Chapter 1: What unresolved issues does Dorit have with Kyle and Erika?
Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
Crap!
Hello and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.
Speaking of very deservingly successful ex-sitcom stars, Theo has jewelry. I'm so proud of him. Claire Huxtable's like, I knew Theo could do it. I always believed in Theo. Wait, what? It's Nikki Hilton's jewelry launch party for Theo Grace. That's a stupid name. I'm sorry. Theo Grace jewelry. And also, this jewelry is ugly as fuck. What is it? Bumblebees on... Golden bumblebees on squares.
What is this? Who's buying this?
I blocked it out. I'm sure it's all of Kyle's daughters are buying it. Theo Grace.
So we go to the jewelry party at Kathy's house, and she's telling Nikki, oh, you're so exciting. I'm so proud of you, honey. She's like, oh, my God, Mom, the pool looks so good. She's like, yeah, it does. My daughter Nikki's jewelry line, it's named after my two granddaughters. It's called Theo Grace.
Yeah. Well, look, I'll keep an eye out for that. Nikki's like, the party starts in five minutes. Like, people are arriving, Mom. She's like, y'all, there's like so much you have to do to put together an event because you've got to be thinking about everything because no one else is going to do it. The valet, the flowers, the candles, the right lighting. You've got to put a headband on Carol.
You know, the menu, helpers, waiters, bartender, making sure that there's a toilet paper, making sure your butler's actually alive and well. You know, if the details aren't perfect,
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Chapter 2: What happens at Nikki Hilton's jewelry launch party?
I feel like every day Kathy sends her like a look and says like, you have to wear this today, Carol. Because she always comes in with some outfit that's like sort of crazy. Look right.
Today she is wearing like one of those flowery dresses that looks like blue china, you know, like flower china and a headband in her hair.
What? The headband was so weird.
Me too.
this what are you doing over there carol come on and we know kathy did it because kathy walks up to a butler with a matching tie and she's like oh you like the tie i got for you butler person yeah i got you a bow tie too what about that kathy is like a walking project runway challenge at the midpoint where they're like okay designers a little bit of a twist you have to put a headband into your look oh my god plus size headbands oh this is so difficult
Kathy just walks around with a box of props and she puts them on all of her staff. Okay, so today for your look, you have to wear a flower in your lapel. It shoots water.
So now we're in a car with Rachel, Kyle, and Erica. And Kyle's like, how was the race thing? Well, I was just going to say, I missed you guys the other night. Well, how was that? You know what? It was really nice. Like we talked about you not going, actually. There was like a picture. It was of this lady with really big shoulders.
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Chapter 3: How do the housewives react to the jewelry designs?
And I don't know. People kept talking about books. Someone dropped a purse. I don't know. Someone ate something called a Tums. I don't know.
I don't really believe in eating, but it happened. I don't know. Amanda said something about fishing in a stream or something like that. She says stream a lot.
Oh, yeah.
Someone looked hot. I can tell you that. Someone looked fucking hot.
someone there was like a rude moment like someone literally pulled the dress off of a woman it was crazy a little gay man got excited yeah well did you talk to her before or text her that you would tell me everything about what's going on and uh and they're like no it's like what about you erica did you text her she's like no i did not why not because i didn't want to and i didn't feel like it and that's how i do things but i'm dumb well can't argue with that
Well, she was sort of like, like, Eric and I are more than that. Like, I expect more than that. Oh, yeah. Well, I expect more than her calling me the fitness. Reserve that for Camille grandma. Oh, OK. Well, last week you were so proud of bringing this word to America.
So I know it is funny. Like, Erica really can dish it, but she can't take it. Like, I would think that that would not be the sticking point.
Because she has nothing else. I mean, that's the thing. And Kyle is so good at hammering things over and over until the audience is like, well, wait a minute. Dorit is an asshole. What has Dorit done? Can someone just... She's been late. I get that. I agree with that, that that's shitty. But in a court of law against a housewife, what has she done? She hasn't done anything to these people.
That's what's cracking me up about this. Normally, there's something that they can glom onto and come for somebody about. But when she even called you that, it was because you guys were coming for her at dinner. You guys were coming for her at every single event. What has she done? Just someone make me a list. Make it in the comments. I'll read it.
