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Missiles, Conspiracies & What Ifs | Unsubscribe Podcast 255

16 Mar 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What unusual items are trafficked by the cartel?

0.031 - 4.317 Brandon Herrera

Did you know the cartel are trafficking avocados and gasoline? I hate avocados.

0

4.337 - 6 Connor

Wait a minute, that's where the Mexicans are.

0

6.2 - 10.346 Brandon Herrera

How dare you? The shills on the internet are like, you lost in Afghanistan. By what metric?

0

10.526 - 13.23 Donut Operator

Because all the people in Afghanistan don't have a Roth IRA?

0

13.611 - 35.59 Eli Doubletap

Like, I don't understand. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. And Brandon, his hair is fucking fabulous. And Donut, a dark joke disposition. And there's a fat electrician. Welcome to Unsubscribe.

35.857 - 55.435 Habitual Line Crosser

Hey, right before this episode starts, the new flavors are out. Also, the new line, the performance line is out too. Raz lemonade, orange cream, sour apple, and grape citrus. And we are going to call that purple drank by the end of the year. Purple drank in the comments if you think it should be called purple drank. I love purple drank. And it's the new performance line.

55.455 - 64.243 Habitual Line Crosser

So it's 200 milligrams of caffeine instead of 100. But Eli, I love the hydration element. We might be adding some classics to the hydration line.

64.645 - 74.2 Connor

Y'all made this possible with these amazing flavors. It is awesome to be part of a brand that works together with the community to develop stuff we actually like.

74.641 - 96.253 Habitual Line Crosser

And the best news, those just dropped today. I promise you, you are going to love the new flavors. Head over to drinkechelon.com and get some today. And if you're a subscription member, just change it to grab some. Just be like, I want that instead this coming month. We love you all. We are freaking blessed. We interviewed Gary's niece a couple days ago. What? And our boy Brandon won.

Chapter 2: What is the significance of internet speed for Ethan?

181.051 - 183.174 Brandon Herrera

Hang on. Actually, I'll take that one. That one's cold.

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183.195 - 185.759 Fat Electrician

Perfect. Now it's everyone has cold one?

0

186 - 186.2 Brandon Herrera

Yep.

0

187.342 - 190.047 Fat Electrician

Okay. Three, two, one.

0

195.19 - 204.22 Connor

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unscribed Podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Doubletap, fat electrician, habitual line crosser. Myself, Donut Operator. Thank you so much for being here.

205.121 - 207.344 Habitual Line Crosser

We're here today, bitches. We got a boy in the house.

207.604 - 210.267 Connor

I am. Mr. Ethan. He's already got picked on once or twice.

210.608 - 226.232 Brandon Herrera

Yeah. Like, this is the podcast I'm not supposed to get picked on on. All the other ones, that's where I get picked on. Anytime Rich is present. Honestly, coming down here and I found out Rich wasn't coming, I was like, oh... I might not be called fat for a couple of days. It'd be great. Nope. Nick, you ruined that. Good.

227.395 - 232.588 Donut Operator

You made me pull over in downtown San Antonio at night. Dude, I... So you could try to puke.

Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about avocados?

908.576 - 933.556 Connor

Cody's the litmus test. Are you following Cody? And does he follow you back? Well, one more time. Hey, you probably heard of Yellow Fresh. Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh. Like, of course you'd think it's Yellow Fresh. You would. Arigato. For the number one meal kit in America, making home cooking easy by delivering chef-crafted recipes and ingredients directly to your door.

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933.816 - 938.301 Connor

This isn't the Hello Fresh you remember. It's bigger. What'd you call me?

