We Don't Have Time For This

So, Kids Shouldn’t Say Sorry?

10 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Updates! Get your updates! Gem has gone and DONE it, she’s won parenting, completed it, nailed it, slam dunk she’s done. Raffa can now lose. Or at...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : I'm Not The Preferred Parent

06 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is feeling a little left out of the love bubble.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bit Of An Update

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well, just zooming on into Tuesday without a helmet, what’s going ON with e-bikes, y’all? We’re divided (and a little excited). And, well, *some...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : She's Not "Big" She's Tall

30 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is really upset by comments on her kid's body.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Too Late To Ask

27 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You know when you get to a certain stage of life, you’re a grown adult and you really should know certain things? Like, what’s in mayonnaise or ho...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : A Bully? Already?

24 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know how to deal with her actual baby's bully.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shame At Home Mum

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Oh look, Revz is upholding more boundaries, good on her! Meanwhile Gem had a solid hang with a newly minted Mum of Three™️ and she has thoughts an...

☎️ Bestie Hotline Rewind : My MIL Butchered My Kids First Haircut

16 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week's caller needs to know how to recover from this gross overstep.Today's episode is sponsored by Cashrewards. Yay!https://www.cashrewards.com....

Pets? In This Economy?

13 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

First up how many chargers and cables do you own, like, collectively in your household? Is it a Christmas lights situation or what? Then, Revz got rec...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Boomer Mum Doesn't Get My Marriage

09 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller does not have time for her Mum's old school priorities.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pimples and Wrinkles and Fairies, Oh My.

06 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well. Instagram has spoken. “Hubby” and variations are cringe. Hot damn, we were oblivious?! But we’ve come this far, ya know? In other self-con...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Boomer Stole My Carspace

02 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is wondering if she should have spoken up. Subscribe to D&M:Apple Podcasts:https://apple.co/wedonthavetimeforthisSpotify:https://a...

I'm Trying to Care

27 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when you’re so far beyond the kid stage your mate is deep in and they come to you with a vent…and you simply…can’t… care? That’...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Kids Have Joined the Cult of Busy

23 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is questioning how many activities is too many.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Miss 37 Wants A $500 Bin

20 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ok, straight up, this gets loose. Gem is a bit sick, Revz was approaching shark week and is seriously angry at… someone? No one? Just bee in the bon...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Your Kid Is The Problem

16 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller wonders if she should bring up the real issue… again. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can I Protect You From Disappointment, Baby?

13 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

First up. The Purple Wiggle. Discuss (it’s ok, we’ll do it). Revz has thoughts. Gem is playing catch up. The DLs are sweating. We tease out this o...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Tits Are In My Shoes

09 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller needs a good bra or to go under the knife. Discuss.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Long Game

06 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Wow. So many hacks today. Hacking parenthood, holiday, life, hospitals, you name it. But first, Gem has beef with the Goliath aka Kmart. And rightly s...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : I Can't Be Happy For My Friend

02 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is struggling to have equal happiness for both friends.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Imagine Just Existing

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

CW: Disordered Eating. Hello gorgeous besties! It’s not even February and whinge FM is turned up to full volume. Gem does not have time for the fac...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : I'm The First To Have Kids.

26 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wonders if she should be offended or just pretend she doesn't have kids.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can You Take Your Own Advice?

23 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Who is Revz horny for? Some Swiss guy on instagram? Gem was skeptical at first until she found herself in a #MarcoVortex. We explain. Then Gem helps R...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Apparently My Friends Don't Like Me

19 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller needs some emotional support.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fights Over The Year Ahead

16 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back! Gem has (literally) been round the world and she’s back with stories and OPINIONS. Revz had a frenetic break. But now it’s time for ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Can I Have This Whoops Baby?

22 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller has found herself... in a situation.Content Warning: pregnancy/ termination/ vasectomy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informat...

