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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
Crap!
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.
So Sandy's like, hey guys, whoa, Joel Cooper. Guess what? Teamwork makes the dream work. Well, yeah. Moonwalk, moonwalk, doing the moonwalk. Can you tell?
Chapter 2: What happens when Johnny Damon returns to Below Deck Med?
Does it look like I'm really on the moon? God, I really love that dance.
So Kaylee has a great strategy.
I'm doing the robot now. I'm doing the robot.
Pardon me, Captain Sandy.
I just need to go into this room and talk to Jen. Um, so Kaylee has a great strategy for, um, thawing out the frostiness between her and Jen, mainly from Jen's side. So she goes up to Jen and says, I was just gonna say, I just, you know, I know we were kind of both running for the second stew and I just didn't want there to be any bad blood or anything like that. And Jen's like,
rage blinking she is and she's also she's also rolling silver which anybody who's ever waited tables knows like you do not want to fuck with me while i'm rolling silver and you can see every like bit of anger as she like tucks the napkins over the silver and tucks this she's like well um you know i've been doing this for a long time and there's so much skill that goes into being second stew and i don't want the team to like feel over won't roll roll roll
silver napkin but most tightly wound pieces of silverware they're all just gonna be knives when it comes out they'll just be flattened and smushed into knife shapes yeah no one can open it oh god this is some tight silver She's like, yeah, I totally understand that. And obviously there'll be a lot of learning from me and I might come to you for advice.
I'm sure that's just what Jen wants to hear. Oh, good. I'm so glad I got to be third Stu so I could be the first Stu for training the second Stu. Love it. Yeah. Yeah, I love that.
And she goes, it's all good.
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Chapter 3: How does Kaylee navigate her relationship with Jen?
I'm just going to lift it. And Jenna's complaining to Kat. Poor Kat gets everything. She's like, I'm 22 years old. I'm getting too old for this shit.
Wow. Yes. Right at the age of 22. Meanwhile, Daisy is like 36, 37. You've got a ways to go, okay, ma'am? Yeah.
Daisy just threw a martini at the TV screen. So the guests are coming, and one of the couples is arguing already. We find out later it's this Joseph guy who's just such a douche. And Johnny is like, oh, God, are we the only sane ones here? Jesus. She's like, seems like it. Great invites, Johnny. Fuck.
Yeah, so Joseph is telling Addie, he's like, Addie, get the fuck away from me. She's like, love that. She goes, yeah, I love it too, asshole. She goes, damn, why did I do this to myself? I'm like, wow, okay. Great couple. All they're doing is taking their shoes off and putting them in the box. They haven't even walked up the passerelle yet, and they're already this angry with each other.
They hate each other, and the staff all notice. Nathan's like, this will be awkward. Did you notice that?
And Asher's like, shall I take you on a tour? All right. Do you want to stop pulling his hair? All right. Let's take a tour. So Cooper's like, oh, he's not going to be in the jet skis, though. I can tell you that because he's going to be too hammered. Look at that guy. I mean, what do you mean I can't get on the jet skis without drinking? I've been drinking since I was eight.
And that is actually what winds up happening. Good call. So then.
uh so they're on the tour and addy is like um you know she she's gonna share she's not gonna sleep with joseph tonight she's gonna share with another woman and then joseph is complaining to johnny and he's like i pay for her apartment but she doesn't want to be seen with me like she's obviously not that smart i'm like actually she has standards i don't think anyone would want to be seen with you sir
Yeah.
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Chapter 4: What tensions arise between the guests onboard?
What's happening? And we go back to him and he's like, I'm worth $500 million. I have jets. I'm a pretty good looking guy. Girl, you are so rich that you've been told you're good looking by so many people. They're lying to you. They are lying to you. God, you are not. There's not enough money in the world.
Do we know who this person is yet? Has the internet started to shame him yet?
Chapter 5: How does Joseph's behavior impact the crew dynamics?
Do we know Joseph? Joseph Below?
I was like, Rodney Dangerfield has come back.
He's come back to play this role. This guy. Okay. So here he is. I know it is Ronnie Dangerfield. Who is Joseph and his amazing technicolor gruel coat? So he is Joseph Rettman. God, you know what these articles these days, not to sound like someone who's not up with the times, but the fact that you have to sit through so many paragraphs of SEO intro before we actually get to it.
His name is Joseph Rettman. He claims to be worth $500 million. As the president of NEI General Contracting, they focus on premier affordable housing and claim they are not just about building quality, but building quality. You cannot tell me that this man is going to build any sort of quality affordable housing. There's just no way in the world. I mean, this is a slumlord.
Oh, my God. That is definitely a slum ward.
And she's also the grandson of the city of Boston road and sidewalk contractor and the son of a general contractor. And Joseph's path to construction success was quite literally sandstone from an early age. Or concrete. He was the son of general contractors and he
a nepo baby construction nepo baby i feel like i've seen that before somewhere in our society and culture and haven't always loved how it turned out but you know what hey it's gonna make for an interesting episode well seems like a great guy it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial so shayla's like she just wants you to be nice to her and he's like she told me to stay away from around the ball bro she can go fuck herself
Great. Classy. So then the deckhands are putting out toys and Luke is fixing Jen's radio earpiece and everything. People are just doing things around. And Michelle's like, wow. So we were told there was drama before you even took off. I was like, oh, really? What happened? Well, you know, Joe, he was being obnoxious at the restaurant before we even came here and she was getting annoyed.
And when we were walking on the boat, she didn't even want to walk with him. Like, can you even imagine? Can you even?
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Chapter 6: What strategies do the crew use to manage difficult guests?
