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Watch What Crappens

#3403 Below Deck Med S11E01 Part Two: Douche Battle

09 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 19.633 Unknown

Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

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21.108 - 47.905 Ben Mandelker

Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. So Sandy radios everybody for a captain's meeting. And she's like, hey, everyone, really happy you're here.

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48.205 - 49.647 Ben Mandelker

God, you guys look eager.

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50.487 - 57.78 Ronnie Karam

Also amazing that you all fit on this tiny, tiny love seat that we have in this salon. This boat is really small. Gosh.

60.085 - 80.555 Ben Mandelker

I look around and I look at all your energy. Look at you just sitting there. God, maintain that energy for the next charter and the charter after that, the charter after that, the charter after that. In 70 years, I want to look at you just sitting there smiling the exact same way. Oh, Sandy, I'm sorry, but we couldn't quite hear you. We could only see the soles of your feet. God, this chair.

84.799 - 93.547 Ben Mandelker

We got each other's back. That's how I roll. Now, we're going to dock. We're going to anchor. We're going to dry run. Then we're all going to get together. What are we going to do? Drop the anchor.

Chapter 2: What happens during the captain's meeting with the crew?

93.768 - 107.657 Ben Mandelker

Hug. We're going to hug. What are we going to do after we take a hug? Drop the anchor. We're going to take a nap. Okay. Then what? Drop the anchor. We're going to nap hug. That's where we take naps while we're hugging. When do we eat the branzino?

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107.677 - 128.583 Ronnie Karam

So they all cheer for this pep talk. Because they're going to do a dry run. And then Sandy's like, the last few charter seasons, we step on a boat. We don't know the boat. It's just a mess. And I want seven-star service from day one. So she has the grand idea that before people come on the boat, we're going to make sure people know what they're doing.

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128.643 - 142.138 Ronnie Karam

I'm like, why did it take like 12 years of this show for someone to finally have this idea? Instead of just like, oh, welcome to the boat. You've never been on a boat before? Okay, great. Well, the next charter starts in three minutes. So I don't know. Learn how to fold a napkin. They must have had a cancellation or something.

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142.118 - 160.901 Ben Mandelker

Cause this time is money. You're not just going to pay people to like go float around for nothing. Yeah. They must add a cancellation or something. So, um, she's like, this is a bigger boat than bravado. So we're going to set two anchors. Every time is more of a challenge for the deck crew. There's more work in parts. I trust Nathan. We got this.

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161.462 - 167.81 Ronnie Karam

Well, she also says the boat, the boat is called the Kira one. And she's like, Akira one's an older boat. So, you know, it's solid.

Chapter 3: How does Sandy plan to improve the crew's performance this season?

167.83 - 171.414 Ronnie Karam

It survived the test of time. I'm like, have you seen an old house?

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173.202 - 181.728 Ben Mandelker

I don't know. I think they're stronger than the new ones, you know? Like, look at airplanes. We're still riding airplanes from the 1950s and 60s because they hold up better.

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181.788 - 183.172 Unknown

The new ones are like, oh, whoops.

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183.453 - 186.081 Ben Mandelker

Like, they hit a bird and they explode.

187.445 - 207.535 Ronnie Karam

I don't know, but I also remember Parsifal, too. And that was an old boat. And that one required a bit of assistance. I don't know. Well, as an old boat. I'm defending the old boat. Okay, that's fair. These damn kids come in here with their mushroom hair. These damn boats. Well, that's true. When they did have a new boat, there was that one boat where the stabilizers went out.

207.595 - 212.102 Ronnie Karam

They had built in those stabilizers. That modern boat was a shitty boat. Remember?

212.182 - 218.699 Ben Mandelker

Yes. They couldn't keep the stable. What else was wrong with that boat? There was so much wrong with that boat. That was terrible.

Chapter 4: What challenges do the crew face while docking the boat?

