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Watch What Crappens

#3402 Below Deck Med S11E01 Part One: Douche Battle

09 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What are the main changes in Below Deck Mediterranean Season 11?

0.031 - 20.098 Unknown

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

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21.817 - 33.307 Ronnie Karam

Well, hello, and welcome to What's What Crab? It's a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on your bravs. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hi. How are you?

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33.407 - 35.008 Ben Mandelker

So nice to see you again, Ronnie.

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35.269 - 38.091 Ronnie Karam

You too. Yesterday I was in here in the studio all alone.

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38.431 - 42.535 Ben Mandelker

I know. I was up in my childhood bedroom, but today I'm back in the big city.

42.655 - 49.701 Ronnie Karam

You're back in business. I'm back here. We're still in New York, so we're in the ACAST studios this week, or at least I am, Ben. We'll be back in the bedroom tomorrow.

49.741 - 51.823 Ben Mandelker

No, no. Tomorrow I'll be here with you as well. Well.

51.803 - 52.644 Ronnie Karam

There you go.

Chapter 2: How do Joe and Nathan's dynamics affect the crew?

52.664 - 74.048 Ronnie Karam

Thursday back in the bedroom. All right. Well, they can't see us anyway, mostly. If you do want to see us, though, you can get a video of all our recaps at Patreon dot com slash watch what happens. That's also where you get bonus episodes, a weekly blog of all these shows that I do just ragging on people in written form. And then also that's free, by the way. You can just sign up for that.

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74.028 - 91.655 Ronnie Karam

And also bonus episodes. We're going to cover Love Island today for that. And there's a Discord server to go hang out and all that good stuff. Today is Below Deck Mediterranean Season 11, Episode 1. The beginning of a new season of Below Deck Mediterranean.

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91.755 - 111.678 Ben Mandelker

What do you think? Wow. Well, it's always a hard pivot going from the blue uniforms to the red ones. You know what? For the first time ever on Below Deck... Well, I won't say ever because when sailing yacht was on, maybe I had the same reaction. But I'm like, this boat feels so cramped and small. I've gotten so used to blow deck down under and how big that boat was.

0

Chapter 3: What are the initial impressions of the new crew members?

111.739 - 128.514 Ben Mandelker

Like that galley was enormous. All their bedrooms had like all that space. And now every crew quarter space is so tight. They can't even get like shots. And you sort of see like a shoulder and like a head. And when they're trying to change side by side, they like can't fit. I'm like, oh, I'm actually feeling a bit claustrophobic on this season. What do you think?

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128.554 - 153.761 Ronnie Karam

It is tight. Well, a couple of hotties on this. I was like, how are they going to make up for bringing back both Nathan and Joe? Those douchebags. But then they sent two hotties from heaven. My goodness. A southern boy. And they're both really tall. Very tall. I'm sure there'll be total douchebags as well. This is below deck. Yep, yep, yep.

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Chapter 4: How does the crew react to the new chef, Joy?

154.442 - 163.395 Ben Mandelker

I mean, the one thing that may work in their favor is that Joe is such a big douchebag that he may take up all the douchebag air in the room that we just don't even notice how big of a douchebag those two are.

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163.855 - 169.003 Ronnie Karam

Yeah. I have missed Joe's whisper voice, though. I mean, I know it hasn't been long, but I love his...

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169.253 - 172.398 Unknown

But how could Nathan do this to me?

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172.838 - 175.943 Ronnie Karam

The eyebrows that whisper. The whispering eyebrows.

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176.644 - 185.977 Joy

I've been doing nothing but working on my career ever since the last season. And all I focus on is that. I just want to be the best. I want to be a captain someday. I'm like, oh, shush.

186.057 - 197.593 Ronnie Karam

You don't get an award for finally deciding to do your job for three weeks. What else? I've been working on myself since last season. The last season was five minutes ago. At home, tying knots in your sleep. Yeah, seriously.

198.134 - 199.996 Unknown

We're about two meters away.

200.196 - 201.877 Ronnie Karam

We're about two meters away.

Chapter 5: What challenges do the crew face during their first day?

201.897 - 203.118 Ronnie Karam

Joe, eat your cereal.

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203.739 - 208.303 Unknown

If I were a person, I would decide not on the left instead of the right.

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208.323 - 209.705 Ronnie Karam

He's just eating his cereal.

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209.725 - 216.591 Unknown

We're about one and a half meters away. We're about 1.25 meters away. That's what I would have thought of a choo-choo.

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217.592 - 221.355 Ben Mandelker

Wrong job. He's being an underminer. I was choo-chooing. It's the wrong job.