The Oversharer’s Hangover

19 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you an oversharer or a lurker (guess that’s called private?) today we talk about being “too much” in a social situation and how there are so...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Leave Me Alone In December

15 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller wonders why the other 11 months of the year aren't used for guilt like this month.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Solo Parenting and Single Parenting

12 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Gem's flying Hans Solo again and Raffa's prank really interrupted her out of hours zoom call. Revz did the school concert single and it made her reall...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My MIL Badgers Me For Kid Pics

08 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to hand off her needy MIL to her actual son.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hungy-P it's 100 Episodes!

05 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

WELL SHIT! we’ve been talking at you for 100 episodes. Over 2 million downloads. It’s a lot for all of us, DLs, especially those with no time. But...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Merry Judge-mas

01 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller wants to know how to tackle Christmas with kids who just wanna be kids and parents who want Hallmark moments.See omnystudio.com/listener...

The First Airbnb Guests Were... A Disaster

28 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

First up, a thank you and an apology re: our little show being in the Top 10 Australian Podcasts. So, all our real life mates have weighed in on last ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Colleagues Shame Me For Being A Mum

24 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller wants to call off her judgey work colleagues.Chemist Warehouse and Centrum Kids promotional content. If you experience any issue with th...

Are We At The 'Key Party' Stage of Life?

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ok do not mention the f*kn elf. Do not! That’s all on that right now because Revz “snuck” “off” (went) to an appointment without Gem and she...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Besties Three Kids Are a Lot

17 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller "loves her besties three kids like they're her own"... or does she?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Accidental 000 Is Kinda Our Thing

14 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Revz is sick and it makes her give even fewer f*cks than usual so look out. Gem has had some major relief on the allergy front but Raff still made som...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Groundhog Day, The Dilemon of Life

10 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller needs to know how to get through the daily grind.VOTE FOR US!! The Listeners Choice Award has our name on it 😉https://australianpodca...

Triathlons, Growing Pains and an Absolute Fizzer of a Halloween

07 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Well guess who did a surprise drop in your honour DLs? Old Gem Schmem on the Americano case and she’s reporting in. Then Revz is an athlete now, not...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Daycare is High Maintenance

03 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller wants to know if moving daycares is worse than dealing with the pass-agg educator of her son.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inf...

Got D&M Fomo?

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Gem is up to her eye balls in wallpaper glue and Revz is almost certifiably dead post-triathalon, so we don’t have any chat in us this week BUT we t...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Sorry, I Want A Career

27 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know how to banish that mum guilt when it's all on her shoulders but she loves to work.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy...

Perfect Hair & SIL Texts

24 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Gem is a bit annoyed at a particular trending audio cos she thinks it’s cutting our poddy grass. Revz gives Gem some shade for her Shakespearean arc...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : I Hate My Son's Nickname

20 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller is wondering if she can control her son's rebrand.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sex In The Carpark, Not A Vibe.

17 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

So Revz’s current “superpower” is making Memojis, so Gem is up for a special kind of ✨soft launch✨. Then we are all processing that Gem migh...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Husband Doesn’t Care About IVF

13 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller wonders if she can make her husband give a F about her IVF devastation.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

That's An Expensive Full Moon

10 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ok so, Revz has a friend, and we hope you all have one like this. She calls her Crazy Lisa and she’s really lived up to her title this week, strap y...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Fake It Til You Make It

06 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This weeks caller wants to know how to deal with her imposter syndrome.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She Caught The Groom Breastfeeding

03 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Well. We have a lot to discuss starting with a follow up to a Bestie Hotline a few weeks ago about a shitty, trauma dumping nanny. Spoiler alert: she ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Daughter’s Dad is MIA

29 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller is wondering if she should bother trying to get her baby daddy to be in their kid’s life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy infor...

Son, This Is A Period

26 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Fun new dinner party game Revz has invented; what country are you? She thinks she’s Iceland (looks great on Insta but ALOT of shit to sort out, ya k...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Dealing with Mini Mean Girls

22 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week's caller wants to know if she should get involved with her baby's bully.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The New “Talk” We Have to Prepare For With Our Kids

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Firstly, smooth or crunchy, what’s your peanut butter style? Cos it says a lot about who you are. And as far as style goes. permanent jewellery… a...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : I Don't Want To Bang My Husband

15 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller isn't feeling it and is wondering if she has to or how she can.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So What, I Need A Mullet Now?