220.081 - 222.544 Ben Mandelker

So now Joy is in the galley. That was the chef with the mirror glaze.

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222.684 - 234.799 Ronnie Karam

I wish I remembered what was my favorite boat. There's some boats I do. The mirror glaze boat, what was annoying about that one was that the galley had a hallway next to it.

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234.931 - 237.074 Ben Mandelker

With a window, like a bank window.

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237.234 - 239.137 Ronnie Karam

And for some reason that drove me nuts. Me too.

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239.157 - 242.823 Ben Mandelker

It made me crazy. Like the chef needs privacy.

242.843 - 251.395 Ronnie Karam

I think probably the best boat that they've had was the one that we just got off of on Down Under because that galley was so massive. Like they've never seen a galley as big as that.

251.455 - 257.344 Ben Mandelker

I don't really remember the boats that much unless they're very like I remember the modern boat and I remember the sailing boat.

257.324 - 269.836 Ronnie Karam

Surely you remember the one yacht that used to be a Japanese merchant boat or something like that. Remember, it was like every episode. Well, this boat used to be a Japanese fishing trawler, whatever.

270.016 - 273.004 Ben Mandelker

I remember hearing about it, but I don't remember what it looked like.

Chapter 5: How does the crew prepare for the guests' arrival?

319.393 - 332.187 Ronnie Karam

So again, she's saying, did you just say this part? I grew up in a New York City, in a wealthy neighborhood. I went to school with celebrity kids. Success stories all around. My parents were successful and I want to be more successful with them by running HR on a boat.

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332.388 - 339.461 Ben Mandelker

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's the American dream, isn't it? I was like, no, the American dream is like winning the lottery and not having to do shit and be rich anyway, right?

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339.962 - 350.982 Ronnie Karam

It's like, I don't remember this episode of the Gilded Age where someone, like one of the Vanderbilt kids were like, guess what, mummy? I will be running HR on a boat. I'll be overseeing conflicts amongst... Well, you never know.

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351.483 - 364.651 Ben Mandelker

Because there is some Gilded Age shit that was crazy. Like one guy invented... The alarm clock? I think he invented the alarm clock. He was like a butler. And they're like, a clock that makes noise? Stupid. And now look at him.

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366.395 - 376.828 Ronnie Karam

And that man's name was Reginald G. Alarm Clock. Reginald G. Snooze. His name was Dream Machine. Yeah.

377.329 - 401.938 Ben Mandelker

So now Joy's in the galley and she's like, let not cut my hands today. Let us not cut my hands today. I mean, I like that she sings. I would have preferred. You know, they removed that song from the live action Little Mermaid. Why? Why would you do that?

Chapter 6: What is the significance of the tablescape competition among the crew?

402.138 - 406.805 Ben Mandelker

I was so upset. It was a cute movie otherwise, but I was like, you removed the French chef?

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406.825 - 407.566 Unknown

That's the one that they removed?

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408.167 - 422.609 Ben Mandelker

Yeah. That was stupid. I was extremely offended. There was a lot of controversy over that movie that was just unfounded, uncalled for, and disgusting. But when I saw it, I was like, why isn't this a controversy? That should have been. This is why people should be pissed.

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422.95 - 424.592 Ronnie Karam

Exactly. Well...

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424.572 - 449.044 Ronnie Karam

um so nathan is uh he's he's agitated he's like primary on the teak and on the teak and it seems like hey don't yell you're gonna learn your rhythm because you know what you know what's gonna get you the rhythm it always happens so that's what today is for okay anchors and rhythm anybody you know what happened gloria stefan no you know why the rhythm got her it got her it came for in the night but you know what though she never yelled

449.024 - 474.471 Ronnie Karam

she never yelled okay um so now the stews and cooper are in the crew mess and cooper's like oh my god i would love some steak i'm cramping real bad and so uh they're like yeah wow like i saw you do all that today but you're really flexible it's like i can do a split like really so he does a split and they're all shocked Ani was delighted for the rest of the night.