222.116 - 237.327 Ronnie Karam

So he's back. Yeah, but Captain Sandy, here we go. And, you know, Captain Jason, God bless his heart, he ran into one thing, I think, 10 years ago or something, and they showed a news clip of it, and we've never let that go. And then Captain Sandy ran into something today for the first time ever.

237.347 - 243.456 Ben Mandelker

It's because people were partying instead of taking naps. Couldn't hear. Couldn't hear what was going on in Boom Crash.

243.436 - 249.041 Ronnie Karam

Yeah, that's true. These people are above the noise ordinance. They're a little too loud in Dubrovnik.

Chapter 6: How does Nathan's past behavior impact his relationships this season?

249.361 - 271.661 Ronnie Karam

Yeah, last night was the Knicks game here in New York. And I'm staying in Times Square. And they had a screening in Bryant Park. So there was like thousands of people right down the street. Wow, you guys love your sports. Yeah, I was really upset about that game, I have to say. Really upset. They did not win. Oh, you would never know it from all the screaming and yelling.

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271.982 - 277.909 Ronnie Karam

Didn't sound like they were dying. I did take an Ambien, though, because I was like, I can't take any of that. I have to drown this out.

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278.489 - 283.455 Ben Mandelker

Well, maybe the next game we can have no distractions of any political figures at the game, and that would help a lot.

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284.477 - 292.807 Ronnie Karam

Why? Oh, you think Donald Trump made them lose? Sure. Why not? Wouldn't that make you win? I mean, I'm sure they all love their Trumpy over there.

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292.847 - 295.29 Ben Mandelker

The basketball players love their Trump.

Chapter 7: What are the crew's thoughts on the living and working conditions on the yacht?

295.33 - 309.211 Ronnie Karam

I don't know. I mean, I don't know how it works. I don't know. I just figure if you like sports, we're so different that you probably like different people politically than me, too. Like, I just don't understand how people get this upset over balls being thrown. They're like, go crazy, crazy.

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309.752 - 322.794 Ben Mandelker

Well, I think regardless of where they are on the political spectrum and who anyone votes for, I think it's a, I think it probably is a major distraction to have the president of the United States and the mayor to both at your game. Just like, let's just like focus on their famous.

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322.975 - 330.668 Ronnie Karam

They have people in the audience all the time. Look, the Madison Square Garden. It's always like Jack Nicholson with whoever, you know. Yeah. That's all I know.

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330.928 - 342.107 Ben Mandelker

I'm like, I just want a whole bunch of tame gays in the audience. Is that way the Knicks can just focus on winning and we can all sit there and be quiet and be like, wow, oh, that was a good shot. Okay. Sorry, I didn't want to get too loud.

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342.087 - 351.728 Ronnie Karam

I just had a really straight night because I did... The show I saw last night was Six on Broadway, which is good. It was all women being Henry VIII's wives or whatever, singing.

Chapter 8: What cliffhangers set up the next episode?

351.848 - 368.933 Ronnie Karam

But that was all a bunch of straight tourists and stuff. It wasn't like going to see Jellicle Ball or something. It was on the straighter end for Broadway. And then I went home and watched Love Island, which... There's nothing straighter than that. Licking each other's faces while the straight people were outside screaming. And I was like, is this Pride Month?

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368.953 - 376.65 Ronnie Karam

What have I done to myself on Pride Month? It's rough. It's a hard time. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just felt like, you know,

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377.035 - 396.644 Ben Mandelker

Do you think if Henry VIII realized that there was going to be a musical about his life a few hundred years later, that he would have maybe found a way to have two more wives? That way it could just be called Eight. And it would make more thematic sense because he is Henry VIII and there were eight wives. I feel like he didn't think that through. He could have found two more wives.

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396.844 - 401.591 Ronnie Karam

Oh, he doesn't want to compete with his own number. No? Yeah.

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402.993 - 403.093

Yeah.

404.39 - 420.932 Ronnie Karam

They didn't even put him in there. It was just all about the women, which I liked. Good. Take that, Henry VIII. Take that. You douche. So here we go. Below Deck Med, Season 11, Episode 1. King's crash landing. Ooh, get hit. Game of Thrones.

420.952 - 431.005 Ben Mandelker

Yes, Dubrovnik. So everyone is like, they're heading to Dubrovnik, and they're all recording little videos on their phones and be like, ooh.

430.985 - 434.251 Unknown

And everyone's excited.

434.371 - 447.574 Ben Mandelker

And it's like, oh, my God, here we go. It's like the opening number of a Broadway show itself. Like, we're coming, we're coming, we're coming to the big city. And of course, she went to Dubrovnik on TWA.

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