To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon
Episodes
#69: Control Freak Rehab: The Art of Accepting What Is
13 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Coach Ellen Melon gets real about what happens when our inner control freak takes the wheel — and how to find peace when life refus...
#68: Intro to Shadow Work and Deepest Fear Inventory
14 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this solo episode, Ellen dives into the unconscious mind and explores how shadow work might be the missing link between what we say we want and wha...
#67: Embracing Uncertainty & Overcoming Scarcity Mindset
24 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I explore the deep discomfort of uncertainty, the scarcity mindset, and how they intertwine with faith, trust, and self-worth. Since ...
#66: Reflections & Lessons: Top 10 Things I Learned in 2024
15 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Description: In this New Year 2025 episode, I reflect on the biggest lessons I learned over the past year—a tradition that has shaped my personal gr...
#65: How to talk about sex, before, during, and after pregnancy and post-partum - Relationship Series Part 3 with Mike and Ellen Melon
13 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Part 3 of 7! This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging convers...
#64: How to talk about money, finances, spending habits - Relationship Series Part 2 with Mike and Ellen Melon
15 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back a...
#63: How to talk about jealousy and envy - Relationship Series Part 1 with Mike and Ellen Melon
11 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back a...
#62. How to find a place for grief - with Coach Ellen Melon
26 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How do you integrate painful losses into your life while living? Grief is something we in the United States are known to do poorly. Perhaps it's the E...
#61. What does sex & relationship coaching look like - with former client Addison
28 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we get to hear from a former client on his experience working with a sex and relationship coach. Addison and I worked for 4 months tog...
#60. The trick to using dating apps - a real convo with my boyfriend Mike
07 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to To Hump A Pillow! We're kicking off Season 4, our 20 episode season with episode #60 — on dating apps. When most of us think about d...
#59. How ayahuasca has enhanced our lives - with Hypnotherapist, Kate Bandmann
08 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ayahuasca is a powerful medicinal medicine that comes from the Amazon. It has been around for centuries, needs to be taken seriously, and is not for e...
#58. Childhood emotional neglect, shame, and school shootings - A perspective on self-hate - with Coach Ellen Melon
29 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I fly solo in offering a different perspective on the Texas School Shooting. Yes, maybe it's gun law reform and yes, it's also hurtin...
#57. What is your feeling on porn? - with Coach Jessica Childs
12 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What are you thoughts and feelings on porn? How do you use it in your life? In this episode Sex Coach, Jessica Childs and I discuss our own relationsh...
#56. Relationship Tips: Skills for Repair - with Coach Jessica Childs
27 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you avoid conflict? Does it feel like you're walking on eggshells in your home, in your relationships? Then you need some education around repair. ...
#55. Penis size and satisfying women - with Sex Educator and Author, Kenneth Play
13 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
For those of you who struggle with not being enough — your body type, your penis size, your ethnicity — this is an episode for you. In this episod...
#54. "Dating Sucks But You Don't" - An authentic conversation with Dating Coach for Men, Connell Barrett
30 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How do you show up as the genuine YOU in dating? How do you know when you're performing? How can you ensure you're being authentic? In this illumin...
#53. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with best friend Amy Edler - Part 3 of 3
16 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
"We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging." — Bre...
#52. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with best friend Hailey Hosler - Part 2 of 3
09 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
"We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging." — Bre...
#51. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with dear friend Tom Wixo - Part 1 of 3
02 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you're having a tough day? When you're expe...
#50. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Authentic sexuality and receiving pleasure - with Sex-Educator & Researcher, Nischa Phair, Part 2 of 2
23 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I invite Nischa Phair back for a deep dive on receiving pleasure, authentic sexuality and how they are related. Nischa tells us about...
#49. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Her new book on the nervous system, ignoring red flags, and fawning - with Sex-Educator & Researcher, Nischa Phair, Part 1 of 2
16 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ___...
