is ALL YOUR FAULT!" Or maybe it is just you... wondering......
Why Forgive?
10 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
People hear me talk about forgiving (I wrote a book on it). Then they ask, "why should I have to f...
Can Separation Save (or Cost You) a Marriage?
03 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You want to save your marriage. Your spouse seems to only want to destroy it. That is a pretty c...
Zombie Marriage??
27 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?" Do you find your relationship to be the "walking ...
Your Stamp of Approval
20 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
People are quirky. We all have strange and interesting habits and interests. No two people are a...
Dealing with Negativity
13 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. ...
The Anger/Blame/Shame Dance
06 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever feel like you are dancing with your spouse... and not a fun dance?? Most of the time, c...
Why Your Spouse Doesn’t See A Change
29 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You've been working hard. You've been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yo...
Limiting Beliefs Limiting Your Marriage
22 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It almost seems redundant, doesn't it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something -- sa...
Are You Dissing Your Marriage? 3 Ways….
15 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I am way too uncool to ever use "Diss" in a conversation. That said, I will drop it into a headline...
The Danger of a Shortcut
08 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I admit it. The phone call got under my skin. We were traveling and I answered the call. The ...
Have You Been “Friend Zoned”?
01 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I often get a message that goes something like this, “We have been making progress on our marriage...
Is It Time for a Bootcamp??
04 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I have some friends who have been in different bootcamps this past year. Most are fitness-oriented...
Is It Just Delaying The Inevitable?
28 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I get this question often enough to know that you may be wondering, too. Is it really possible to sa...
4 Reasons Why You Aren’t Saving Your Marriage
21 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
First, let me be clear: if you are actively saving your marriage, working toward a better relation...
Switches or Dials?
14 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
No, this isn't some electrical engineering idea. Instead, it has more to do with human nature. We o...
Too Self-Centered for Your Marriage?
30 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"You are just too selfish and self-centered. That is why we have marriage problems." Have you he...
The Spouse Predicament
23 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's a predicament, isn't it? It would be so much easier to save your marriage... if it weren't fo...
Slow Slide, Then All At Once
16 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I've seen it so many times. A marriage is slowly, slowly, slowly moving apart. Then, suddenly, i...
How to NOT Save Your Marriage
09 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are there things that you do that might KEEP you from saving your marriage? Yes. These are pretty ...
Save The Marriage ARC
02 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Since my book, Thrive Principles, came out, people have asked me why I shifted my focus from saving ...
The Connection Principle
26 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Connection is the lifeblood of any relationship… and especially a marriage. When connection is c...
How to Avoid a Blow-Up
19 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Slowly, slowly... you are making progress! You keep working on turning your marriage around... and...
Your Blame Addiction
12 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you and your spouse addicted to blame? Do you find yourself pointing your finger toward your s...
If THEY Can’t, Who Can?
05 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I was busy working on some projects when a news notification popped up on my tablet: “Bill and M...
“But What If I CAN’T Save It?”
28 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Two phone calls the same day. Both with the same question: "What if I CAN'T save my marriage?" ...
“Can You Fall In Love Again?” – Listener Question
21 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
As often as possible, I like to answer listener submitted questions (you can submit YOUR question by...
How Do You Argue?: 3 Modes That Fail
14 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you find yourself stuck in arguments in your marriage that never get anywhere? Or maybe it is j...
NMF: “Not MY Fault!”
07 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The email was pages long, all about the problems in her marriage. Each line was about how her husb...
Is Your Crisis Hot or Cold?
31 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Is your marriage crisis marked by heated arguments or cold distance? Hot or cold? Are they really...
3 Barriers and Beyond
24 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
For some reason, your spouse just can’t see a way forward. You want things to be better… you w...
Stages of Crisis Awareness
17 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis....
The 80/80 Marriage
10 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
“Marriage should be 50/50,” many a well-intentioned couple told me before they got married. I ...
The 2 Necessary Feelings
03 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Feelings. We all have them. What we feel, and how we make others feel. Sometimes, we have the wro...
Out of Nowhere?
24 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Many times, people tell me that their marriage was doing just fine (well, at least OK), and then it ...
Why Your Spouse Doesn’t Believe You Can Change
17 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You've been working hard to reconnect and change yourself. You're proud of your efforts. But you...
Therapy or Bust!
10 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We had been talking for at least half an hour. I was discussing some thoughts about her marriage p...
Knocked Down, Back Up
03 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You started working on saving your marriage. Good for you! And then, you hit a bump. You get kn...
“No Closer!” — Stuck?
27 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when your spouse has shifted back toward you… some… but is still distant? More ...
“I Want to Save My Marriage” Q & A
20 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In previous podcast episodes, I have answered questions submitted by listeners. In fact, I still d...
From Apology to Reconciling
13 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You have already journeyed to here. Maybe your relationship is hurting and in pain. Maybe your c...
Staying in the Game
06 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You might feel like "tapping out," or forfeiting, just giving up and walking away. It can be frustr...
What’s Your Plan?
30 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We are about to turn the page on the calendar. For me, that means a look forward. What will the ...
Ghosts of Relationship Past
23 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year? I read my kids ...
Caught In A Triangle
16 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Basic geometry, right? The triangle? Just three points and three lines connecting. Simple. A...
“I Saved My Marriage!”
09 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Many times, in the midst of trying to save a marriage, the anxiety and fears can lock you up, overwh...
Rewriting the Past
02 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sounds so philosophical, doesn't it? Your "created past." What is that? We all do it. We reme...