Chapter 1: Who is David Spade and what are his latest projects?
Yeah.
No, because the funny thing is you just turn into JonBenet. One bump and I'm like, oh, I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy and I'm feeling great. And then I made my friend drive me and I got there and he's like – and it was freezing and I was shaking and tight. And he goes, you got to go in there. And he goes, but they're going to ask. Because I didn't stand up for about a year. Right.
And they go, they're going to ask. And they're going to have to call the police. I go, no, no, no. Extra scared. And he cranks the heater on in the car. And I'm starting to fucking sweat. But this is a good friend. Because he was there with me for three hours. He goes, you should go in there in a second. But just tell me more. And I was calming down. This was the trick. I didn't know this.
And my heart was going from like 3,000 over 2,000 to like started to get – Back to normal and then it got light out. And then I go, let's go home. So gross. And then I go, I'll never do it again. Four days later, hey, dude. I'm fucking jinking. What a great guy. There's me and they make me jump. Oh, yeah.
Jon Van Nye, brother.
Dude, it's funny.
That's beautiful.
In those days, first of all, because it reminded me of my old car because this place is out in the middle of nowhere next to some junkyard where we're shooting. It's a nice area. I mean, it's a nice area if you have no money. So I used to go to this junkyard and go to pick a part. You know what that is where they have all the cars out there? You can go looking for what you need.
And you get a part for your own car. No one thinks this ultra pussy did that. I'd go out there when they got him a socket wrench looking for a Subaru brat handle and go. You know, they go, go out there. And that's how all that Joe Dirt stuff started because I'm like, I did that. Get an alternator. Put it in my Volvo. Put it in wrong.
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Chapter 3: What was it like for David Spade growing up in Arizona?
Yeah.
God, could we cry? Could I cry? I'm not crying about the movie. It's fun.
No, dude.
I cry about everything. I cried about the driving.
I'm like – Yeah. We have to give a soft spot in your heart for everything. Yeah. For having to do stuff. Yeah. It's just definitely, man. It's life. We're being alive. No, dude. We're just talking about it. It's fucking life. Yeah, life. Everything isn't like – I think people don't think that everything is just complete magic or whatever, you know?
Right. I mean, the bottom line is it's funny when you watch a movie, any movie you see, you go, you don't think about how long, how much shit it took. You just go funny or not.
That's all. Especially when you start watching a movie and you're like, this movie fucking sucks. And then they're like. And then you don't even think. You're like, these fucking idiots got together every day and made it. That even blows your fucking mind. Oh, they made it.
They worked hard. This is some rewrite they loved, a fucking bomb. Yeah, when I go to movies, I used to sit through everything because I love comedy. I love movies. And then about five years ago, I started to walk out of movies. It's very hard. I think attention span and everything where I'm like, or I kind of know where it's going. And I'm like, if there's not enough tricks here, I got to go.
Yeah, if there's not a good bit of fucking in them, I'm out. If nothing else, someone start fucking someone.
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