12 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hello all you gorgeous people, it’s Tuesday and so we’re at it again, talking each other’s ears off about life, love and female mullets. That’...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Nanny Is Trauma Dumping on Me

08 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller....isn't calling..... she's with us! And she wants to know how to detach from a problematic Nanny.See omnystudio.com/listener for privac...

Renovating, Co-Parenting & Dating, oh my!

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Well, Revz algorithm thinks she likes roller skating content, that’s weird and wait.. Gem’s too? How weird is the internet. Speaking of weird; the...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Does Size Actually Matter?

01 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s caller is wondering why her size varies so dramatically between stores. Is it capitalism, mysogyny or chy-na?See omnystudio.com/listener for...

The Good Mum Out Here Dropping Truth Bombs

29 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Um, what WHAT?!? It’s a bloody special day because back by popular demand, THE GOOD MUM is here! She was gonna just listen but what a lol that idea ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : What If I Don't Want Kids?

25 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know how you know you actually want to be a mum and if she has to make that decision NOW.See omnystudio.com/listener for priva...

What Are Other People Doing With Their Money?

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

First up, Revzy is blushing, what’s that all about? And then, quick update on the #candlebaby clan, we have some new additions to the family and we...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Don't Tell Me My Kid Needs A Sibling

18 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This weeks caller would like to know why everyone insists her kid needs a sibling.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Day In The Life of a F*cked Off Mum

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ok so, there’s a new mani-style in town that Gem is all about, Revz is as suss as she is on skinny jeans and balayage but she’s open, SHE&...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : They're Name Calling My Toddler

11 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This weeks caller wants her fam and friends to quit calling her kid a particular name.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Excuse Me? Is Everyone Squirting?

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

OK besties, get ready because this weeks ep is loose! First up, to kick us off Gem needs more information on how to use body oil, but spoiler alert!.....

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Sister In Law is Stealing My Life

04 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know what she can do about her Sister in Law’s flagrant plagiarism.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nothing Prepares You For Marriage Post-Children

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

**Ok - something weird happens with the sound at the 29 minute mark** WE’RE SORRY - we have tried to fix it. Now, first up, Boomers and technolo...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : The Mum Friend I Don't Want

28 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s caller has a kid who’s made a bestie, but the Mum… not so chill. How do you breakup with someone you just made friends with?See omnystud...

I Can’t Be Everything to Everyone

25 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week Gem’s technology has turned on her, but it’s ok because she’s now a teenager #worthit. Then ear candles have the internet divided, but...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : I Can't Get It Up For My Wedding

21 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This weeks caller knows she should be excited about her wedding but with a toddler and the state of the world, she can't seem to find the f*cks to giv...

When You Realise Your Kid Is Lost

19 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

First up, Revz is musing on a weird thing all our Mums did that she’s glad we don’t really do anymore. Then Gem is still recovering from the time ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : The Great Contraception Debate

14 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know what we're all doing in terms of contraception and if it's her husbands goddamn turn.See omnystudio.com/listener for priv...

I Miss Missing My Husband

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Gem is looking snatched, like it looks like she’s actually slept and we all know she hasn’t. And she’s off on holidays, and has a lot of feels a...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Do I Tell My Bestie Her Fiance Is A Dick?

07 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Todays caller is wondering whether it's her business to rock her besties' world about her dirtbag fiance's trash talk.See omnystudio.com/listener for ...

How Much Would You Pay For A Full Night’s Sleep?

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

First up, #candlebaby - let’s make it happen. Happy sex renaissance to all of you who snagged a sex candle, we’re so happy to be your aphrodisiac!...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Bestie Hotline : My MIL Butchered My Kids First Haircut

30 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week's caller needs to know how to recover from this gross overstep.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hear Me Out: A Wife Commune

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do Blondes have more fun? Or is Bronde where it’s at? Revz is making changes. And Gem is frothing on a TV show she feels she’s manifested in and t...

