Chapter 1: What did Tim Dillon discuss at the Netflix Is A Joke Festival?
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Thank you all for coming out to my show at the Netflix is a Joke Festival in Los Angeles at the Wiltern Theater where I interviewed the cast of Selling Sunset dressed as John Wayne Gacy. And it was a great moment for everyone. It was fun. It was a fun show. The women from the show didn't speak that much.
And Jason Oppenheim, who owns the brokerage, to his credit, tried to answer some of the questions. And I like him. At one point I said, are your clients worried about security? Yes. And he said, yes. He goes, in fact, the other day I went to go to a house and they wouldn't even let me in because that's how secure it was. And I went, they wouldn't let you in? And he goes, no, well, they let me in.
I was like, oh, so you just, you lied. You just, you made that up. And he laughed. He goes, yeah. And that's what, that's what a good real estate agent does. A good real estate agent is a liar. Sorry. You want them lying for you, but that's what they do. And I respect that. I respect the profession always have. And they came on the show.
Now, we did a show where it was like a theatrical kind of Broadway show. If you were on math, you know, we interviewed a food delivery robot. We had a choir of people that came out dressed as unhoused people and sang Landslide. We had... You know, we had like a woman come out who pretended to lose her house in the Palisades fire. We had fun.
And we might do more things like that because they're fun. And my costume designer in L.A., she's one of the most talented people. You know, there is a lot of talent here. Not so much on the screen. But behind the scenes, there's a lot of talent. There's still really creative people who love what they do. And this woman is one of them. And she did this photo shoot.
I didn't even know it was happening. They did these professional photos of me dressed up in this John Wayne Gacy kind of drag Joker outfit. that she made, and it was unbelievable. And she brought in all these, you know, really high-level gay makeup artists and photographers. Were they on meth? Who cares? It doesn't matter. They're working. It's a work drug.
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Chapter 2: How is Meta impacting the lives of older generations?
It's a lot of that. But it was a fun thing to do. It was a fun thing to do. Was Netflix thrilled with everything I said on the stage? We don't know. We don't know. I'm sure everyone takes it. Everyone takes criticism in stride. Even Netflix. I've had a relationship with Netflix. But Netflix, like everyone, like myself, has good and bad in them, right? It's complex.
It's not just amazing and great and that's it. We must be introspective and look inside. So I imagine that was the message delivered. I delivered it in a fun kind of theatrical way. I don't think there's any problem there. But it was a fun thing. We'll do more things like that, I think, because it was fun to do something strange and weird.
And it had a lot of moving parts and different components. And, you know, the selling sunset cast, I don't think they knew what was going on. And one of them I asked, you grew up in the UK? And she said, yes, I did. I grew up in Paris. They don't know. I don't know what they really know what's happening. Brie, I liked a lot. And she's one of the OGs and she's still on the show.
And she laughed at every joke and she's Nick Cannon's ex or current. I don't know, whatever. It's not my business, but she was great. And, but there's a lot of the women there you would try to just, you know, they wouldn't really answer a lot of the questions. I asked one woman, I said, do you know any poor people? And she said, no. And I said, that's okay.
That's okay because everyone judges her for that in society, that she doesn't know any poor people. But she probably doesn't like them. And that's her choice. It's hard to meet poor people if you're rich. And no one talks about that, by the way. It's true. It's hard to meet poor people if you're rich. You got to go out of your way to meet a really poor person if you're rich.
Like, I mean, if you're rich, rich. Not if you made money in comedy after being a bum forever like I did. Then a lot of people you know don't have any money. It doesn't matter. But if you're someone that works in real estate and you're hot and you're whatever, you can't just meet a poor person. That's not the way it works.
And then if you meet a poor person, it's weird to bring the poor person around as a rich, hot real estate agent. who sells houses or whatever. I don't know if they actually sell houses either. But it doesn't matter. Does anything matter? I think I said to them, I'm like, you guys don't really sell houses. I mean, they didn't even defend. They didn't even go, no, we sell houses.
I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters if the audience knows they don't sell the houses. I don't think people watch the show because they sell houses. And the audience was so vicious to these people, when they would talk, the audience would go, shut the fuck up. People from the mezzanine, the balcony, would scream at them, shut the fuck up.
Because people now, you know, that show got debuted in 2019. It was just pre-pandemic. That show was from a time when people believed that they could own a house, right? They never believed that they could own some crazy modern mansion in the Hollywood Hills. But they said, I could get a little house, a cabin somewhere. I'm in the game.
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Chapter 3: What are the effects of screen time on young children?
I knew people who flipped NFTs, meaning they bought them and then sold them for more money, and they made like $2 million. And these were inherently worthless pieces of shit. Many of them, you know, there's non-fungible tokens on the blockchain and da-da-da-da-da. It's a way to show ownership. I own this. It's mine. I can prove that I own it.