#48. "The Pleasure is All Yours" - her new book and the importance of somatic work - with Dr Rachel Allyn, Holistic Psychologist
09 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Isn't pleasure supposed to be gluttonous? Is too much pleasure a bad thing? Maybe. But not enough pleasure might be worse. "Pleasure" is a word many a...
#47. Informal sex stories - with Erotic Ed Somatic Coaches Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon
06 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, sex coaches Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon compare sexual experiences. Raw, informal, honest, we share insight on what sex and intima...
#46. Self-compassion practice: How to talk to your inner child - with Erotic Ed Somatic Coaches Jessica Childs & Ellen Melon
23 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know how to talk to yourself nicely during hard or frustrating times? During times of anger or being triggered? Did you know that our level of ...
#45. Deep-dive on boundaries and guided boundary mapping meditation - with Coach Ellen Melon
08 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Coach Ellen Melon does a deep dive on all-things boundaries — Her own experience with boundaries, the lineage of women before her a...
#44. A guide to hook-up culture and casual sex for women - with Kink Coach & Author, Lia Holmgren
24 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ___...
#43. A story of recovery, postpartum motherhood, and overcoming resentment in married sex - with full-time mama, Madeline Clair
10 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Here's the thing about having kids — it changes everything. Your physical body, your mind, your hormones, your sex life, your sleeping life, what yo...
#42. Sex and relationship insights for drug addicts, alcoholics, and the sober community - with Life Recovery Coach, David Marion
27 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What happens to us in relationships when there is substance abuse? When we numb and cope with alcohol or drugs? How do we behave in intimate spaces wi...
#41. How intimacy changes after kids, postpartum, and repair after an affair - with Life Coach for Mums, Kiri Honey
13 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Motherhood is hard. I don't even have kids and I know that. I have this amazing opportunity to speak with Kiri Honey, Life Coach for Moms whose missio...
#40. Sexual abuse, religious trauma, and her healing journey - PART 2 of 2 - with Faith Deconstruction Coach Melanie Cain
01 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Part 2 of 2, we talk about the modern day Melanie is dealing with from her journey — real time hardships and repair in her relationship with her ...
#39. Sexual abuse, religious trauma, and her healing journey - PART 1 of 2 - with Faith Deconstruction Coach Melanie Cain
15 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
There's a whole movement we're experiencing when it comes to religious shame and trauma. People are waking up, sick of being oppressed. The controllin...
#38. Grief, loss, and being alone - with Coach Ellen Melon
01 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to Season 3! We are kicking off our first episode of the season with some real talk — like I know any other kind? ;) I'm going to share...
Becoming a Pleasure Priestess - The Journey of Self-Hate to Remembering My Worth
25 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I reveal my journey of becoming what I call a Pleasure Priestess. My journey of being a self-hating, angry, boundary-less woman to a ...
#37. Fathers with daughters, Catholic shame, and quitting drinking - with Sam from Food for Worms Podcast
07 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's not safe for men to show emotions in this lifetime. We're working on it but it's still not safe. Safety is necessary for ANYONE at ANYTIME to be ...
#36. Being raised around women, the fear of STDs, and the erotic nature of Morticia & Gomez Adams - with Darien from Food for Worms Podcast
23 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I speak with Darien Washington, co-host of podcast Food for Worms about a lot of different stuff. We touch on his sexual upbringing –...
#35. People-pleasing, self-abandonment, and how to set boundaries - with Aparna Sagaram, LMFT
09 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"How do I know if I'm a people-pleaser?" It's also known as the need to prove your worth. In this episode 2 people-pleasers join forces to talk about ...
#34. Toxic positivity, toxic optimism, and feeling your feelings - with Love Coach, Rosa Maxwell
26 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You know the sensation you get when people discount your feelings? Like when you're noticing a feeling and someone says, "Just think about something g...
#33. Extended orgasm, feminine/masculine dynamics, and sensual practices from relationship experts - with Alicia and Erwan Davon
12 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How the heck do you make time for sensuality and intimacy in your long-term relationship? In this episode, we are going to get some amazing perspectiv...
