The William Montgomery Show
Happy St. Patrick's Day | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 172
Thu, 20 Mar 2025
William Montgomery is back for more stiff riffs! It’s The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket! 🎯 Join our Patreon and become a Mercenary, Child Soldier, or Bounty Hunter. YOU choose your path, but watch out for the mole! No one escapes the mole! Plus find out when you can watch LIVE / thewilliammontgomeryshow ★ Watch new episodes of The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket on YouTube every Wednesday at 8:30 PM Central William Montgomery 📷 Instagram: / william.f.montgomery1 🥃 Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/williammontgomery 👕 Merch: https://william-montgomery-town.creat... 📧 Email: [email protected] ☎️ Voicemail: 1 (737) 471-1098 Casey Rocket 📷 Instagram: / caseyrocket 🕸️ Website: http://www.CaseyRocketComedy.com 💬 Patreon: / caseyrocket 📽️ YouTube: @CaseyRocket 👕 Merch: https://rawpaw.ink/products/congress-... ★★★ ★ The William Montgomery Show on ALL Major Audio Platforms! ♦ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... ♦ Spotify Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6SJj2pP... ★ For More William Montgomery and Casey Rocket, check out ‘Kill Tony’ live every Monday at The Comedy Mother Ship in Austin TX and on YouTube: @KillTony ★ Original cover art illustration by Ryan J. Ebelt: https://ryanjebelt.com ★ Recorded in Austin Texas at Record ATX. ★ Send your letters & packages to: ♦ P.O. Box 40316 Austin, TX 78704 ★ The William Montgomery Show is produced by William MontgomeryWilliam F Montgomery is an American stand-up comedian. A native of Memphis Tennessee, William now resides in Austin, Texas. Under the tutelage of a top young rising comedian, Tony Hinchcliffe, & Brian ‘The Podfather’ Redban, William has become a fan favorite & the longest serving Kill Tony Regular. William has performed in front of comedy icons such as Joe Rogan, Whitney Cummings, Russell Peters, Tiffany Haddish, Doug Stanhope, Tim Dillon, Doug Benson, Donnell Rawlings, Jeff Ross, Dane Cook, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, Ron White, Ari Shaffir, Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J Gomez, Dan Soder, Jim Gaffigan, Andrew Santino, Dom Irrera, Steve Simone, Brian Holtzman, Sal Vulcano, Ian Edwards, Greg Fitzsimmons, Shane Gillis, Kyle Dunnigan, Ms. Pat, Josh Potter, Mark Normand, Ryan Sickler, Eddie Pepitone, Josh Wolf, Moshe Kasher, Bonnie McFarlane, Steve Lee, Adam Ray, Andrew Shultz, Pauly Shore, Bob Saget, Michael Rapaport & Don Barris. Montgomery has garnered many monikers over the years: The Big Red Machine, The Vanilla Gorilla, The Memphis Madman, The Tennessee Tickler, The Strawberry Twist & The Raisin-Bread Kid. William regularly opens for Joe Rogan in the Austin area. Along with David Lucas, William has previously hosted ‘Brothers in Cursive’ & ‘Are We Really Brothers’. William has appeared on podcast such as ‘Jeremiah Wonders with Jeremiah Watkins’, ‘Unlicensed Therapy with Ari Mannis’, ‘Dead Air with Brian Holtzman’, ‘Shenk with Sara Weinshenk’ & ‘The Fat Pessimist with David Lucas’.
Chapter 1: What is St. Patrick's Day?
Recorded live in Austin, Texas, USA. It's the William Montgomery Show. Starring William Montgomery and the devious Casey Rockett. With the Tony Chin Orchestra. The William Montgomery Jr. Dancers. As always, William is joined by the lovely Erica. I'm Casey Rockett. And now here he is, the big red machine, the Memphis Strangler, William Montgomery. It's St. Pepe's Day.
Yeah, yeah, it's St. Pepe's Day. You've got to take it easy. Are you going to debrief us or not? You said we're live. What's going on? Bring us up to speed, G. Yeah, it is St.
Patrick's Day. It's the 217th annual St. Patrick's Day. Yes. It's the 217th one? I think so. I have to look that up.
You would be old as hell.