And a lot of these things were, some of them were artistic, some of them were cool, a lot of them weren't. So the metaverse was an outgrowth of this idea is that, well, you know, we're all eventually just going to inhabit this reality.
And we're going to inhabit this reality because there's a pandemic and the world is gross and it's dangerous and there's riots and there's crime, but not in the metaverse. In the metaverse, it's all good, right? So let's watch a little bit of this thing here. But again, the metaverse was doomed. And maybe in 10 years or sooner, we're all living in the metaverse. But it never caught on.
It just never happened. But here's a little something on that.
Imagine you put on your glasses or headset and you're instantly in your home space. It has parts of your physical home recreated virtually. It has things that are only possible virtually. And it has an incredibly inspiring... By the way, just stop it for a minute.
This freak... This freak... He disturbs me on such a guttural level... And he makes my skin crawl. And no offense, you know me, I don't try to be offensive on the show. There's something about him. Bezos, at least I kind of get, because he's a real psychopath. He's on a big yacht. Him and his wife bought the Met Gala, which a bunch of my comedian friends that tweet all day about how...
You know, white men suck, seem to throw those morals away when it's time to go to the Met Gala that's now owned by a true lunatic, Jeff Bezos, who's on a super yacht. He's a genuine Bond supervillain. But there's something about Bezos I kind of, I don't know if I would say I like it, but there's something honest about Bezos. He's like, I'm on a super yacht.
I got this, my wife, we have a big wedding in Italy. We invite every famous person we know. We are, you know, Bezos seems like a guy, there's maybe some insecurity there. Whatever it is, he desperately wants to prove to you that he's the coolest person that's ever lived. And You know, is that disgusting? Sure. But you know what it is.
And I think now, truly in life, it's not about whether you agree or disagree with someone. I was thinking about this the other day. And it's not about whether you think they're good or bad. Do you know what they are? I think this is becoming the real question and the real concern and the real way to evaluate people. Forget good or bad. Forget the morality. Forget just for a minute.
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Chapter 4: What concerns arise from the use of iPads by babies?
Okay, so, all right, kill this. Just to give you a refresher course of what the metaverse was. Now find this article here where it is, his New York Times article about Facebook dying. Meta dying, which owns Facebook. It's on Trudge. And, you know, I read this article today and they make the point that nothing on the internet dies overnight. Even Yahoo and AOL and things like that.
They still function. They still have people that use them. You know, Facebook. I don't know anyone on Facebook. We can sell a lot of tickets on Facebook. We post probably content from this show on Facebook. Facebook's now settling lawsuits with people because it's now proven that Meta's algorithm has... you know, driven people, I think to kill themselves and stuff.
I think that's what's going on. Like that the algorithm has focused on, on negativity and it has incentivized and encouraged, uh, the type of behavior that has led people to have serious psychological conditions. So medicine, um, They're settling somewhat. Like, we all know someone who's gone insane on social media. We all know that. You all have an aunt.
We've all existed in this world long enough to know someone who has genuinely become a schizophrenic on social media. We know that person. We know someone who at one time was fun and who is now a schizophrenic. And that's sad, and I don't know what can be done about it, but we know that that exists.
So what I was talking about before, in March, the company, Meta, alongside YouTube, lost a bellwether lawsuit alleging that its addictive design choices triggered anxiety, depression, and body image issues in a teenager. Waiting in the wings are over 100,000 similar cases seeking claims in the tens of billions of dollars.
Also, you know, people have talked about foreign influence campaigns using meta, misinformation campaigns using these sites or whatever. So this article in the Times is basically saying that although Meta is still doing very well in the sense that they've made a lot of money, there's a few key markers that show that the company itself is beginning to decline. And that could be irreversible.
And that that era of the internet might be ending. And it will take a while. And one wonders what comes next, but... There's a quote here. There's a grim satisfaction in watching this organization hoist with its own petard. This is the company that profited from trafficking and lies.
It tunes its algorithms to boost hatred and division that stole our data and used it against us that created the culture of toxic memes. Whatever. So this is in the New York Times. And what they're saying here is they go, well, if Facebook dies, maybe things get better. And the New York Times, like, it could be a heartening turn in our national conversation.
And they said TikTok traffics more in inspirational content. I don't know what algorithm on TikTok they're on, by the way. They go, TikTok traffics in more inspirational content? I don't know where they're at. They go, prom videos are currently trending. Uh, okay. Um... But what's interesting about this, to me, like kind of reading this article, is imagining what comes next.
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Chapter 5: How does Tim Dillon view the recent hantavirus outbreak?
