Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

The Viall Files

E1048 Ask Nick - I Ruined My Perfect Life

15 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 5.924 Unknown

Cold mornings, holiday plans, this is when you need your wardrobe to just work, and that's why we are all about quints.

0

Chapter 2: How can I effectively date multiple people at once?

5.945 - 25.161 Unknown

Nan and I have talked to you about quints, well, all the time now, because we love it, and you should too. Whether it's getting those staples that everyone needs in their wardrobe, or some wonderful, unique pieces like their Mongolian cashmere sweater for... $50 made with Italian wool that looks wonderful. Quince has you covered. Each piece is made with premium materials.

0

25.441 - 43.183 Unknown

Their outerwear lineup is no joke. They got down jackets, wool tops, and leather styles that are built to last. Each piece is made with premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Also, their luggage, incredible.

0

43.163 - 67.888 Unknown

So whether it's some t-shirts or sweatshirts and crewnecks or those wonderful Mangolian cashmere sweaters or some premium jackets, go to Quince this holiday season and your shopping problems will be solved. Also, if you just want to update your wardrobe, Quince has so many wonderful styles and items that you will love and it's built to last at a price you cannot beat.

0

67.868 - 90.332 Unknown

So if you still got some holiday shopping left to do, look no further than Quince. Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash V-I-A-L-L for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash V-I-A-L-L. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash V-I-A-L-L.

0

90.481 - 108.485 Unknown

Article, if you're looking for new furniture this holiday season and you love some mid-century modern coastal and Scandi-inspired pieces, then look no further than Article. They have a great selection of furniture pieces for every room in your house, including the outdoors. With an inventory that can't be beat, so many furniture stores out there will have a backlog.

108.505 - 117.838 Unknown

You'll have to wait months to get the furniture that you want, but not with Article. Most of their pieces are ready to be shipped when you purchase them. Their craftsmanship is unbeatable. Sturdy hardware, made regularly.

117.818 - 147.083 Unknown

really well with prices you can't beat such a great selection we have a lot of article outdoor pieces uh i've had article couches in the past they're wonderful so many great compliments fun colors great designs incredibly comfortable well made again truly great for every room in your house article takes great care in curating its collection focusing solely on high quality meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time every item is chosen for its craftsmanship design and lasting value you can immediately tell the difference in quality when you receive an article piece

147.063 - 160.163 Unknown

It truly is wonderful. We get so many compliments on our article furniture and you will too. So if you are looking to upgrade any room in your house this holiday season, you got to be sure to check out Article. Also, their customer care team makes that experience an unbeatable one.

160.303 - 178.018 Unknown

If you're not absolutely obsessed with your article furniture, their 24-7 customer care team will make sure to return it or exchange it or do whatever they need to do to make you a satisfied customer. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more to claim. Visit article.com slash V-I-A-L-L and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

Chapter 3: What should I do if I feel I've ruined my perfect life?

197.5 - 202.14 Abby

I'm Abby and I'm 36 years old and I'm curious, how do I date like it's 2025?

0

202.281 - 204.39 Unknown

What do you mean by that?

0

204.556 - 225.756 Abby

Well, I have been recently single again, and I'm used to dating as being more of a serial monogamist. So I usually date one person at a time. I usually fall pretty fast and I'm usually just right off to the races. But I'm trying to slow down a little bit, not chase the spark as much and date multiple people at once. And that's getting kind of messy.

0

226.537 - 233.263 Abby

I've actually started to like a couple different men at once. And it feels a little bit icky to me to be dating two people at once.

0

233.446 - 255.264 Unknown

So just hearing your quick synopsis of like your, your dating life, it was, you know, I'm a serial monogamous. I'm used to like being in committed relationships. I fall fast, you know? Yeah. And now I'm trying something different. And the different you're trying is to date multiple people at once. And yeah. Again, I'm oversimplifying, but I'm just using your words.

256.126 - 273.237 Unknown

The only thing that you've done differently is to be open to meeting multiple people at once in the hopes that that would slow you down. But there was no intentionality around slowing down. So all that's happened is now you've fallen for multiple guys quickly.

274.119 - 274.219

Yeah.

274.604 - 296.816 Abby

Yeah, I guess that's true. I mean, I have been trying to be intentionally a little bit slower, so definitely trying to slow down the pace with each of them, keep physical intimacy off the table for longer, pay more attention to how I'm feeling and evaluate that against my values and what I'm actually looking for now. So I've been trying to do that at the same time.

