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Chapter 1: What is the significance of dating Mr. Perfect vs. Mr. Perfect Liar?
Aina on hyvä hetki kilpailuttaa asuntolaina. Lainan siirtäminen S-Pankkiin voi tuoda sinulle huomattavan säästön vuodessa. Pyydä lainatarjous vaikka heti, se ei sidos sinua vielä mihinkään. Tutustu S-Pankin asuntolainaan osoitteessa spankki.fi kautta asuntolaina. S-Pankki. When we were going on a winter vacation, we were in a sleeping car in the train at night.
And there was also a food truck, which got us all the food and also ice cream. Then I went on an adventure in different cars, and there was another child. It was also going on a winter vacation, and I thought that we would probably have a friend when we both like snowboarding. It was a really nice trip. Freedom travels on rails. VR. On a joint journey. Shopify.
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I'm very stoked to have you. Yeah, the first time you came on here, you flattered me by saying that you used to listen to some Ask Nick episodes. Yeah, I still do. I love that. This is, of all the shows that we do, this is my favorite show. It's like a passion project. I actually feel like we actually help people a lot. Well, you're good at it.
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Chapter 2: How do personal experiences shape dating expectations?
No, it's a fake name. We met on Bumble two months ago. We had the best first date I've ever had. The chemistry, the connection, everything was perfect. On the fifth date, he canceled last minute with a really apologetic, heartfelt response and then said that he would explain the whole situation to me on our next date. He planned the next date.
And I actually kind of forgot about it because we both work weird hour jobs, but he was prioritizing me.
Why did him canceling require a massive explanation as opposed to like, you know, sometimes things come up. Like, was it like last minute or like?
Yeah, it was last minute.
Okay.
It was like two hours before the date. Okay.
What did he say? Do you have that message?
Yeah, I do. So he originally was going to just push it back. And then he goes, I really hate to do this. I am so, so sorry. Can we possibly reschedule our sushi movie night? This is going to take me way longer than I thought. Super annoyed right now. I wanted to let you know, though, so you weren't waiting on me, although I didn't give you much of a notice. I'm very sorry.
I will make it up to you. I promise.
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Chapter 3: What are the signs of effective communication in relationships?
unless you guys are like saying well all right we've been on five dates uh you know you were like i'm not dating anyone else but it doesn't sound like you really communicated that with him you made a choice for yourself you're like i'm not going to date anyone else because i like him but you didn't use that as an opportunity to be like hey just like letting you know i really like where this is going and i'm not really interested in anyone else i'm not you know we don't need to i don't need you to like you know confess your ever dying love to me so i ended up talking to him when
so that was our fifth date. Then we ended up having a sixth date that was, uh, that went well. And so on our seventh date is when he ended up having to change his plan. Um, just because, which was another one that was a little, uh, confusing because he supposedly lives with his parents and he has a dog. Uh, his dog should be with his parents.
but he claimed that he might have to change his plans. My parents didn't tell me we were going, they were going to watch my sister's dog and the dogs don't get along. So they can't watch Shay for me. So basically she has to stay with me. Should we do something else? Maybe with the dogs. So it doesn't make sense because if he's living with his parents and, but because after the date that he,
canceled and i noticed that he was in that other state cold water uh michigan i continued to like kind of keep an eye out and he was in he was there a lot like often and on days that he told me that he like when he was like when we were just texting like we didn't text 24 7 but we'd text like every couple hours so and was your at any point did you respond i thought you lived with your parents
So I ended up saying, oh, I'm a little disappointed. That place looks fun. Can't lie. I'm a little nervous that you're going to cancel like last time because the last time he tried to start like switching up the plans is when he canceled. So we ended up changing the plans to somewhere near us and then keeping his dog with at my place.
And then when he got here is when I was like, I'm a little confused. Like, why can't the dogs like be together? Like, I thought you lived there. And he basically said that it was his dad's fault because his dad agreed to it with his sister. And then him and his mom didn't know about it. So he was just kind of playing it off like, oh, dad made this plan and then didn't communicate it to us.
So I kind of was and got the shit end of the stick.
Part of me feels like there's, like, you admittedly already said you're a little bit anxious and skeptical in relationships. It kind of feels like it's a little back and forth. Like, he's almost afraid to cancel, so maybe he's coming up with some white lies to, like, try to not wind you up. He has to cancel, but he doesn't want to say that it was something stupid.
So he's trying to come up with a good excuse. And then you're questioning his excuses. And I think it could be perpetuating each other a little bit. You are anxious and skeptical. He knows that. So he wants to really make sure that you feel comfortable. And I don't know, maybe it's self-perpetuating in a way. Well, to that point, I'm curious about you. You date, right?
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Chapter 4: How can one identify red flags in a new relationship?