Because there was that, and it seems to be like, are young people fighting about politics on the internet? It doesn't seem to be that they are in the way that older people are. That feels to me like something that, as a younger friend of mine who helped out with the show recently said, old heads do.
It doesn't feel like that's a... The people I know who have the most active social media presence are older. And that seems odd. It seems like it should be the other way around. that younger people should be the ones on social media using it for whatever reasons to make change or whatever.
But it seems to be like older people that are bored and all they care about is this and this is now where they live. Like that is their metaverse. Like he has created that. They don't need the goggles. They're already there. They're already there, Mark. You did it. You kind of did it. My aunt's already there. She's locked in. I don't know that she needs to be in a digital world.
You've already created this space where people are able to basically just fight about things that don't really affect them for the rest of their lives until their bodies are riddled with cancer and they die. That's how old people live now.
Old people, however you want to talk about our country, a lot of people that aren't from America are like, they visit here and they go, it's an abomination what you do to your old people. You stick them in homes. You kicked them out of the house. They would never do that in Japan. They go, we all live together. We respect our elders. They die in their beds. We ship them to nursing homes.
There's fight clubs. People pee on them or whatnot. It's bad. But whatever you think about that, old people now, the last years of their life, meaning where they still have before they're completely bedridden and they're going out. Mark Zuckerberg has stolen the last 10 years of your mother's life before she got to mention Alzheimer's. Mark Zuckerberg has stolen that.
The last 10 years of grandma's life, where's grandma? She's on Facebook. She's drunk and she's fighting with someone she's never met. And that's how people get old now. They get old on the internet and they spend their golden years, the last years on this planet where they still have moving legs and they can still walk. They spend it shut in their home on Facebook talking about Iran.
That's what Mark Zuckerberg's created. He's driven your parents insane and he's given them a place where they're incentivized to actually get crazier. And that's the way people get old now. That's part of life. I've always talked about Mint Mobile and I mean it. You got to start saving money right now. The economy is not great.
Cell phone service is a place where you can be more responsible with your money. It is important that you do so. Many of my friends and myself and everyone I know, my family, we've all started. We have Mint Mobile. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. I use it and you should too.
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Chapter 6: What are the risks associated with cruise ships and hantavirus?
It includes a gift box. This is, I mean, this is mother's day. Make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames. My mother has passed, so I can't get her Aura Frames. I just go and I put a filet of fish on her grave. Name number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the gifts moms love by visiting AuraFrames.com.
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I haven't been on Facebook in years. I used to go on it. I'd rate statuses, get likes. I'd try to be funny about shit. I haven't been on it in years. Can you get up the average age of a Facebook user? It might be younger than I think. I don't know. And I don't know how they calculate these averages either. That's not true. This is such a lie.
They go, as of early 2026, the largest demographics of Facebook users globally is 25 to 34 years old. Growing engagement for users 45 to 65. Do you go on Facebook? No. Do you know anyone really engaged on Facebook?
My parents.
That's right. No, it's true. I don't know where they're getting to it, but maybe they're talking about people in India who just got it. I don't know. Yeah, globally. Yeah, whatever. This is, old people are on Facebook. The last years of their life, Mark Zuckerberg has stolen and he's radicalizing them and they can't do anything about it. Their bodies are failing. Their minds are failing.
They're trapped in this prison, this hell. They should be seeing their grandchildren. They should be drinking wine. They should be on a boat. But what they're really doing is spending their life, the last bits of it, the last things that really matter, they're spending it in this hell created by this humanoid freak. That's how their truth has been. So this company, Meta, starting to decline.
I don't shed a tear for this. I don't shed a tear for this. Now, I'm on Instagram. I like Instagram. I'm on social media. It's part of my job. I get it. I'm not, you know, one of these people who claims moral superiority to any of this, but I just look around and notice things. And I look at the people on Facebook. I go, these people are unwell. They're older. They don't know what AI is.
They don't know if something's real or fake. They don't know what they're arguing about. You know, there's clearly an AI video of a crocodile eating someone and they're like, that's why you never, you got to respect animals, the power of an animal. And it's just, they don't know their lives have been stolen from them. It's sad. It's actually sad. They don't understand what happened.
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Chapter 7: What insights does Tim provide about the future of social media?
But this has never really happened before where a playground for your worst ideas and impulses was given to you at the end of your life. When the sharpness of your mind is starting to really wear thin and you don't know what's going on and they give you this playground and go fuck around, have fun, see what happens, learn things. You shouldn't learn things.
The learning should stop at a certain age. Now they're all learning about aliens on Facebook? I heard the government was going to come out and tell everybody there was no God. We were created by aliens. How are they going to take that? You know what I mean? That's what I heard was going to happen. I heard from multiple people. I called a couple of people.
