Ryan Has Been Banned From Touring
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Why does Ryan keep getting reminded about pap smears on Mondays?
Kentiki in Vietnam. Are we past that? There's H limit. Is there actually age limit? Yeah, thirty
five.
Okay, well I'm fine then, Charles. Thank you very much.
And I'll get a fake ID. Hi, I am Randy from Chico, California, USA. Hi, I'm Samantha from Lake Mundy, Australia. Hi, I'm Julia from New Jersey in the US. And I approved this podcast!
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge, Captain of the Ship. Vice cap you're I'm vice captain. Your captain and Doctor Throat.
Which we have rediscovered on LinkedIn. Have you
sent that email?
I have. I emailed um Cynthia from STEMway.
Yeah.
And I said, We're in. What's the next stage? Like, what's the next thing that we need to do? Have not heard back.
Okay, great.
Um, but as I am now large in the um doctor community, not a fat joke by the way, just that I am like a big deal in the doctor community. I've actually gotten some news from Okay, sorry. Nah.
Pause. Come out real hot for a Tuesday and I'm just gonna need a moment to say
I love coming to work. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, so true. Uh first of all, this company sent us a letter offering us medical equipment for our medical practice.
Yeah. Dear Dr. Tony Love.
Second of all, can you please discuss why it is that you are Big in the doctor's world.
Yes. Okay. So This is not only this might be a combination of all of our favorite areas. Me being a doctor, medical comedy, maybe. Yep. And also on a fucking Monday.
Okay.
Because last Monday, I get a text from the Doctors Association of Australia or fucking whatever, as I am a board member, saying you need to get a pap smear.
The bullet sent that, did it?
Yeah, they do. It's like a national registry. Right.
So
it's like every time you get a pap smear, they go, Great, set up the reminder text for five years from now or two years from now, whatever it is.
Right.
Um
Doesn't that get your week off to a good start?
On a fucking Monday I get a text being like, Girlfriend, you do need to have a paps me up. I go, okay, I'll book in. I find this new doctor and she doesn't have an appointment for like three months. Or she had an appointment yesterday. So not only did I get told I had to have a pap smear on a fucking Monday, yesterday I had a pap smear smear on a fucking Monday.
Don't you traditionally
first of all, congratulations, thank you.
Traditionally, would that be something you would need a put off, yeah, but like need five to six business days to like get your head around that this is hap remember that time I got a wax on a whim?
Yes, that was crazy. That was crazy. Yeah, so my wife Yeah. So my
wife had a a waxing appointment. I went to cancel and they said, sorry, uh, it's too late. And I said, Well, how much did she pay? And they said 80 bucks. I'm like, Well, what can I get?
Yeah. And and that thus was the beginning of your waxing. My
beautiful back. My sexy, slippery, silky dolphin back.
Dolphin.
I'm guessing a pat like if someone goes, You're getting a pap smear today, you're like, oh, hang on, I need to. You need to
mentally prepare for sure. It's very invasive. Sure. Like it's
the invasive You know,
like it's up your full clacker. Do you know what I mean? Um so the
medi the medical Yeah, as a doctor.
You can listen to me. Okay. But so not only did I get told I had to have a Paps Meow on Monday, on a fucking Monday, I had a Paps Meow the following fucking Monday.
Congratulations.
Thank you. I was really proud of myself. Invaded. Yeah. Yeah, personally invaded. Yeah. No, and you should do it. Don't put it off. It's very important.
Charles, what's one question? 'Cause I've got one.
Okay, here we go. Well Charles only found out what a pap smear was like two weeks ago, I told him. So I
feel like what's a question that you want to ask but you wouldn't because
Oh, this is like an episode of the ABC show, like you can't ask that. You absolutely can. Yeah. Ask me whatever you want. Is there
something you're curious about?
I did completely forget what the PAP scene was, even though you did explain it to me like
Scrapes.
Yeah, that's Kate Heslop's uh medical term for those playing one at home.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does Ryan keep getting reminded about pap smears on Mondays?
0:00–5:52
2
What’s the story behind the giant toilet clog and the mysterious tongs?
5:52–11:20
3
How do the hosts handle the endless sink‑food debate and the “duck‑bill” tool?
11:20–18:04
4
Why are the hosts arguing about selling city‑specific merch?
18:04–24:05
5
What’s the hot take on the Gold Coast vs. Brisbane confusion?
24:05–29:49
6
How do the hosts plan the upcoming live show and ticket sales?
29:49–35:46
7
What’s the “divorce cruise” idea and why does it matter to the audience?
35:46–42:07
8
How do the hosts wrap up the episode with confessions and future plans?
42:07–46:15