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Chapter 1: What relationship challenges does the first caller face?
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Chapter 2: How can red flags impact relationship chemistry?
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It's going.
What's your name?
I'm Amy. I'm 39. I'm just having trouble. I have this guy who just makes me feel like endgame.
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Chapter 3: What emotional turmoil arises from infidelity?
And then when I leave his house, he starts to distance again.
Chapter 4: How does the first caller cope with discovering her husband's affair?
And I'm just getting whiplash.
Tell me a little bit about this guy in this relationship.
So it's been going on for like 20 years.
Oh my God.
I met him when I was 17.
How old are you now again?
39.
Is this the only man in your life for this past 20 years or has he been a consistent?
Oh, no.
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Chapter 5: What advice does Nick give about moving on from toxic relationships?
Everything from all those years ago. And then he slowly distances and he quits texting and he leaves me on delivered instead of read.
Okay.
And it's just frustrating that there's no consistency.
Yeah, yeah. I'm assuming over the past 20 years, what's been consistent is his inconsistency.
Yeah.
So it's not like you've known him since you were 17 and you kind of kept in touch and only...
recently did you guys start acknowledging deeper feelings but like this this potential deeper feelings has been a consistent consideration throughout these years with this guy correct yes that's right okay two years ago we actually hung out and spent the night he came over to my place and i just wasn't feeling it i wasn't ready it was summer i was hanging with friends
So now he's back and I'm ready and it feels like he's not. But he says he is.
Have there been other times like this where you felt similar feelings?
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Chapter 6: How can one recognize and break unhealthy relationship patterns?
What does that mean to you?
It just means like this emotional bond is really intense. It's there. And now I just don't know if I should just let it go or let it keep frustrating me because it's consuming my entire mind and giving me anxiety.
Yeah. Well, what do you think?
I don't want to because I really, really, really love him.
And how long?
I mean, 20 years. How long do I keep doing this?
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Chapter 7: What steps can be taken to prioritize self-care after a breakup?
Again, I'm trying to figure out what's the most accurate version of this story. I do think if you've listened to the show, it's just really important. The narrative that we tell ourselves, you know, what is the story in our head that we keep repeating over and over that we believe? And sometimes that story is not that accurate to what the reality is. And sometimes it is.
You know, on one side, you started the call saying, hey, this guy in my life, it's been 20 years. We've been off and on. I hear that. I'm like, oh my God, 20 years. You couldn't, you know, you haven't figured it out yet. You know, like at some point maybe. And then you tell me more of the story. And then it sounds like, okay, well, you've known him. You met him 20 years ago.
But you had his life, you had your life, you've dated some people, and then what, how many years ago you guys reconnected?
Two years ago, spent the night together, and then I'd say five years we hung out.
Okay.
So five years ago, and then two years, and now recently.
So in those five years, was there much contact between high school and five years ago, like those 15 years?
Not a lot, just some phone calls, texts, happy birthdays.
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Chapter 8: How does therapy play a role in healing from past relationships?
Okay. What are you doing? Yeah.
So some. Okay. Yeah. And did you feel those connections? I don't know, when you guys were sending texts, happy birthdays, was there feelings there or was he just like some guy you're like, oh, his friend from high school?
It was always feelings for me.
Okay.
So in hope, because he had a lot of issues back then. I mean, he was into some pretty heavy drugs.
Okay.
Completely sober for over two years. Okay. And it just, I kept distance, but my feelings were always there.
Okay. It feels like you are, you tell yourself, I've been in love with this guy for 20 years.
Okay.
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