Graham & Maria VEXED Over Married Teacher SCANDAL
episodePreviously titled “A School Teacher Affair and "Fart Tennis"” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
Wanging On with Graham Norton and Maria McErlane
33 min
2 speakers
6 chapters
transcribed 2 months ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Have farts stopped being as smelly as they were? You've proven yourself. Okay, you can have your driving license back.
Well, I still don't know who the prime minister is. I opened the comedy door there for you and you barged straight in. I knew what I was doing as soon as I said it.
How can it be true? Time for another sparkling edition of Wanging On with Graham and Maria, plus our dedicated wangers and lots of questionable advice. How are you?
All right. I'm just wondering where 55 Shows went. I know. Isn't it mad? Who are you?
Wanging On. We did come up with quite a good name for this.
What was it?
Wanging On. Jesus Christ.
I just asked you who you were and you didn't tell me. Does Matron know?
Yes.
cup of tea 55 shows 55 shows have we scraped barrels oh listen the sound yeah nails chipping away it's a bit of crud but we are expanding and we are actually going to edinburgh to do something in front of a live audience to show people the bottom of the barrel We weren't lying. There's nothing.
There's nothing. Have you selected your show clothes?
Well, it's a difficult one because we've got a daytime show and then a nighttime show.
And also... I'm doing a costume change during the show.
I'm coming in on trapeze. And for this nighttime show, I'm coming in on a horse down the central aisle.
I've booked an elephant.
No, no, no, they've said no elephants this year in Edinburgh. They had an incident last year. No, outfits. I saw a very, very nice Missoni jacket. Oh, yes. But I didn't really like the fabric. It felt a bit cheap, the fabric. But what I liked was it had fringing all down the sides of the sleeve and fringing on the back. Oh, yes.
Edinburgh fringe.
LAUGHTER
So, I contemplated the very expensive jacket and then thought, not convinced. So, what I did, Graham, you know I like a charity shop. I found a jacket, which is black sequin jacket.
Perfect for show business.
Black sequin. Very Liza Minnelli. And went and bought three meters of fringing. Oh, yes. Fringing. And I sewed it on.
When are Graham and Maria talking about their Edinburgh live shows?
Oh, my goodness. Yeah.
Well, that'd be lovely. That'd be nice in the afternoon. It'd be nice in the evening. Yeah. Should I wear it both? It'd be a bit smelly in the evening, but yeah, fine.
What will you be wearing? I feel there should be some coordinated element to it.
Oh, well, if you're wearing black sequins, I probably have some black sequins knocking around. You have so many fabulous showbiz jackets. Yes. But the trouble is, Edinburgh, you know, if... The weather is terrible. It doesn't matter. But if the sun even peeks from behind a cloud, every venue in Edinburgh suddenly becomes hotter than the surface of the sun.
Oh, my God. Well, because in this country, we simply do not have air conditioning. And especially when you go north. Sorry, people north of Watford. But if you go north, air conditioning is just not a thing. And those venues, mind you, the King's Theatre is quite big, Graham.
Yes, and it'll be empty, of course. So that will help. Oh, this is nice and cool.
I saw an episode of Hacks where she was booked to play Madison Square Gardens, and then one of her detractors and nemesis enemy had booked all the tickets.
How do Graham and Maria plan outfits and logistics for two Edinburgh shows?
And so she went out to play Madison Square Gardens, and there wasn't anyone there.
Is that what happened? That's a spoiler.
Oh, sorry.
I haven't seen that episode yet. Oh. Is that the finale?
Oh, there's a finale to come.
Oh, is there? Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I'll look forward to that.
But I thought that was a wonderful idea, you know, the notion of your comeback being at Madison Square. Okay.
It would be nice to see it.
It's too late to take it back now. Graham, I said what I said.
I'd just like to apologize to anyone listening to this who was also looking forward to that episode of Hacks.
No, Hacks has been on forever now.
I know, but I was saving it because I really like it.
Yeah. I think me saying that I might have been lying Ed do you think are you saying are you saying the rest is entertainment have actually booked all the tickets yeah I'm absolutely saying that yes Arrival podcast yes is that Arrival the rest is entertainment I don't know it's just the podcast name came to me that's Richard Osman and Marina Hyde isn't it well done good you've proven yourself okay you can have your driving license back well I still don't know who the prime minister is or who you are
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–2:31
2
When are Graham and Maria talking about their Edinburgh live shows?
2:31–3:35
3
How do Graham and Maria plan outfits and logistics for two Edinburgh shows?
3:35–19:09
4
Which TV programmes and kids' shows are they watching and recommending?
19:09–26:29
5
What should I do if two teacher colleagues start an affair at work?
26:29–31:33
6
Why do listeners advise against telling the husband in a workplace affair?
31:33–33:42