your parents aren't living your life
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What if my parents' opinions are holding me back?
What if your parents' opinion of you is actually a really bad thing and it's holding you back and it's making your life way more miserable than it needs to be? And instead of you being able to spread your wings like a golden eagle from Dutch Bros, you instead feel like you are a failure. Even though you haven't even lived most of your life, you're young, you're ambitious, but you have convinced and drilled into your mind that you will never be as perfect as your parents want you to be. What do you do? Well, their opinion will always stay the same. No matter what happens, I want you to realize that you will not be able to change your parents' mind if they have their mind already made up about who you need to be, what you need to do, how you need to live your life, what job you need to have, what school you need to go to.
That won't change. Now, I understand that parental approval is very important. And for a lot of us, we spend our entire life chasing after our dad just giving us a pat on the back and saying, hey, good job, man. You did good. But if you're not going to receive that by doing the things that you genuinely want to do for yourself, what is the point in bending over backwards for your family? And it's hard because for some of us, it's in our... It's just in our culture that our elders, our family, they have priority in terms of our life, like our own life. They are the ones that dictate the choices, that tell us what med school we need to go to, even who we need to elope with. But I just want you to understand that this will hold you back.
I spent a lot of my adolescent life chasing after what I thought other people wanted of me, especially my parents. Even though my parents were never that pressy in terms of, you need to get this kind of job, you need to go to this kind of school. Like, they were very, very supportive of me trying different things and just going out and giving it a shot. I, for some reason, had drilled it into my mind that I wanted to be successful for them. Now, in terms of what successful means for me, it was retiring my parents, buying them an awesome, you know, car and like being able to put the tap to pay when we would go out to dinner, you know, and just like I'm rolling in the dough. But my parents don't care about any of that.
They want me to be happy. And I have that luxury. I'm very blessed for that. You might not have that same reality. Maybe your parents are putting a lot of pressure on you. Maybe you're an immigrant child, you're the golden child, and your parents remind you how much they sacrificed to come to this country, the best country on earth, and make something happen. And you're realizing as a young adult that a lot of the dreams you were promised as a young kid, they've been stripped away from all of us and groceries are $200 a week. It's a weird reality because even though we are experiencing one thing, we are having trouble finding someone to date in our hometown. That doesn't just want to have a casual thing.
We are having a hard time finding a job, which is for a lot of us the reason we go to school. And our parents are still chirping, saying, well, you have to be successful, man. What's wrong with you? They will never understand you. I'm sorry. Your parents will just never understand you.
How can I find my own path despite parental expectations?
And I think that you have to realize that your relationship is that of God. You're their kid. And that's it. And it's okay. You don't need to be their best friend. You don't need to be somebody that has something to prove to them all the time. You can be kind. You can be courteous. But if your parents are getting in the way of you growing as a human being, understand where the boundary is set. Because if you will spend the rest of your life trying to appease your parents, you will realize that you have never lived your own life. You will never live it because you will be so focused on pleasing everything they say and it will domino into every facet of your life. Imagine a future where you find a partner that you really like.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What if my parents' opinions are holding me back?
0:00–3:42
2
How can I find my own path despite parental expectations?
3:42–5:04
3
What role does parental approval play in our lives?
5:04–7:22
4
How do cultural expectations affect personal choices?
7:22–16:46
5
What should I do if my parents don't understand my career choices?
16:46–24:33