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Chapter 4: What conflicts arise between Dorit and Sutton?
Hashtag never forget.
so Dorit is saying to me the punishment doesn't fit the crime to me it's like the ultimate friend betrayal so now we're back at the Theo Grace party and people are there and like Rachel shows up and she's saying hi to Nikki she's like oh my god how was Europe did you see the ghost of me there because that's where I like to live I live there now I used to live there I lived in Tuscany and then I died there and now there's a ghost of me and this is just a simulation did you see me
Oh my God.
I'm so jealous. You look so gorgeous. I want to see the jewelry. I want to see everything. I'm so excited. All I've seen are like terrible golden bumblebees on squares going around. That's my jewelry. It's hot. It's really hot. It's great. You're amazing. You're so amazing.
Kathy goes up to her butler. She's like, hello, Carlos. He's like, my name is Francis, but that's okay. You look so handsome. He's like, yeah, but not like you. Well, how fabulous is this tie? Do you love it? And I got you a bow tie too. And do you want to put on Carol's headband? Okay, Carol, you're wearing the bow tie now. Carlos gets the headband.
You can tell when a hostess does what she's doing. And Kathy fucking Hilton throws the best fucking parties ever, the best lunches. She's got it. She's got it now. Erica's like carrying in Tupperware. Takes it home. So Kathy sees Revelino, her event coordinator. She's like, in the future, listen, I don't want every single flower arrangement the same. It looks like a charity event.
It is a charity event. You're throwing for your daughter so that she can pretend she's a jewelry designer. Yeah.
So Erica's like, nobody doesn't like Kathy Hilton. No one. They should all quit their non-jobs. Not even Kris Jenner.
So Jennifer walks in and says, oh, hello. They're like, would you like a drink? She says, is that alcohol? They say, no, it's matcha. And she goes, oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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Chapter 5: How does Kyle feel about her friendships this season?
Oh, my God. If you didn't want to go and you're so uninterested, why are you so obsessed? Just leave it, Kyle.
So unwavering dedication to observing people's bags when they walk in a room. Cause that's the first thing she looks at. What sort of bag did they have? Do I have it also in his mind better? She's obviously like, Oh, your lipstick matches your bag. It's like, yes. Cause you were staring at the bag, Kyle. We know what you were sizing it up. You want one as well. Yeah. So Amanda's like,
And I was thinking I wasn't going to go to Dorit's thing. But then I remembered, I'm Amanda Francis. I believe in women. My ethos is standing for women on top of mountains. You can do it. And I'm relying on poor people that you met on Robertson Boulevard. You're going to marry just to shut up because I love poor people and women. It's like, oh, my God.
Okay, Amanda. So more people are saying hi. And Kathy is like, oh, was that your bee? That's a cute little bee jewel that you have. She's like, no, no, you gave it to me. Oh, it's so pretty. It's from you. It's from Nikki's line. It's like, it's pretty, Nikki. Look, someone designed a really beautiful bee. It's mine, mother. I'm giving it to Carlos. Carlos, no more headband for you.
You get the bee now, mother.
Kathy, he's like, I look at every detail of a party to make sure it's perfect. This party is for jewelry that I haven't looked at. Did you catch me in a lie? You did not. Did you catch me in a honey trap?
Maybe. So Erica goes up on FaceTime and she FaceTimes John, the guy that she's been seeing. And he's like, hi, love. What are you doing? You look great. She's like, thank you. You want to meet my friend Kyle? He's like, not if he's a queer. No, no, Kyle, it's a girl. Oh, okay.
He's like, just call me when you're done. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
So Amanda, they say hi. And Erica's like, this is my friend, Amanda. I don't have to, I don't really, I just have to call her my friend because we're on camera. She's like, hi, we've heard so much about you. And this is, by the way, and this is Natalie. And I was like, okay, well, thanks, Natalie. Well, yeah, Natalie, that was a great contribution to the conversation you had there.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of the group dynamics at the party?