#32. On fathers who set bad examples, porn, virginity, and erotic poetry - with Khaliq Sim
28 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we talk to Author, Provocateur, Agorist, and Freethinker, Khaliq Sim, about his sexual upbringing as a very religious virgin who love...
#31. Holistic kink and conscious sex - with Mr. Dex Parker
14 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What is holistic kink? Conscious sex? Sexual fluidity? Energetics of sex? We're gonna find out. In this episode, adult performer and coach, Mr. Dex Pa...
#30. How to set the stage and actively engage your kids in "the sex talk" - with Natajsa Visser
31 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do you talk to your kids about sex? One conversation and done? Or start to lay bread crumbs from when they are young all the way to adolescence? N...
#29. Inside the life of a Female Dominatrix in NYC - with Goddess Aviva
17 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What influences someone to become a Female Dominatrix? What does it look like in the room with Female Dominatrix? How does this career influence your ...
#28. Male conditioning, male bashing and how we're socialized - with Ellen Melon
03 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
#27. Relationship insights on emotional availability for anxious attachment styles and codependents - with Ellen Melon
10 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
I've been dealing with Emotional Availability (well, the lack of it), for the first time in a relationship over the past 9 months, witnessing myself e...
#26. Breathing: Our natural regulator and path to orgasm - with Ellen Melon
28 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"When you own your breath, no one can steal your peace." I have to confess: I heard this a lot in my 20s and now that I'm in my 30s, I get it and see ...
#25. Kinks, Fetishes, and deeply understanding BDSM - with Wild Raychel
16 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Wild Raychel is going to tell us all about kink, feitsh, BDSM, and more. Rachel is on the path to becoming a sex & relationship coach specializing in ...
#24. Religious cults with their oppression of female pleasure and healing through BDSM — with Rachel Overvoll
03 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Rachel Overvoll shares her story of growing up in a religious cult and its oppression of female pleasure, her healing through BDSM, a...
#23. Our sexual values in partnerships and role play conversation about masturbation and porn - with Dr. Susie Gronski
18 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sexual health is now considered as one of the four pillars of health: Physical, Mental, Spiritual and Sexual. In this episode, Dr. Susie Gronski and I...
#22. The Art of Holding People Accountable for Leaders - with Ellen Melon
04 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Leadership. Where is it? Who has it? Where has it gone? To be a leader you must be courageous — At least that's what our history books tell us. But ...
#21. Adolescent experiences of racism: Color of your skin, objectification, and Sarah Bartman - with SYM1, PART 2
21 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
SYM1 and I are totally cut from the same cloth, in that we both love talking about our sexuality and welcoming others to talk about their sexuality. T...
#20. Adolescent experiences of racism: Sexuality, body image, self-worth - with SYM1, PART 1
21 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
SYM1 and I are totally cut from the same cloth, in that we both love talking about our sexuality and welcoming others to talk about their sexuality. T...
#19. Finding self-love with The 4 Agreements - with Ellen Melon
08 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to Season 2 of To Hump A Pillow! My aim with this podcast is to enhance the language and conversation around sex to give partners, people...
To Hump A Pillow, Season 2 Update
19 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
As we close season 1, Ellen Melon shares with you some updates from her personal life, and what is coming down the pipeline in Season 2, coming this O...
Reflection - On acceptance, compassion of self, and when to stop asking WHY (Bonus footage from Episode 18)
29 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Who feels like they are curious and always ask WHY? Why though? I want to better understand. Well, this audio is BONUS footage, leftover from episode ...
#18. Sex & intimacy after chronic illness - with Chris Maxwell Rose
23 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To be healthy and able-bodied is a blessing and the possibility of that changing MANY TIMES throughout the course of our lives is very realistic. Bodi...
#17. Things I've learned about myself 1 year after a big breakup - with Ellen Melon
01 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This episode marks 1 year almost to the day since the end of my 8 year relationship. July 2nd would mark both our anniversary and also the day he move...
