you’re frustrated because you care
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Why is frustration a common reaction in our lives?
I'm somebody that loves to get frustrated. I love to rage quit. When I used to play FIFA, I would like throw my controller. My mom used to say I had anger problems and I needed to see somebody. I'm just really passionate and I hate losing to a terrible goal. That's like the game's fault. It's not my fault. Anyways, frustration has ruined my life though in many different forms. It's actually made my life way more challenging than it needed to be. And oftentimes it came from the fact that my frustration would seep into my relationships with people. It no longer became, oh, I'm frustrated, but it became, I'm frustrated, let me take it out on somebody. Oh, my girlfriend is here, let me take it out on her.
Never physically, but it did manifest in kind of this frustrated I deserve something I want something the world is against me the whole spiral that you go down and if you are someone that gets frustrated really easily I want you to know that it doesn't have to be that way the way that you actually beat frustration is is you recognize A, where the frustration's coming from, but B, that the frustration, it's just something that sits on you.
How can frustration affect our relationships?
Okay, it's something that is a part of you, But it's not something that you have to act on. People choose to act on frustration. When I was throwing my controller, I was choosing to do that. I kind of felt the tingle. I felt like the, and that was my release. You don't ever need to do that. And I think that you need to learn to control your frustration because it can lead you to some really bad places. There are people in jail because they did not know how to handle their emotions and their frustration and instead they acted out against people instead of realizing, wait a minute, I'm upset about something that completely is not even related to this situation. situation or this person. Frustration can also grow from other parts of your body, of your being, and get transplanted into a certain situation.
You might be cussing out your best friend because he made fun of your music taste, but in reality, you're upset at yourself because you haven't been consistent with the gym and you promised yourself that you would be on top of things. You have to find where the frustration is coming from. And is it rarely the fact that someone at your job said something to you and that's why you're angry at them? It's rarely that someone was being disrespectful and oh my goodness, I can't believe it. No. Oftentimes what it comes from is the fact that you are not happy with yourself. That's where all of my frustration came from. A hundred percent and acting out on it just makes things worse. It's a temporary release.
It makes you think, oh my gosh, I'm so powerful. I can, you know, I've got the power. But no, you don't, bro. Like, you will regret the action. You will regret it immediately after it happens. I promise you. I've literally, I've done that. I've said things that were upsetting and rude and mean just because I felt frustrated and I thought that, you know, saying something to somebody else was going to help. It doesn't help at all. Nothing about that helped my situation. It just made things 10 times worse. It put more on my plate. So the next time you get frustrated, you have to recognize and take a step back.
What steps can we take to manage our frustration?
Good meta, leave. You're in a conversation, somebody's like being disrespectful, just be like, I'm out. On some shark take, I'm out. Like, go. Take a lap. Take a walk. Clear your head. You do not need to be in the same room. If you're forced to be in the same room, recognize you're frustrated. And just what I do is I just take a break from speaking and I listen. Let it be quiet. Let it be silent. You don't need to talk all the time. You don't need to immediately go and throw out stuff. You can talk like adults. So chill out. Another thing that is so, I think, pertinent to frustration is are you good, Fahm? On some Toronto slang, are you good, Fahm? Are you fine? Because if you're not okay, if something ticks you off and it's been building throughout the day, you are that much closer to utilizing all that ammo onto somebody else and putting yourself in a worse position than you were before.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
Why is frustration a common reaction in our lives?
0:00–1:24
2
How can frustration affect our relationships?
1:24–3:53
3
What steps can we take to manage our frustration?
3:53–8:30
4
How does self-awareness contribute to handling frustration?
8:30–15:26
5
What are the consequences of acting out on frustration?
15:26–15:39