Natalie just popped a ping pong out. So that's Natalie. And this is Kyle. Kyle's like, oh, remember me? I did your astrology chart. It's the first time I ever did an astrology chart that just spit out a black and white flag.
Yeah, that's great. Can I get back to watching Megyn Kelly now?
Okay.
I'm jerking off to Nancy Grace over here.
Can you just call me when you get home? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
So then Amanda's like, is he officially your man friend? It's like, yeah, he's my official man. And then Kyle's like, um, that was a hard launch, everyone. Hard launch on fleek.
You can't say that Erica didn't do anything this season because she actually put a man on FaceTime on the very final episode.
And that man was so chuggy. so anybody who doesn't think that man's a brick house needs to step off the curb girlfriend oh my god i wonder if erica has him on her find my god that guy's got some riz am i right r-i-z-z-g-o-d am i right
Oh, so they're teasing her. They're like, oh my God, you're so in love. And she's like, I'm so, you know, I feel so safe when I'm with John. I sense that there's no pretending or trying. Every, you know, everything softens and I'm allowed to soften as well.
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Chapter 7: How do the housewives address their past grievances?
They're all seated and it's getting awkward.
and jennifer uh she announced that she won't be able to stay very long because she had another obligation yeah it's a louis vuitton thing i i thought i i thought it was another day but it's today so sorry sorry i'm leaving the bumblebee jewelry party to go to a louis vuitton thing but that's just how the cookie crumble all cookie crumb hold on my friend owns this house i'm sure it's safe
so then Dorit and Boze join the ladies and Dorit's like a weaker person would feel intimidated by this display of a lion's den I don't see lions I see cowards because by the way when they walked in she's like look at them a lion's den I'm not afraid I will be the lion slayer I'm not afraid of the lions I'm like no one is looking at Sutton and Kyle and being like look at those lions it's more like look at those
I don't know. Any other animal would actually dragons. So she goes over like a really lame animal, but it just sounds actually people would be like, how dare you call them a yak or something? I don't know.
You're calling women yaks now? Well, great. You're canceled. I'm canceling my subscription.
I was trying to be a gentle animal. I just love that it's great.
She's like, I don't see lions. I see cowards. But the lion was a coward. And there are sea lions. very confused, but I'm walking over anyway, because I'm a strong woman who's unbuttoned!
So she goes over, and I will say, you know, this is like the fourth or fifth time in a row that she's had to walk up to a table where she knows everybody hates her, and it's going to immediately start yelling at her. And she's like, alright, well... I'm earning that money, you know? You can think whatever you want about Dorit, but she's just like, all right, I'll go sit with these hookers.
Just let them yell at me for a while. Let's go. Here we go. Get me a drink.
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Chapter 8: What conclusions are drawn as the season ends?
Alright, good to see you guys.
See you later. So Kyle, I was like, Dorit, I heard your event was a success the other night. So as someone who's been in a successful movie franchise called Halloween, I can really appreciate that. I just want to say congratulations. So yeah. I hope it's great.
It's really great. Thank you. Thank you.
Good. I hope it's a big success. You know, I hope you can join me in the success seat. Yeah.
So Kathy comes over and she's got a little fan and I was like, Oh my God, I didn't know if that was like a fan or a phone. That's crazy. It's the same thing. I said, yeah, the Julie was Louise Dreyfuss. The first time I said, I saw her, I said, are you a fan or a phone?
It was so awkward when I lifted up her hair and tried to talk into her. It's a fan that looks like a phone.
I was like...
things are getting so here we go let's watch kyle not at all start a fight so later she can say why are you starting a fight with me so kyle goes three can i say something obviously you were hurt the other night at your event and upset okay yes very deeply deeply well even if things were great like it would have been a struggle because i would have really be i would really be killing myself to get there right now and i don't even think you're talking to me still so like we haven't even spoken she goes okay well you both made a choice
All three of you did, and that's fine. That's fine. Okay, well, it'll lead to, like, I was feeling hurt. Oh, my God, Kyle. Can the woman sit down? Like, she just came over, and you're immediately starting a fight. You're so annoying. We do this every single time. She's trying so hard, and she gets insta-aggressive, too.
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