474.631 - 497.426 Ben Mandelker

A lot of people doing splits. There's that girl on Love Island who that's her thing. She's like, I do a split. Like, when you really work your groin every day in the morning, like, our groin is attached to us, you guys. And it's, like, so attached to us. And then they just show her do the splits and then rub her groin all over the ground, like, rhythmically while everybody... Gets haired.

497.707 - 499.249 Ben Mandelker

Sorry, guys. Gorgeous water.

499.509 - 506.54 Ronnie Karam

Ronnie is pouring me a delicious glass of Saratoga water. They're not even a sponsor, but they're sponsoring my day.

Chapter 7: How do the guests react to the first dinner service?

540.327 - 563.642 Ben Mandelker

And she's like, oh, my God, look at you, so organized. Someone made you decide to be a chef. And she's like, I was in Miami working as bartender. I met a gentleman. We fell in love. And he said, you should be private chef. And that was the beginning of the story. Oh, my God, what happened to him? He made mistakes. I didn't forgive. I cook him. I cook the man.

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566.558 - 590.254 Ronnie Karam

he's gone i love her she's like he made mistake i didn't forgive you did well because you know he was like you should be a private chef so that way she would go to culinary school and that way he could bang someone else so joy is yeah is that a thing it's a lot of work yeah most of the guys on this show don't put that much effort in they just bang somebody else

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590.453 - 615.381 Ronnie Karam

So Joy is like, right now I'm focused on my career. I need to have someone that supports me and bring me peace, not someone that can put his kiki somewhere else. Okay. So then Asia's like, great day, everyone go to sleep. And Sandy's like, okay, deckhands, get ready to dock the boat. This is the big practice and we're not going to mess up whatsoever. Try run. Try run. Try run.

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615.479 - 627.496 Ben Mandelker

So, Genevieve, Kat, and Kaylee are in the crew mess. And Genevieve's like, oh, my God, who's on lights with me for the deck team? It's going to be Luke. She's like, love that. Oh, my God, that's going to be so funny. He's so tall. He's so sexy.

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Chapter 8: What drama unfolds between Genevieve and Kaylee?

627.516 - 629.098 Ben Mandelker

He's older. I like older men.

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630.22 - 648.728 Ronnie Karam

And then Kaylee's like, I reckon Cooper is the guy that you take home to mom. He just seems so innocent. And Joe, he just seems like trouble. Like, he's like fucking trouble. Am I right? Did you hear the one about the energizer bunny? It's in the battery commercials. Yeah. So then outside, they're coming in to dock, but there's these two party boats, and they're making so much noise.

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648.988 - 650.872 Ronnie Karam

I mean, you've never heard the Macarena this loud.

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651.473 - 661.49 Ben Mandelker

Yeah, they are partying on these boats. And Nathan's like, Captain Sandy, what's that noise? The fuck do you think it is? She's like, oh, you're talking about wind?

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661.51 - 664.656 Ronnie Karam

New season just started. Look out the window. I know.

665.108 - 670.296 Ben Mandelker

It's like, oh, we're going next to the party boats. They are definitely breaking the noise ordinance. Wait a second.

670.316 - 676.806 Ronnie Karam

They're singing a song about a concept I never even heard. We can do that? Electric slides. Okay, we're getting that on our boat.

676.826 - 696.999 Ben Mandelker

What, is Hannah back having a drug den party over there? By the way, did you see Hannah in the preview? Yeah. Oh, these kids in the new fine gold boats. I didn't know she was back on here. She's back. She's back. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.

698.881 - 712.114 Ronnie Karam

So they're trying to dock this boat, but no one can hear anything over the sound of Love Shack. So she's like, what was that? Do I need to pull back? Do I need to pull forward? Which way do I go? Am I doing the Macarena or am I parking the boat? What am I supposed to do?

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