I Identify As A Flower

20 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Gem is annoyed at traffic etiquette, but it's not what you might think. And Revz has FINALLY jumped on the Tay Tay and Billie train and Gem is eye-rol...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : How Much Pocket Money Is Too Much Pocket Money

16 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know if pocket money is for chorse or just cos and HOW MUCH? #inflationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Would Menstrual Leave Get Competitive, Though?

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Whinge alert: in case you missed it, lol, Gem’s Hubs is away and she has realised she’s actually the shit domestic partner and that he does EVERYT...

Mum-Shamed For Maccas Drive Thru

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you make handmade bliss balls and sushi for your kids bento box? Or are you like us and keep it simple and retro with a Vegemite sandwich and some ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : The Trouble With Gentle Parenting

02 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to be a gentle parent but mama has her limits.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ask Us Anything (2022 Cowgirl Edition)

30 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Step right up! Step right up! It's our annual AMA (and for those seriously asking, it stands for ASK ME ANYTHING). And we're covering all your questio...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Kid Will Not Brush His MF Teeth

26 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller has a morning and night routine: battle.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Body Love Dilemma

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

*CW: Disordered Eating*Revz is zapping off braid-able leg hair and Gem is in a winter wardrobe funk (oh, it's that time of year again). Yep, Gem is fe...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Husband Hates My Me Time

19 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller has found herself again and it's driving a wedge between her and her partner.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are Ultimatums Ever Worth It?

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ready for an all-out nerd-out over some words? (We're so cool). Gem thinks language needs a flowery glow up and then we have a bit of a fight over ano...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : So, What Now, I'm Single?

12 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is feeling stuck and anxious with the wild and unpredictable change that's happened to her life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy...

Babe, I Think My Vagina Is Beautiful!

09 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today it's "TIME FOR DINNNNNER!" as we discuss the most awkward lyrics to get stuck in your head (IYKYK). The kids have been dropping truth bombs abou...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : How Long Can I Live With My MIL?

05 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller is feeling the hover, and wondering when she can bail.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You Want A Trophy For That Braid, Mate?

02 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Birth-day round-up! (Birth-day round up!) there's two poddy baby bdays happening at the mo and Gem and Revz feel differently about the passing of time...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Kid F*cked Up His Face

28 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week's caller has a kid who's into "eyebrow art" just in time for school photos.You've got mail - Don't forget to sign up to our Bestie Bulletin ...

Holidays; A Novel Place to Feel Tired

25 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

So, Revz has arrived at the place where holidays are fun again (what WHAT?!) but don't feel too jealous, she's also arrived at Pokémon-land which is ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : How Do Other Mums Look So Put Together?

21 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's caller wants to know how other mums seem to always look so put together when her ankle biters won't let her pick up a hairbrush.See omnystudio...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : Um...Why Is This In My Show Bag?

14 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week's caller wants to know why her 2022 show bag is so... well... bullshit. #thankgodforbertiebeetleSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy info...

REWIND: Get A Fkn Vasectomy, Mate!

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Would it be Tuesday if there wasn’t period cups, mochas and chat about pulling out? (If you asked “of what?” you’ve got the wrong podcast). To...

REWIND: Talking shit, like, literally.

08 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You voted, we listened! Gem's household is down with the c bug, so we're dishing up one of our top, all time fav episodes like the warm cosy comfort f...

A $6 Public Meltdown

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Gem has claws, of the nail art variety and so is an expert, der. But what do you do about the shit (literally) that gets under the nail art? Eew. And ...

☎️ Bestie Hotline : My Wage Won't Cover Daycare

31 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week's caller wants to go back to work but her wage wont cover daycare. Is it worth it?-If you want to "phone" the Bestie Hotline, send us a voic...

Full Blown Phone Addict

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Well, we're back in iso (one of us anyway) so we are coming to you remote-record stye today from two different homes. One of which was almost burned d...