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938.281 - 966.55 Connor

they've doubled their menu now you can choose from 100 options every week including new seasonal dishes and recipes from around the world dig into bigger portions that will keep everyone satisfied and now you can choose from over 15 high protein options each week healthier like like grass-fed ribeye i don't know how they get the ribeye to eat the grass hellofresh helps you eat greener too with their new veggie packed recipes they have two or more veggies per dish that's not from our audience meat steak

0

966.53 - 988.036 Connor

You know what my favorite vegetable is, Cody? Mayonnaise? No. Stephen Hawking? What? Their menu is awesome. You can get steak and seafood recipes delivered each week at no extra cost. Now at three times the seafood options. You love seafood. Before they sponsored us, I've actually been using HelloFresh for years, paying for it, and it's always a great value, and it's always really good recipes.

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988.256 - 991.66 Connor

I have actually done the same, and it was, I will admit, it was pretty damn good.

991.64 - 1004.218 Habitual Line Crosser

Now HelloFresh or a meal replacement program like that is cheaper than going **** at this point. Dude, yeah, as expensive as fast food's been getting. Go to HelloFresh.com slash unsub10fm and get 10 free meals now.

1004.478 - 1013.612 Connor

Plus a free breakfast for life. A whole breakfast for free for life? One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Various buy plan.

1013.652 - 1019.52 Cody

That's HelloFresh.com slash unsub10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free breakfast for life.

1019.5 - 1028.099 Connor

Oh, God, dude. I didn't talk about this last night. You know who blocked me recently? Who? World of Warcraft. Why, Cody? Oh, God. What was your tweet?

Chapter 4: What are the implications of the nuclear bombings in history?

3898.36 - 3899.442 Brandon Herrera

Holy shit.

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3899.827 - 3921.16 Brandon Herrera

yeah dude back then i mean it was just it was haves and have-nots and i'm sorry like for anyone out there and you can cancel me if you want to for anyone who's like well you know you guys did this america did this and native american genocide like don't get me wrong all that bad but at the same time don't get mad because people with my complexion were better at stealing territory than yours i don't okay like just i don't understand

0

3921.14 - 3944.481 Donut Operator

okay billy eilish i don't understand the outrage over the nuclear bombings in particular it doesn't make sense to me because like what if lane no but no it's not even that like we bomb the shit out of a lot of people at a lot of different points and it's just like nuking japan was so wrong and it's like okay it's fine like killing people with bombs is objectively bad i agree but like

0

3944.461 - 3961.943 Donut Operator

Why are we hyper fixated on this one bomb because of the type of but like, do you think the guy that got blown up by a conventional bomb or an incendiary bomb is any more dead than the guy that got blown up by a nuclear bomb? Like, I don't understand the anger of like the type of bomb in particular.

0

3962.043 - 3974.137 Fat Electrician

It's one piece of history that they actually know about. So it's like, well, that one was bad. It's like, OK, and it's no different than. being mad about one genocide going on now versus I think it's like 12 or 18 genocides going on in the world.

3974.317 - 3974.578 Unknown

It is.

3974.778 - 3979.286 Fat Electrician

I know this one. Wyatt, you need to also know this.

Chapter 5: How do modern genocides compare to historical events?

3979.446 - 3988.873 Fat Electrician

And since I feel bad about it, you should feel bad about it. You mentioned all the other ones going on. They're like... I haven't read on that one.

0

3989.413 - 4000.143 Brandon Herrera

Because people don't care. They want what's right in front of them and they hyper fixate on that. I will say what is going on in the modern world with like the free Palestine people, stuff like that, you know, whatever.

0

4000.903 - 4008.17 Connor

Hold on. That was like two months ago. We moved on. We have new profile picks.

0

4008.19 - 4015.977 Donut Operator

Sorry. Sorry, my bad. We're buffering. We're due for a new one. The Minnesota thing got resolved. Now we need the new drop should be any minute. Yeah, any minute.

0

4016.097 - 4025.547 Connor

Where are we mad at this month? I hate that. What are we mad at this month? Yeah. What flag should I put in my fucking bio this month?

4026.609 - 4042.187 Brandon Herrera

And just like, I mean, being in the geopolitical space, paying attention to how everything in the world works, the and me and Nick talked about this. I think it was on a kind of consensual episode. The people who, when we took Maduro were pissed off, but they're also pro Ukrainian. And it's like, Don't you see this is fucking up Russia's war machine.