She's like, no, get me the fuck off this boat. Are you sure? I'm not hungry. Please. So Kaylee is telling Joy what's going on. And Joy's like, oh, she's giving him ultimatum. I'd be the same. Fuck off, man. So Sandy's. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Yes, no, I agree. So Sandy's like, okay, everyone drop the anchor, drop the anchor. Okay, great. Okay, all the toys out, more toys out. We've just got nothing but a mile of toys behind us. We've been leaving them off every single wave. Just another toy goes out. Thank you, everyone.
Hey, guys, I wanted to say good news. This is the first docking we've done where we haven't crashed into something this season. So good job, everybody. We're in the middle of the water. You know what? Don't jinx it. Let's just take the win, Nathan. OK, take the W, buddy.
So Eddie is getting off this boat. And one of the guests is like, oh my gosh, he's getting off the boat. And Joe's like, okay, well, let it go. I'm not dealing with that fuck crap. Sandy's like, hey, Johnny, Johnny Damon, is everything okay? He's like, yeah. Because you know, someone's leaving. He's like, yeah. You know, not everyone has what Michelle and I have. Is that your takeaway?
That's your takeaway right now. Your friend's a prick, okay? You enabling fucking asshole. Your takeaway is not like, oh shit, like I brought someone on board that made someone feel so uncomfortable that they have to leave. Let me get to the bottom of this or let me try to fix this situation or let me try to make Addie feel better or give Joseph a talking to.
It's just like, yeah, Michelle and I are pretty awesome, right? Thanks. Thanks, Andy, for the reminder.
So now they all go to have lunch, and they're still trying to get this girl off the boat. And Joseph is like, is she gone yet? Can we expedite it? Gone.
And Asha's like, we're doing it as quickly as possible, you waterlogged fuck.
So she's like, God, that guy's really a douche.
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Chapter 7: How does Captain Sandy handle conflicts on the yacht?
And Sandy is impressed that Cooper got some water toys in there by himself. She's like, how'd you do that? He's like, I got a good daddy, Captain.
I got a good daddy. His name is Nathan.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Joseph is still grousing, affordable grousing. He's like, you know, I pay $12,500 a month and she's gone. It's over. She's back on her own. Good luck to her. And Joy is, meanwhile, serving like avocado shrimp and everything and lamb and all this nice stuff. And Joseph is like, you know, I actually liked her, man. I really liked her.
I'm a tortured individual, but I actually liked her. Yeah. Oh, I could tell. You know, I could definitely tell how much you liked her just by everything you said. Your romance, your kind words, your gestures. It's a real shame.
Yeah, you're just such a good guy underneath it all. You know who else was tortured? Jigsaw.
okay he was tortured as well shut up joseph i hate this attitude like i bought her i give her all this money it doesn't you don't buy people that's crazy you can't talk to people however you want just because you gave them some money you fucking loser so they're gonna get uh this girl to shore and uh someone's like i feel bad for both of you he's like don't feel bad for me i don't give a shit i'm officially single hop on people
Yeah. So Kaylee is talking to Kat and she's like, so you want to go through all this stuff that's not so we can go and like know how we're going to like decorate the table and stuff, you know, things like that anyway. Um, and Sandy is just checking in on lunch. Like, Hey everyone, how's lunch? Uh, How's everything going here now that you're one person down? I'm sorry that Jen left us.
He's like, oh, what? Am I in trouble yet? Like the captain's here. What's going on? My problem? He's like, no, no. Just checking on lunch. I honestly just want to see how big of a douchebag you are with my own eyes. Everyone's been talking about it. So now I see.
Sorry, Tootsie. Not my type. So then Kat and Jen are sorting table decor out. And Kat's putting on a gladiator helmet. And Jen goes, yeah, that's too big for your little head. She's like, okay, well, need a multitask. Yeah, like, put in more laundry. I need to think of a little note to, like, put in laundry. Like, I just want to get my mind off this stupid second stew debacle.
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Chapter 8: What are the consequences of Joseph's actions during the charter?
Luke, you either like me or you're a Percy.
Damn it. Get out of my head.
So Kat's like, well, I'm glad Jen found some sort of positive outlet. I don't care if she writes a poem on this post-it or note or confess her love to Luke or whatever. At this point, I'm just happy that she's just, like, I'm just hoping it stays like this. Like, just distract her.
So now the guys are trying to get on jet skis. And Joe's like, have you been drinking, Joseph? And he's like, I had one cocktail. Well, that's the one in your hand, then? He's like, yeah, that's it. And Joel's like, oh, God, fuck, I'll do it. Meanwhile, Nathan's radioing Aisha. He's like, has the guy getting on the jet ski had a lot to drink? And Sandy's listening to all of this.
And Aisha says, he's had like six. So Nathan tells him, yeah, you've got to get off the jet ski, man. You've had more than half a cocktail. He's like, you want me to get off the jet ski, you little prick? He's like, you can't be drunk driving the jet ski.
I say, go to a protected cove where there's no one else and put them on the jet ski and aim them towards the rocks and see what happens. So Nathan is like, sorry about that, dude. He's like, oh yeah, he's going to be like my nemesis. Like, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong. He's like, you're wrong. Oh, tell me I'm wrong. Wait, did you say that? He's like, you're wrong.
I'm done with this fucking guy. I'm done with this fucking guy.
Do you think he should have said you're wrong in this moment? Or do you think he should have done what Captain Sandy later recommends? I know, I know. Come on, I'm just trying to do my job. But, you know, we'll have this ready for you later.
Well, I mean, he says he's going to be my nemesis. Tell me I'm wrong. And he says you're wrong, meaning like I'm not going to be your nemesis. So it's not what he's saying is really mean, but his attitude. Like Nathan looks like he's ready to kill him. And yeah, that's what this guy's looking for.
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