#16. A discussion on harassment, independent women, and making spaces safer - with Shawna Potter
19 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What does mean to make a space safer? What is a safe space? According to Shawna Potter, it's being aware of the presence and behavior you have in plac...
#15. Long-term triad and thrupple relationships from a man's perspective - with Jonah
04 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In Episode 6, we hear a woman's perspective on what it's like to experience a long-term triad, thrupples, and polyamory. Today, we get to hear from Ma...
#14. How sex changes in partnerships for first time parents, genito-pelvic pain, and arousal disorder - with Dr. Natalie Rosen
20 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When you enter parenthood for the first time, your duo relationship becomes a trio and everything is new. That's what our guest is going to be talking...
#13. How dating and sex has changed from your early 20s to approaching 30s - an honest conversation with my dear friend Tom
06 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex, with whom you can speak intimately and informally? I do and boy, am I fortunate. This is a non-judgeme...
#12. A transgender story with educational tips on LGBTQ terminology and proper etiquette — with Eli Scriver
22 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is for those who need help understanding transgender experiences. Maybe you are intimidated by the LBGTQ jargon or feel like you can't ...
#11. First-time prostate massage, prostate milking, and male G-spot orgasm — with Marlon
08 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What the heck is prostate massage? Prostate milking? The male G-spot? In this episode, we're going to tell you all about it — how prostate massage ...
#10. Thinking about a career in sex work? Common misconceptions about the sex work industry - with Alice Little
02 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Alice Little is the most successful licensed sex worker in the United States. She has been voted the #1 Companion of the Year at the world famous Moon...
#9. Vaginal tearing during child labor: Sex, anatomy, fear, and lessons learned - with Alyssa
25 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Are you having a baby soon? Your FIRST baby soon? Lots of women express "not knowing enough" or being "terrified of the pain" during their first child...
#8. Tips on initiating sex and dealing with rejection Part 2 of 2 - with Ellen Melon
16 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do you initiate sex with your partner or partner(s)? Do you give them a look, do you send them a text, do you outright ask? Are you someone who al...
#7. The messages we receive about sex when we're young PART 1 of 2 - with Ellen Melon
26 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This is Part 1 of a 2-Part series. Part 1 is about (Episode 7) The messages we receive about sex when we're young and Part 2 is (Episode 8) Tips on ...
#6. Bisexuality and thrupples: Exploring triad relationships in your late 20s - with Mallory
12 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We all know that maintaining a relationship between 2 people is hard work, so what would it be like if there was a third? With the rise in polyamory a...
#5. Erectile dysfunction (ED) and how it relates to vulnerability - with Men's Sex Coach & Therapist, Joe Molinari
29 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
THE PENIS (AND ITS ERECTION) IS NOT THE CENTER OF THE SEXUAL UNIVERSE and we need to stop putting that kind of pressure on penises. In this episode we...
#4. The birds-and-the-bees conversation, revisited - with Mary (my mom)
12 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"The-birds-and-the-bees" — We all know the term, but not all of us got an opportunity to have that conversation. Maybe we talked to a friend. A cou...
#3. What do you want in 2020? - with Ellen Melon
07 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Show Description: While this is a podcast about sex-ed for adults who need help building language in how they talk about sex with their partners and c...
#2. Childhood adolescent sexuality; New ways to talk to your kids about genitals, puberty, and masterbation - with Elleri Scriver
18 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
In childhood sexual development, adults often want to know which behaviors are appropriate and indicate "healthy" childhood sexual development. To a...
#1. What does having HIV mean? - with Jon King
13 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
The debut of To Hump A Pillow with Ellen Melon! During this first episode, Ellen sits down with Minneapolis-based muralist and hand-letterer extraordi...
#0. Introduction - To Hump A Pillow with Ellen Melon
10 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
An introduction, episode #0. For parents who need help building language in how they talk about sex to their partners and children, 'To Hump A Pillow'...