Yeah, I know. St. Patrick. You guys got the memo, no wearing green in front of the green screen. That's a good call.
Yep, we couldn't wear green today, but Casey was prepared. Love and peace. Casey was for sure prepared, though. Yeah, William said, I see you're not wearing green. I said, you sure about that, Hot Shot?
Lucky charms. This is a get-out-of-jail-free card for any pinching or kissing that might be happening.
And people forget about that. They only think about the pinching. But today's a day you can totally, if somebody's not wearing green, you can kiss them on the face, on the mouth. Only if you're hot. So keep that in mind. If somebody pinches you, they don't think you're hot.
If you're kissable, you're getting kissed.
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Chapter 2: What are the traditions of St. Patrick's Day?
Zero dark 30 over here. Yikeroo. Yeah, 0 for 30. That's his 30 for 30. 0 for 30.
The streak. Unbroken and unbeaten. Yeah.
Are y'all getting the smooches?
Oh, my God.
I got to get a girl with promise rings soon. Are you going to? Have you really been thinking about it? Are you going to? Hopefully. Well, I think I've said this before, but I'm trying to have a kid save my life. I need to have a son save my shit soon. And what, again, what are we thinking?
Are we thinking like literally like the lost city of Z, like your son saving you in the jungle or just saving you like emotionally? Saving me emotionally, like saving me where I look at that kid.
I look, you know, they say it all changes when you look at your newborn baby face. Yeah. Yeah. I want to look at my son and go, you know what? I'm responsible for something bigger than myself now.
I can't be running around. Yeah. I got this little rug rat that I got to start caring for, taking care of. This little knuckle dragger. Yeah, God, babies are so dumb, but I guess they just get smarter. Well, you have to teach them everything, right? You would go, cup. This is a cup. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you show them a cup. I guess that's how you teach a kid how to talk.
Like, Grant, you have two daughters. How do you, is that what you do? Yeah. You go, this is a plate.
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Chapter 3: How to prepare for fatherhood?
Maybe we mail you something. Maybe we mail you something. Give the feds a tip.
Yeah. How would you deal with that one? OK, so don't worry that I wear Florida Gators stuff. OK, don't worry that in my heart yesterday when Florida beat Tennessee in the SEC championship, I felt good. OK, whatever. I felt good. I did feel bad for Tennessee's old coach, Mr. Barnes. I felt a little sad for him. I genuinely did. But I was happy the Gators won. That's OK. That's okay.
We contain dualities, and I think for both your teams to be having a pretty dang good season is a big victory in and of itself.
Yeah, for sure, dude, who's saying in the comments, that's what's up, okay? Don't even worry about it. St. Paddy's Day, we're having fun today. Grant, fuck that. Get that out of here now. Yeah, that's like a weird, that's like a scary-ass St. Patrick's Day picture. That's like Carcosa. That's like Voodon. I don't like that shit. That's like the Yellow King. Damn. I was about to say, what is that?
That's better? Fucking Yellow King. Damn.
Talking about she met a king. Talking about she's going to become a nun.
Fuck that. GG. Yeah, fuck that. Is this a cuter one over here? Yeah, married a king. Hold on. And it doesn't make any sense when she says shit like that. You could marry a king, but you're going to become a nun. It's like, bitch, get your head on straight. What are you, high? Talking about she can duck hunt with a rake. High. Yeah, it's like, what?
You're going to be carrying around a rake as a nun? Bitch, I don't think so.
I fucking hate that shit. That one in the far right, I don't even know what you looked up to find that, but I never want to see it again.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of raising kids?
You guys are pretty good dudes. We're trying, dude. It's fucking St. Paddy's Day. The freaking river is green up in Chicago probably right now. I want to take a red line. The red line up there? Yeah. We could after this, hypothetically. I'd love that. Grant, I got to be honest. These sound like shit.
Put me back on the other ones. It sounds like I'm listening to a tin can and a string right now.
You want to go back?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I fucking blew it. I could have been somebody else.
Welcome to my world. I'm now used to it. Now I'm used to how you're hearing it. I swear to God. So it always sounds like this to you? It must. Hold on. Let me hear it. Yeah, hear it. It's probably the same.
There's no way.
Does it sound like that to you? Does it sound weird?
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