They go, yeah, I think the government is going to come out and tell everyone there's no God. We were created by aliens. All the world religions are fake. And deal with that. Do with that what you will. Who knows? Now, that didn't happen. I think the government's kind of backed off on that. They're like, well, make your own conclusion. Choose your own adventure.
But supposedly, that's what they were going to tell everybody. Like, by the way, it's all fake. There's no God. You were created by aliens. I really believe that's what they were going to say. And they were just going to tell everyone to deal with it. Deal with it.
And they called a bunch of pastors and they were like, hey, by the way, you're going to have to... Your congregation's going to get upset because during the morning press briefing, we're going to announce that there's no God and we're all a creation of aliens. I mean, it's like... I mean... What are we doing to these people at the end of their lives?
Could you think of a worse way to get old than the way you get old now? Is there a worse generation? Is there a worse time? Now, yes, the boomers have all the fucking money. They own these big houses. That's all nice. But they don't have minds anymore. Their minds have disintegrated. They've melted in their heads. I mean, it's unbelievable.
And now at the end of their life, while they're frothing in a Facebook rage, wandering around their house, we tell them, by the way, we don't think there's a God or anything. We were created by aliens. That's the last thing they hear before they collapse on their keyboard as they're responding to their sister that they barely speak to.
Well, actually, the trans issue is more of an issue than you think it is. It's insane. We are destroyed. Now, you might think it's undignified to go to a nursing home and die there, and it is, but my mother was in one of them and died in one of them. This is worse. What we're doing to them now is worse. They're all in big mansions on Facebook, and they're insane. Their kids hate them?
This is worse. Yes, nobody wants to go to fucking Shady Acres or whatever the name of that fucking thing. I think maybe that was from The Sopranos. Nobody wants that. Everybody goes, I don't want to go into a home. I'm completely fine. I want to live on my own. And that was the big discussion. The big discussion was like, well, where do you put old people? You put them in these homes?
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Chapter 8: What conclusions does Tim Dillon draw about society's relationship with technology?
I'm telling you, yes, they're going to be fat because they're on the screens. Hit them with the needle. Oh, my kid's fat because he's on the screen. Well, it's necessary for him to be on the screen because he needs to be literate and he needs to understand the way the internet works. He needs to understand different cultures that arise on the internet. He's got to choose. She's got to choose.
They have to choose what culture they want to take part in on the internet. So they're going to be obese, probably. You hit them with the GLP-1. The GLP-1 will slim them down. The GLP-1 will hold the food in your infant's stomach longer so that your infant is less hungry because soon they will approve GLP-1s for toddlers. So usually here's the way it works.
Your two-year-old eats a chicken nugget and shits it out and wants another chicken nugget. But the GLP-1 will hold the nugget in your two-year-old's stomach longer, and it won't shit. So now we have two things happening that are good. Shitting no longer is a thing with babies. They're not going to be shitting all the time because they're on GLP-1s. They're going to be very constipated.
The food is held in their stomach longer so they're less hungry. Problem number one, shitting babies, solved. Problem number two, obese children, solved. This, and they're going to be sitting there and they're going to be on a screen laughing. Listen, I'm pro-family. I'm pro-children. But here's what's going to happen. You're going to have a fat child, and it's going to sit in a chair like this.
It's going to be on a little cushion, and you're going to put a screen in front of it, and then you are going to shoot it up with a needle of GLP-1. Parents said they're offering screens to their babies and toddlers to help manage the stress of daily life and coping with exhaustion. They mean their stress, right? Not the baby's stress? Yes. Let me read. Let me read that again.
Parents said they're offering screens to their babies and toddlers to help manage the stress of daily life. Well, here's the thing. I'm pro-family. I'm pro-child. I'm pro-civilization. I believe the happiest people truly... are the ones that... You know, the happiest people I've ever met are the ones with children.
That doesn't mean that there are... I'm happy I don't have children, so I'm not saying everyone's whatever. I'm not telling you how to live. That's not the deal. But I'm saying I believe people should have children. I think it's good. You know, most people are not going to get what they want out of their career. Truly. Some of them will. Most don't.
And even the ones that do, there's a certain emptiness to that. Whatever. So I am pro this. But here's the other thing. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard to be a parent. It's hard to be a good parent. So I think what people are doing now is they're giving their children the screens because they don't have the energy, the time.
One parent described their baby screen time as, quote, a survival skill in my house. A government spokesman told Sky News, parents told us they want clear, practical, and nonjudgmental advice on screen news for under fives. And we work hand in hand with them. Because the parents don't want to be judged for it. And I get it. They go, I got my kids on a screen. I give my kid an iPad.
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