He was getting a little flaky and inconsistent. Again, I think the most important part of this call was the fact that you hooked up with him that night. And I think you need to be mindful of that kind of your subconscious choices. And like, my big thing is like, get yours, you know, have your sex. I'm not here to tell people when to have sex.
I've had one night stands, like I've had meaningless sex. Have some fun, but you got to separate hookup culture and dating culture. And, you know, and I think for men and women and just like, again, like, I don't know how you respond to like sex and being intimate with someone, but I think you should just be honest with yourself about how you do respond and how that affects you emotionally.
And just be careful about that. And again, when you say... And don't have the bar so low with men in the sense that... I know there's a lot of pushy guys out there who after the first date are giving you the moves and you know this guy just wants to fuck. I get that. But just because a guy is being a gentleman... Doesn't make him Prince Charming.
And it doesn't mean he's still not a guy who, if you want to have sex, he's down to have sex with you, right? You know what I'm saying? Because yeah, he sounds like a respectful, decent guy, right? Who probably someday wants to get married and he's well-intentioned, but he's out there dating and he's on the apps and he met you and probably met some other people and he got a little messy.
with how he communicated. And I think your communication could be a lot better. And I think you could be more honest with yourself about what your expectations with dating are. And you mentioned, well, I want a guy to pick me for this and that. We all want to be chosen. I get that. But I strongly believe this.
If you're dating in 2025, especially if you're on the apps, hell, I think you should lie. I'm kind of kidding. But tell a guy you have another date. If you are casually dating and you guys aren't exclusive, do not be afraid to tell a guy that other men are pursuing you. Do not put yourself on the sideline for him. You know? If you want to stop dating someone because you like them, great.
But there's this weird thing that I think women do where they feel like you're letting him know that you're ready to date him and you're ready to be chosen subconsciously if you stop dating other men. And I think men will, if he really likes you, you dating some other guy will fuck him up in the best possible way.
And even if you don't have a date, I wouldn't be afraid to just be like, yeah, I mean, I got a date tonight. And I wouldn't say I have dinner plans. I would say I have a date.
Okay. I was about to say, because I typically do date multiple people at once. It's just I enjoyed him and I didn't have any other pursuers that like I actually wanted to date. So that's kind of where I was at.
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Chapter 5: What advice is given for handling a toxic ex in a new relationship?
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Chapter 6: How can boundaries be set with an ex-partner?
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of co-parenting with a difficult ex?
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What's your name? My name is Summer.
Chapter 8: How can one navigate the complexities of a new relationship with kids involved?
How old are you, Summer? 30. And how can I help? Or how can we help? I have kind of like a large scale kind of thing that I'd love to discuss. And then I have smaller, like more timely things. But to start, I am a, I would say a recovering serial monogamist slash former youth pastor who is exploring her like fuck boy era. Okay. So it is quite the transition that I'm making.
So when you say you're a former serial monogamist, like how many serious relationships did you have in your 20s? Oh, like for my 20s, I was always in serious relationships. So I had a college boyfriend for a year and then I had a four year relationship and then a year and a half and then six months. So there was not a lot of time in between those either.
Okay, and then when you think back and reflect on that decade, so to speak, give or take, what are your personal opinions about that? Good or bad? What are things that you liked about it? What are things that you didn't like about it? And what are things that you learned about yourself in relationships? Oh, that's a great question.
So I think it's interesting looking back at it because I think that I was so like, I think my sense of confidence really came from being in a relationship. Like now that I'm kind of actually experiencing being single, I feel like it's really been
a test to kind of be like okay can I you know go up to a like social gathering and feel like confident without another partner with me yeah just a lot of my sense of worth came from another individual all throughout my 20s I can also put it out there that um my dad passed away when I was 15 so it's very possible that like maybe there's some unresolved daddy issues there uh so maybe I was just trying to like find that kind of love from a partner that's very possible
I also think like I've been a good partner. I do like having a partner. But yeah, I think it was really important for me to finally spend time on my own and actually kind of learn about myself. Okay. And then other than being a fuck boy, as you say, what are some things that you are as an independent woman right now? What are things that you are focusing on? outside of dating?
Yeah, there's a lot. So I'm going back to school right now. I'm working towards a master's in counseling psychology. I still like my passion is youth work, and it always will be. And yeah, so I'm working towards that. So another way to put it as I feel like I've been living my, like, I feel like I lived my 30s and my 20s. And now I kind of feel like I'm living my 20s and my 30s.
So now that I've like, I'm out of this job, I'm like, I want to do fun things like this winter. I'm going to try to work as a snowboard instructor. Like I'm going to try to do serving. Like I'm, I feel like I just want to experience what like a typical, I don't know, person in their twenties experienced. Cause I feel like I didn't do that at all.
I went right into like a serious job, serious relationships. And now I feel like I'm kind of not going backwards, but I mean, I, yeah, I can, we, we very much relate. I was so boring in my twenties. Yeah. No, that's literally how I felt.
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