Chapter 1: What are the initial impressions of the Below Deck Mediterranean crew?
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How are you doing today in this gloomy, rainy Los Angeles day?
Oh, I'm so cozy. I've got my sweatshirt on, as you can see with Crappens on Demand, and I've also got my sweatshirt. pants on. And I'm just like, I'm just like ready to crawl under a blanket and do something even cozy. I don't know what I'm going to, I thought play like spelling bee on my New York times app. I don't know, but I'm just cozy. What about you?
Yeah, I'm cozying it up. I'm wearing my Beyonce hoodie, my Cowboy Carter hoodie. I feel very Beyonce-ed up. I love wearing a hoodie to work. And it's a very exciting day because, oh, this is a very rough hoodie. It's like a very stiff material. So I'm echoing actually my own ears. I'll take that off. Welcome. I've never echoed in a hoodie before. That's so weird. I didn't know that was possible.
Yeah.
I didn't either. Well, everybody, welcome to the show. It's Below Deck Mediterranean Day. Gather around for some hugs and some naps, okay, on this cozy day. You can find this video on Crappin's On Demand, which is on Patreon. That's also where you get bonus episodes. This week, we are doing a preview of the Southern Charm trailer, a trailer trash, as we call them, so...
Join us over there for that. Thanks for everybody who came to Amazon Live last night. That was super fun shopping with you guys.
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Chapter 2: How does Kizzy's flirtation affect the dynamics among the crew?
We do that Mondays at 4 p.m. every other Monday. And when we're not doing that, we are doing Crappy Hour Live, which is a Bravo News thingy that we do every other Monday at 5.30 p.m. on YouTube and Patreon for free. So join us for that. You can find links to everything on our social link in bio at or on Instagram, I guess I should say. And that's it for that. Let's get to the recap.
Well, you know, before we do the recap, I just want to give a shout out to one of our great friends here in our Bravo world. Also, we just love her in general, Amy Phillips.
Amy Phillips.
Excuse me, I'm getting choked up. Oh my God, Amy Phillips. Oh my God. I owe everything to Amy Phillips. Oh, Amy Phillips. But anyway, if you're like a drama darlings podcast. We love Amy. She subbed in for both of us over the summer at various times. And she's wonderful. And if you're going to BravoCon, we just want to flag this for you.
That at nighttime, like, you know, I don't know what the schedule is, but I don't think there's things scheduled at night. So if you're looking for something cool to do, Amy Phillips is doing this thing called Cabaret Me. And it's going to be at the Hard Rock Cafe. She does her comedy cabaret. And you're like, you know, she does like a million impersonations. So she's going to be doing it.
So if you ever wanted to see Tamara and Gretchen singing Wicked, which... which I think we all want to see. It's Tamara Gretchen. You know, Amy is going to knock it out of the park. So definitely go check out Amy's cabaret rainy. That's going to be happening during Bravo con weekend. And she's also let us know that it's going to be at the hard rock on the strip and your ticket.
If you get him,
Yeah, isn't that amazing? Like hard rock. And your ticket gets you 20% off of food for the day of the show. And if you want to get tickets, go to TicketWeb and search Cabramy.
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Chapter 3: What issues arise during the crew's first night out?
That's C-A-B-A-R-A-M-Y. Or you can just check out Amy's Instagram at meetamyphillips. And her link will be in the bio. So go support our girl, Amy.
Yeah, she's great. I saw it last time I was at Bravo. It was great. Yeah, she does a great show and she's a great person. She really is. She's like legitimately a great person. She's not a ventriloquist, but she is a great magician. It's a great magic show. And she strips. She takes off all her clothes.
What she can do with a tassel, you don't even realize. She can make her tassel sound like Rachel Zoe.
Wait until the ping pong section, the ping pong ball section. It is absolutely incredibly lamey. Okay. Okay, we'll be there. Love you, Amy. Okay, everybody, let's check out Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, Episode 3, Excess Baggage. We have been in a fight with Christian, who's a dummy who tries to make us think that he's getting phone numbers wherever he goes. And Max, who's also a dummy.
He's a French dummy, which really makes no difference except his voice is super fun when he yells at people. And Christian's mad that he's getting bossed around all the time. And Max is mad because he's trying to be... Who did he say he was? What dictator was he trying to be?
With the guillotine? Oh, he's trying to be Robespierre.
He's trying to live up to the legacy of Robespierre. Yeah, Mussolini. I don't know where that came from. But he is... I don't know history very well. Can you tell I'm a reality person? And so they're yelling at each other. And Christian is like, don't do that. You fucking you don't fucking know me. OK, so don't push my buttons.