4042.207 - 4045.151 Brandon Herrera

Like that was a good idea for us to go into Venezuela and take out.

4045.671 - 4073.879 Donut Operator

I don't understand functionally. What is the difference between Joe Biden putting a $50 million bounty on a foreign leader's head versus just sending Delta force to go get him? Like Cody, you were, you were a cop, right? Like, Wouldn't I be convicted of murder or like tried for murder if I, two options, I could shoot someone or I could hire a hit man to go shoot someone for me.

4074.72 - 4078.683 Donut Operator

Aren't I getting convicted or like charged with murder and getting put in prison either way?

Chapter 6: What is the significance of the IBCS air defense system?

4118.401 - 4124.593 Brandon Herrera

We have these radars. We have these systems. We can see this. This makes your, your stealth invisible, which is so.

0

4124.994 - 4126.236 Donut Operator

That wasn't fair.

0

4126.697 - 4127.038 Brandon Herrera

Yeah.

0

4127.058 - 4129.262 Donut Operator

And then you used a sound weapon.

0

4129.242 - 4139.895 Brandon Herrera

That wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. You can either vomit a whole bunch or you can have suppressed 300 blackout, remove your brain out the far side of your fucking head.

4139.915 - 4143.059 Donut Operator

All fun and games until the blacked out Chinook, Blair and Sosa, pulls up.

4145.201 - 4153.131 Connor

Which was fucking cool, man. I loved waking up to it. Dude, I saw... Someone asked... This is a new war.

4153.191 - 4160.507 Habitual Line Crosser

No, it's over. It's done. Don't worry about the war part. gone. Also, they blew up a monument.

4160.547 - 4180.875 Connor

All the way out there. Brandon, he had a question the other night at one of his things, and he's not here right now, so I'm kind of... Speak for him. Yes, of course. Yeah, I'm going to speak for him completely. He puts on the Brandon hat. It's a pointy white cap.

Chapter 7: How do generational aircraft compare globally?

4274.054 - 4289.353 Donut Operator

And that's been the standard for all of human history. If the Romans rolled up, kill all your government. And then the Romans were in charge with the army there. Like the Romans won the war. What are we talking about? And so I don't, Oh yeah.

0

4289.373 - 4293.186 Brandon Herrera

It's like all the fucking, the shills on the internet. Like you lost in Afghanistan.

0

4293.47 - 4317.047 Donut Operator

yeah by what metric because all the people in afghanistan don't have a roth ira like i don't understand like you know what i mean oh yeah absolutely dude if i roll up and i live in your house with a gun and just beat the shit out of you whenever i feel like it for 20 years and then one day i decide to move out or you're like yeah keep walking mister that's what i thought it was so fucking laughable

0

4317.432 - 4320.642 Connor

We used 1% of our military potential, by the way.

0

4321.143 - 4323.31 Fat Electrician

We had rules where we couldn't shoot missiles at you.

4324.072 - 4352.229 Connor

We dropped how many JDAMs or MOABs? One the entire time? One MOAB, yeah. One MOAB. and we collapsed a mountain with it. We could drop those willy-nilly. If it wasn't for our rules, America had a good old 4th of July every day of the week. The old willy-nilly Moab. Dude, if you dropped 30 Moabs... Oh yeah. Stop fucking around real quick. I wouldn't fuck around.

4352.249 - 4367.993 Donut Operator

Have you heard the ally, like the accounts of allied forces on the ground, like not Americans? No. Like there's been like a bunch of like British and like Danish dudes that were like, oh my God, the Yanks nuked them. They literally thought we dropped a nuke when that happened.

4368.226 - 4384.569 Connor

I do. Okay, I have a question. Okay, for missile. Yeah. All right. We, we took out another like narco boat the other day. And I'm curious about the the exact ordinance that takes them out because you see it hit the boat and then you see like a splash zone like, yeah, fragmentation pattern.

4384.97 - 4385.19 Brandon Herrera

Yeah.

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