Chapter 1: Why is it important to communicate your feelings honestly?
I just wish she told me she wasn't into me. That's all. And I wish she spared me the time that I spent trying to be that person for her. I won't get that time back and it would have been nice to just know that it was all for nothing. But maybe it wasn't all for nothing because I did learn eventually that I didn't want her or a relationship like hers that she had with me.
And I vowed to never lead somebody on in that way until I did eventually. because it was all I knew how to do. That's all the love I was shown, was somebody just kind of playing with my emotions and then being like, oh, I'm done. Don't lead people on. Respect people's time. And if you do not like them and you like the attention, I really want you to look inward and ask why that is.
Because if somebody has led you on, you know the pain. You know the feeling. You know the agony. The waiting.
Chapter 2: What are the consequences of leading someone on in a relationship?
The patience you have to have for something that will never come. And that is so frustrating. And so disappointing. Getting a text saying I'm going back to my boyfriend after I spent months trying... I should have known. Yes, I agree. That was entirely me. But it's so painful.
If you end up leading somebody on, it might happen. Don't do it again.
Just be honest. Tell somebody up front that you don't see a romantic partnership with them. I know you might be afraid that that's going to ruin your friendship, but what if your friendship needs to be ruined temporarily so you can rekindle and you can have something even stronger?
Because this idea that, well, I don't want to ruin our friendship, you are going to destroy the other person by your lack of empathy. You will, because I've done it.
Chapter 3: How can past experiences shape our expectations in relationships?
I've played around, and I've acted oblivious and naive, and that... doesn't hurt in the moment but when somebody tells you to your face how much you have made them not believe in love or have made them reconsider ever finding a partner then it'll kind of hit it'll kind of be like oh maybe maybe that wasn't the meta maybe i shouldn't have done that I don't lead people on anymore.
It's not meant to be. It's not meant to be. I'm not perfect at it. I struggle with it too. I struggle with the honesty of being like, how do I break this in the right way? How do I tell somebody how I feel when it's, I know it's going to be weird and I know it's going to be
awkward but I'd rather go through that than have them just like dance around for me you know they're like uh you know that Honolulu bobblehead uh like the the lady that kind of dances it's like that's what they're doing it's just entertainment but it's entertainment at the expense of somebody's life and emotions and that's the worst thing
Think of all the times that somebody told you what they thought you wanted to hear and not what you needed to hear. The times that they told you, you know what? There's a chance. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but you know what? I might be good in a couple of weeks.
Chapter 4: What should you consider when deciding if a relationship is worth pursuing?
I might be good in a couple of months. And then it's a couple of years. You spend your entire high school years Waiting for your turn, waiting for your chance that will never come. And there's another thing too of just like being too respectful and it's going to make things weird. Make things weird. You deserve to know. You deserve to make things weird.
What you don't deserve is have somebody have the keys and jingle them around and be like, oh, you want a relationship? They're playing with you in broad daylight. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. And I just wish that I could have gotten that time back pursuing somebody that mattered. That's all. I just wish that I could have spent those hours in their bedroom.
Chapter 5: How does self-worth influence our relationship choices?
hearing about them complain about their partner at the time that I was competing with on a date on a movie theater, paying for somebody's popcorn, feeling the butterflies of excitement instead of the butterflies of anxiety. If your partner or the person that you think in your mind you've convinced is going to be your partner makes you unbelievably anxious, is that really a relationship you want?
Is it? You might think that's love, but that's not how love talks. Love is not going to punish you for pursuing it. Love is not going to make you bend over backwards and change everything about yourself just so you get seen a little bit more and you seem a little bit taller. That's not how this works. It should not be a survival to get another person to accept you. It should just be as it is.
But a lot of us continue to chase. And a lot of us continue to go into things that are not good for us because we don't know any better. And because part of it is we don't think we deserve any better. But you do. And just because it hasn't happened to you yet doesn't mean it won't. Relationships are a beautiful thing.
Chapter 6: What does it mean to truly invest time in meaningful relationships?
And sometimes we have to fumble, go through so many terrible moments to get to something that matters and is beautiful and makes us feel special. And it might take a while. You probably won't find that person in high school. If you do, that's great. You probably won't find that person in college. If you do, that's a bonus.
You might spend a good portion of your young adulthood or your adulthood becoming the person that is ready to accept somebody who will be good for you. But that doesn't start until you cut out the chase. And you cut out trying to get people to like you back that will never accept you for you.
And I think if you are the person that is being played with, if you are the person that is playing with others, drop the controllers. Stop. The game is over. Don't rage quit it. But just look at it and accept that you're no longer going to do this because you don't deserve to do this. You don't.
Chapter 7: How can we learn to prioritize our emotional well-being in relationships?
I want the best for you, Zerky Show. And your life is something you won't get back. So spend it on people that give you energy. Spend it on people that you genuinely want to be with and that inspire you. And spend it on people who love you for you. Today's episode of The Zerky Show was filmed in the beautiful Colorado mountains in Cripple Creek.
If you're trying something new, just know that I believe in you. It's The Zerky Show everywhere all across the globe. You already know the whole shebang. I am sending you all lots of love and peace.