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Chapter 4: How does the crew handle conflicts and communication challenges?
And Max is like, push the button, then push the button. Push the button.
okay fantasia uh so max is like yeah he's like you don't know he's like this guy you know i asked him to just put this and i see him the other way doing like oh my god and tessa's just sitting there watching quietly judging putting everything in her her like uh in her vault to complain about later not actually doing any cleaning of course because it's tessa but she's just watching
Yeah. I like that Tessa's so judgmental, but also doesn't work at all. Yeah. That's my favorite kind of judgmental. I love a judgmental that comes from a place of not having any leg to stand on, you know, in the argument. And so that's what she does. And it's really fun to watch. And so I don't even know what they're really fighting about. Like Max wants him to dry certain things.
And he's like, but I did dry that. And he's like, no, you didn't dry it. And it's just a stupid fight. Max wants to be in charge. Christian doesn't want to be
bossed around but they're both dumb so Max is like oh since two days every time we ask you something there's a reason you don't do this thing and he's like but literally I did the whole thing bro okay the chamois gave me his phone number Max is like oh you I asked you to put on cover there's no cover so Nathan's like okay stop lad stop Jesus fucking Christ let's keep it professional finish the job when you're off the boat you have a conversation but for now you know get changed we'll get ready to go out let's concentrate on not fixing my hair
It's definitely a clash of egos, but they're not actually alpha males. They aren't lions. They're behaving like fucking cats. Like, oh, this. I like cats. Stop that. Don't sully cats with these two idiots. They're acting like two stupid platypuses fighting over a piece of grass. Yeah.
Uh, they're acting like boys. So Nathan's like, uh, what was that test? And she's like, honestly, I don't know. Just can't. Could you pick up Sammy? No, still not.
So everyone is cleaning because it's the, you know, they're fixing up the boat, you know, because tonight they're going to go out. So now they're getting excited. And Kizzy says, she's going to get so drunk tonight. Like she really can't wait. And then Sandy is in the bridge and she's listening to a voicemail from Leah that's like,
Hi, baby. I'm on my way to work.
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Chapter 5: What role does the preference sheet play in the upcoming charter?
I miss you. You're, like, so cute. Like, in, like, a sexy wife. Like, I'm so in love. What kind of way? And, like, I don't know. Like, call me when you can. I love you, baby. Yeah, you're, like, really sexy. But, like, you're cute. But I don't mean it, like, in a bad way, baby. I mean, like, you're cute in a really sexy way, baby. Come on, baby.
Oh, my God. how new are you two? Do you talk like that all the time? And Captain Sandy's just sitting there with a huge grin on her face. Like, wow, the luckiest girl alive.
Uh, so I asked Norma if she ever gets voicemails like that. And she says, sometimes she gets something left by the, uh, a representative from sadness.com. So I don't know. People just get different kinds of messages, I guess.
Sadness.com or Norma. Um, baby, baby, baby.
My head's exploding over here. So V is asking Aisha for feedback on her cabins. Aisha's like, what are you doing? And then Kizzy is hanging with Josh. I don't know. People are doing things, you know, taking a nap before tonight. What are we going to do? So V still doesn't really seem to know what she's doing.
You know, she has to learn about things like hand towels, you know, and she has to, like, explain what hand towels are and why they're important. Because sometimes your hands get wet and you need a hand towel.
I feel so determined to get V up to speed because a stronger team needs more cold hard cash. And right now, Scott and I, we've got a wedding coming up and we're doing repairs on the house. And I've got a mortgage and I need to paint the house. Paint's expensive.
I like this. It gives yourself like a three-minute laugh break.
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Chapter 6: How does the crew prepare for the guests' arrival?
Too much more.
uh so sorry uh so sandy is uh walking through the boat like wow good great looks like a hug this is like the uh clean version of a hug great everybody did great so we're about to go out max is gonna go for kizzy tonight everyone's all for kizzy because she's like i'm so horny i just love love and um kizzy
Is it me? Does Kizzy look different in every single shot that they show of her? I cannot get a grasp on what her face actually looks like. Like one moment, she sort of looks like kind of a British, like what was the name of the woman? Jerry Hall from Star Trek or whatever. Like sometimes she looks like that. Sometimes she's like a little kind of like,
Kind of like a mom version of like Charlize Theron. And then sometimes she's like this. She just has different looks.