296.856 - 302.704 Abby

It just so happens that I somehow have enjoyed the company of two people at once, which I really wasn't expecting.

Chapter 4: How do I navigate feelings for a guy who might be gay?

353.512 - 370.19 Abby

I don't want to say like masculine, but he's a little bit more take charge, take the lead. I feel like we have better banter. We have more fun together. And then he is also also just like asks a lot of questions, makes me feel really good about myself. So they're similar in that way, but just like very different logistically.

0

370.41 - 371.471 Unknown

What do you mean by logistically?

0

371.912 - 373.133 Abby

I guess just in lifestyle.

0

373.574 - 377.578 Unknown

Okay. How do they compare to your people you've dated in the past?

0

377.558 - 388.304 Abby

That's a good question. The one who's older and a bit more stable is very, very different. He's a lot more stable, a lot more.

388.324 - 393.036 Unknown

Are you stable a lot? Are you attracted to instability?

Chapter 5: What are the signs of a healthy relationship?

393.252 - 409.033 Abby

Yeah, I think that might be something I'm challenged with. I think I really like independent people. And I'm a, I'm someone who likes a lot of adventure in my life and likes to take paths that are like, I'm not a follow the traditional path kind of person necessarily. So yeah.

0

409.013 - 430.77 Abby

And that tends to lead to a lot of guys who are maybe less stable and stable in the traditional sense, just like not following a career ladder, not necessarily intent on marriage and kids. But this guy is more like that. And I think that balance is nice, but maybe a little too far away from what I'm maybe after.

0

430.79 - 433.114 Unknown

What are you looking for in your life at this point?

0

433.415 - 455.868 Abby

I'm looking really for a partner and companionship. I don't have specifics about wanting to get married or have kids. I'd like to have a family presence in my life, but that to me doesn't need to be like the classic nuclear family. So yeah, I'm really more looking for someone who wants to be a partner and build something together.

0

455.969 - 458.933 Abby

But what that looks like is not necessarily like predetermined for me.

459.622 - 467.695 Unknown

And is that how you've always been, or is that based off of how life has worked out for you as an adult?

468.396 - 480.215 Abby

That's how I've always been. I've never been really certain about kids, and I've been an entrepreneur and been kind of not necessarily interested in following standard protocol.

480.876 - 504.516 Unknown

Well, I mean, in terms of answering your immediate question, you know, like... I mean, specifically how to date in 2025 is honestly just requires a lot more, I think, discipline than maybe in the past. Mostly because if you want to, you can have an abundance of options. Like, you know, you kind of pointed out, like I've kind of been more monogamous.

504.596 - 526.322 Unknown

I've decided to open it up a little bit and wouldn't, you know, it, you know. Now you're attracted to, like, you have two things going on, which is fun and certainly might be, like, good practice for you, you know, to kind of compare and contrast, especially if you are dating men who are, like, pretty different, you know, and it's a good way to, like, see the difference.

Chapter 6: How can I communicate better in my relationships?

729.775 - 731.817 Abby

Yeah, it was like early to mid 30s. Okay.

0

733.199 - 749.2 Unknown

Yeah, I mean, that is the, I think, I think you are probably a perfect example of many of us. I mean, I would include myself in this, you know, before I met Natalie. It's just today's dating culture, I think, you know, I guess to go back to your, how you framed your question.

0

749.18 - 769.859 Unknown

I think it's harder to navigate because I think we are allowed and we have the option or at least the perception of, I guess, being really selective and picky and the opportunity to want to have our cake and eat it too. That inherently makes our lives a little bit more complicated, you know, when we get a little more choosier. Also, it's hard to meet a goal without a specific plan.

0

770.92 - 791.202 Unknown

And on some levels, you know, with anything in life, we need to be, the more intentional we are, the better chances that we have at, accomplishing whatever you want to accomplish. You know, like things happen when we make things happen a lot more quickly than when we let things happen. Now, when it comes to dating, you know, we're always like, don't force it. Let it play out, be open.

0

791.983 - 813.089 Unknown

But the reality is, is that, you know, like for example, when I met Natalie, right? Like we've told the story a bunch of different ways, but like, you know, when it got to the point where she was like, you know, like either we're going to do this or we're not, you know, And I finally was just, like, kind of really thinking about, like, you know, my choices in the past.

813.209 - 835.532 Unknown

And, you know, I had similar flings. You know, by similar, I mean, like, over the years, I was pretty much single for a long time, you know. But here or there, I had, you know, a couple situations where I was dating women for a period of time. I liked them. I enjoyed their company. It was nice. I was like, you know, that...

