E1149 - It's been four years. He never says I love you | Ask Nick
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How can I manage long-distance relationship challenges?
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How's it going?
Good. How are you? Good.
What's your name?
I'm Marie. I'm 30 years old.
What should I do when family visits feel overwhelming?
I wanted to call because I have a situation. Nothing is wrong, but distance is an issue. And you're a great person because you started long distance with you and Natalie. So I met this person. I met this guy on TikTok. Last year, last summer.
How does one meet someone on TikTok?
He talked about my For You page, and I thought he was the most attractive man I've ever met. So, of course, I followed him right away, followed him on Instagram. He followed me back. He ended up messaging me first, and we just hit it off.
All right, all right.
So we first started as just friends and built a good friendship last summer. And then in October decided that we would try to date. However, it was long distance. I'm in Chicago. He's on the East Coast.
It's a quick flight.
Yeah, hour and a half. It's not a bad flight at all, honestly. And so we have been seeing each other since October. We've been dating, and it's been going very well. Every time we see each other, it's... It's been hard because, I mean, just he's a dad and financially, PTO, why is that work for me? Taking time off to purchase flights all the time. Yeah. I mean, we see each other like every six weeks, which is not ideal, honestly.
Yeah, it's definitely tough.
Yeah. Yeah, we do the best we can. But it's been amazing. Every time we're together, it gets better and better every time.
How do I navigate feelings of resentment after having a baby?
It's incredible. I've never met a man like him. However, we're at the point that... distance is becoming too much for him. Like every six weeks is not working out. He wants to see me, you know, every day, every other day, a couple of days a week, if possible, that's just not logical being states away from each other. And so we've come to a point where it's, he's battling if he continues with the distance if it's worth it or if he you know says that distance is too much you'd rather be friends because he just he can't do the distance our time together has been great he's been telling me that he cares so deeply about me I can't wrap my brain around the fact that somebody could maybe want to end it just because of distance
No, every six weeks I get it. So we've talked about trying to accommodate maybe every three weeks or every four weeks at most.
Is it always you flying there?
No, he comes here too. So we've done both. I go there more just because he does have a child, so it's easier for me to take off work, my schedule, than it is for him to, you know, find care for his child or take off of work.
But every six weeks means, are you alternating somewhat?
Yeah. Yeah.
Which means like, that means you guys are only having to visit one another every three months.
That's not crazy. Yeah. So in my head also, I'm thinking, even though he tells me he cares so much and I'm like battling, I feel like there's excuses also. So I don't know what to make of that.
Do you feel like he's pulling away?
Yeah, so actually since I've wrote in, he's made the decision that he thinks it's better off for us to be friends. Oh, okay. So, um, I... I've been, like, trying to convince him and talk him into, well, if you feel like your feelings are what they are, if we both feel that way.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How can I manage long-distance relationship challenges?
0:00–1:27
2
What should I do when family visits feel overwhelming?
1:27–3:02
3
How do I navigate feelings of resentment after having a baby?
3:02–5:06
4
What should I consider if my partner never says 'I love you'?
5:06–7:48
5
How can I communicate my needs in a relationship?
7:48–9:57
6
What steps can I take to improve my relationship dynamics?
9:57–12:28
7
How do I address feelings of being undervalued by my partner?
12:28–14:26
8
What are effective strategies for discussing relationship expectations?
14:26–1:30:43
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from The Viall Files
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