I think she looks like Rose McGowan sometimes from Charmed. Went back in the Charmed days. And I think sometimes she looks like Christina Ricci. Back in the Adams family days. But I don't know. I can't really figure it out. I do know this. She's probably a sociopath, which I like. She's like a sociopath with an extreme need for attention, which I think works really well on this show in general.
Yeah, it's good casting.
Yeah, it usually winds up like that. Yeah.
And so she's texting Tommy, who... I guess it's her boyfriend and it's really super romantic. She texts him. I can't poop. And he says, sorry, I'm driving. I don't know what that means. Like, would he normally be able to help you if he wasn't driving? Would he be able to talk you through it? Like squeeze, but not so hard that, you know, you get a little bump. Yeah. What would you do?
Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Think of coffee coursing through your system. Yeah.
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Chapter 7: What humorous incidents occur during the recap of the episode?
Think of the fiber. So Aisha is, she's somehow found some like fake balls and she's like dipping them into Kizzy's mouth. So that's fun. They're like teabagging. And now they're all getting ready to go out. To have their first night out as a team. So they're getting into their vans and they're excited. And V spills a beer on herself and they're laughing.
And the guy sticks her finger up Nathan's ass.
And he was like, well, that's the first time I've ever had a finger up my ass. I do not believe you. I don't believe you. So then Nathan is saying to Max, first charter, and I think you and Christian are going to rip each other's throats out, eh, brah? And Max is like, yeah, yeah. Every time we ask him something, he always finds something to say. You know, you know.
And then in the other van, V is with Christian and Josh. And they're, you know, having more fun while Max is just making everything about gossiping. Yeah, exactly.
And Aisha and Nathan are, like, sort of, like...
they're talking because basically uh you know his team is totally inept and he's you know like they're just trying to figure out what to do with everything with his deck team and everything and asia saying they're just like there's no time to train anyone you just have to like dive in and go and uh you know because basically because it's below deck so they are thrown into the fire as soon as possible they get like no lead time to get ready for guests etc
Yeah. So they arrived now. They're purposely given people who don't know what they're doing to make a good show. But I worry for the boat. They're getting out of hand at this point. I like when they had one or two people who don't know what they're doing and then everybody can believe that person. But having this many people not know what they're doing is a little scary.
So Tessa, meanwhile, is like, it's real hard, though. Like, I don't think I've ever worked this hard in my life since the boys were born. And now everybody's in downtown Barcelona. Party. It's our first party night with this crew, right? It's the first night we see them all doing their thing.
Yeah, it is.
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Chapter 8: What are the final thoughts on the crew's performance and relationships?
And like, no one cares. It's like. leave the hypnosis for hypnosis camp because no one cares about your hypnosis here in below dark world. He's like, I want to, I want to all do a hypnosis clinic. Yeah. He's like, I did learn for five months, a therapy hypnosis, you know? And the one moment I swear it fucking came to me, you will do hypnosis now. I'm like, well, I have bad news for you.
I know that you said that you had this epiphany that you're suddenly going to become like hypnotherapist, but you unfortunately may have been hypnotized because you're currently a deckhand on a boat. So I think you're a little bit far, farther field from your, from your therapy practice.
Yeah.
Get hypnotized harder, bro.
Yeah. So Kizzy is asking Nathan about his exes and he's like, well, the most recent was last season. We're like best friends, you know, just kind of, I kind of fucked it up. And she's like, R.I.P. I haven't pooped today. And Josh is asking where Max is going next. He's talking about the hypnosis. And then everyone just wants him to shut up.
Christian's just looking at him like, are you fucking kidding me with your fucking hypnosis? Shut up. Who wants to calm themselves and close their eyes around Max? Literally nobody. Okay. So now Kizzy's doing that thing.
This is something we see on Below Deck a lot, which is like the thirsty two who wants to get with all the guys, which by the way, I support it. Go slut it up. Those guys are good looking. Go get your fun, et cetera. But she does it and like her, her flirting is just so clunky and so obvious. It's like, so she's like, she turns to Tessa and is like, Do you want to do a vajazzle with me?
Of course the guys can hear it. And she's like, oh my God, she's going to talk about like jewels on her vagina and everything. Like, you know, oh, what? Oh, you were listening in on that. It's like, okay, clunky flirt incoming.
Yeah, she's kind of doing the flirting thing that people who are kind of not hot commodities do. You know, like we see it a lot with people who can't get dates. We're like, hey, everybody feeling horny all the time. It's me. And you're like, oh, God, it's like always awkward. But it's an actual hot person acting like that. It's like you don't have to put yourself out there.
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