835.512 - 862.955 Unknown

But, like, I just... There was something that stopped me from really moving forward, right? Probably is that, like, again, I was comparing it to, like, all these relationships I had in my 20s, my, you know, probably on some level my time on TV. The feeling of falling in love, I had a hard time replicating that, you know? And so I was just all very... unsure.

863.015 - 881.618 Unknown

And then when it came back to like Natalie, I really had to like consciously make, I had to, I had this thought process of, I had been single for eight years, you know, eight years, you know, it's just like, you know, I'm like, I could have had like three girlfriends or, you know, four girl. I don't know.

881.799 - 896.395 Unknown

I could have had a couple, a few girlfriends that have could have come and gone and I could still be in this place today. And I'm not saying I wish I would have dated any of these women. But my point is, I didn't try with any of them either.

Chapter 7: What should I consider when dating someone younger?

952.091 - 953.537 Unknown

We overthink a lot of things.

0

953.959 - 955.285 Abby

Yeah, this is resonating.

0
0

956.405 - 966.694 Unknown

And so, yeah. And I, listen, I don't want to, I know like, I think it was maybe last week's episode and I talked about, I don't know, someone called about their job and I was like, you know, your profession doesn't make you happy.

0

966.714 - 982.329 Unknown

And I knew it would, but like, and obviously I know my audience and coming from my perspective, I'm not trying to tell people like to get married or have a family or like do the whole, I mean, obviously that's been great for me. My whole point is, is like, listen, no one's meant to be alone. I don't care what your family looks like, right?

982.369 - 1004.9 Unknown

Like just be, have it be friends, people you can invest in. I just think sometimes that like, and I've been you, right? When I met Natalie, I was like, I still wanna have kids, I'm not getting married. And I think it was this, I was so independent and single for so long, I was able to be like, I don't need the traditional shit.

1005.361 - 1025.333 Unknown

And I'm not saying people need it, but I guess my point is when I talk about intentionality and people talk about wanting to have a partner and wanting to have a family, I think in 2025, society has allowed us to like break down some of those traditional norms, right? We don't need them. And I think there's truth. We don't need them. I think there's a lot of ways to do things.

1025.373 - 1046.749 Unknown

And then you can get into the whole like argument about how like silly marriage laws are and how outdated and antiquated they can be and yada, yada, yada. But I guess what I'm saying is there's no clear alternative. What's the alternative? And so when people go into dating life and kind of be like, well, I'm looking for a life partner, but whatever that looks like, I'm fine with.

1046.869 - 1049.854 Unknown

I think people just, you know what I'm saying? It's hard to be intentional.

Chapter 8: How do I handle the emotional fallout from a breakup?

1115.114 - 1139.028 Abby

No, I think that's fair. I think I am trying to find the balance of moving slow enough that I don't overlook red flags while still... choosing someone that I have the right chemistry with. And yeah, I think dating these two guys at the same time has been really challenging for me because I would prefer to just pick one and invest in that one relationship and see where it goes.

0

1139.168 - 1139.889 Unknown

How old are these men?

0

1140.49 - 1141.793 Abby

Late 30s, early 40s.

0

1142.334 - 1147.483 Unknown

What questions are you asking them about their past relationships?

0

1147.919 - 1172.573 Abby

Oh, that's a good question about their past relationships. I think I delved into it more with the slightly older divorced guy because I wanted to understand the divorce and the reasons, what he'd learned from that relationship, what he's looking for differently this time, what he thinks he needs out of a partner in the future and what he wants since he already has done marriage and kids.

1173.334 - 1175.277 Abby

The other guy had been a little bit more

1175.425 - 1198.332 Abby

loose with because he's seen he presents as more of like a free spirit energy so to me i haven't probed as deeply to him on you know what he's looking for or like what he's learned from his past relationships as much okay what's his relationship with his ex-wife uh civil now they share kids so they have to how many kids two have you learned anything from that Yes, I've learned a lot.

1198.873 - 1225.628 Abby

I think he seems to have done a lot of post-divorce soul searching to understand why the relationship devolved and why he's learned a lot from his kids. He's actually sat around being more emotionally present for them because he wasn't necessarily that way for his wife. And so, yeah, I think he's, for me, he has said all of the right things and done all of the right things.

1225.828 - 1242.692 Abby

And I'm just maybe doing what you said around like putting up my own guard around, okay, well, he's already had the marriage. He has kids. He's probably less interested in having more kids if that was something I wanted. He's a lot more buttoned down than I am. So is that the kind of

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.