Wildly Successful and Quietly Falling Apart | Joel Kinnaman

episode

Previously titled “Fear, Shame, and the Fight to Get Out of Your Own Way | Joel Kinnaman” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 7, 2026

The School of Greatness 1h 27m 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 4 months ago
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How did Joel Kinnaman's childhood experiences shape his view on success?

Lewis Howes 0:00
I was having a panic attack in front of the whole school. I blacked out on stage. And then I started stumbling on a word, and I was like, I couldn't quite latch on. And then finally, I stood up, and I went like, yes! And then I walked off. The whole school was just sitting watching me like, oh. He's having an emotional breakdown.
Joel Kinnaman 0:24
He is an actor who has starred in some of Hollywood's biggest franchises. But behind the action hero exterior is a man who has had to do the inner work in order to achieve the level of success that he has achieved. We have the inspiring Joel Kinnaman in the house.
Lewis Howes 0:40
I was in the abyss. Something in me is telling me that I can't do this. I can't eat. I'm throwing up and now I'm having like panic attacks. My constitution can't handle this.
Joel Kinnaman 0:51
how have you been able to navigate eating disorder, stage fright, and panic attacks while also being at the top of Hollywood?
Lewis Howes 0:59
So I started thinking about these forces in me, what would provoke them the most? Like, let's go to war.
Joel Kinnaman 1:09
You've been a massive star and you've had an incredible career. And right now you have three different shows on TV. You've got multiple shows and productions. You are one of the most in demand actors out there. But you've also talked about a few different things with me and also publicly. One, an eating disorder that you've had in the past. Yeah. Debilitating stage fright, which I wasn't even aware of that, and panic attacks. Yeah. But you have been able to be so like on top of your game and accomplish and achieve and perform so well under pressure. But how have you been able to navigate eating disorder, stage fright and panic attacks while also being at the top of Hollywood?
Lewis Howes 1:48
Yeah, I think, I mean, a lot of those issues were stuff that I was dealing with earlier on. And it was sort of coming into my own, coming into like adulthood. And I think I was... I'm also sort of still unpacking a little bit of what I was going through. And I mean, I think some of it was like youthful insecurity. Some of it was like a lot of bad habits. I was drinking a lot, doing a lot of drugs. and um and then and then just i hadn't learned how to deal with like the chatter and the negative voices in my mind and how i had you know all these like different conflicting feelings about myself and you know dealing with self-loathing and not letting myself have success, you know, so whenever I went, you know, when whenever I would get close to something that was would potentially be like a big step or or something that anything that was scary, you know, I would have these
Lewis Howes 2:50
voices in my head that would really like trip me up and and and would like speak to me and most harsh way and what would the voices say like you're not you're not deserving of this success or this is too big for you or you're not ready for it or It would just it was kind of just be like chatter and and and it just negative. Yeah. Yeah It's hard to put words on the exact words that it was saying But it was like like negative energy that you know that I would fail that I wouldn't succeed that I'm not worthy And yeah, so I had really bad, like... It actually started earlier, but even before I was acting, it was, I have, and still have like a, it's called pectus excavatum, where I have like a small indentation in my chest.
Lewis Howes 3:37
I used to have like a much bigger indentation in the chest. I did a sort of a corrective surgery when, about 10 years ago. And after that, I just wanted to be, you couldn't catch me with the shirt on after that. When I grew up, like I had this like indentation in my chest. And it was pretty, they grade that like from a one to 10 severity. And I think I had like a seven and a half. So it was pretty.
Joel Kinnaman 4:02
So your chest was like in caves.

What challenges did Joel face with stage fright and performance anxiety?

Lewis Howes 4:03
It was like sunken in and it affected my posture. So I was like forward and inward rotated. And then I think also my shame around it made that, you know, I had like this kind of a posture. And so, and I would, like in a thuggy way. Right, right, right, right. I felt like I was deformed and I was very ashamed of the way, I would never take my shirt off.

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