#359 - It’s Megging Season
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What’s the opening banter about Austin, godmother duties and a photo shoot?
It is Wednesday, my dudes.
Hello, Bedwetters, and welcome back to the We Mean Well podcast, hosted by Louise Adal-Din and Jack Archdale. Strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience.
Is she his godmother?
I don't abandon her.
I can't.
I didn't abandon him. I just don't want conjunctivitis before a fucking photo shoot. Yeah, but you love him regardless whether he's got conjunctivitis or not. I still love him.
Remember what we said about selflessness?
I love him. Why?
She's not ready.
I just don't want his grubby little mitts all over me.
Yeah, well, you're not ready to be a parent.
You're banned. You're banned from Austin for two weeks.
Wow.
Violet, he pooped in my house.
One mild illness and she already hates Austin.
I love Austin.
This is unbelievable. My nieces have pooped on me.
Yeah. Austin can poop on you all he wants. You've just got to get ready for it.
You've got to be ready for it.
We have a photo shoot on Monday. I don't want conductive items.
You know what it is, Vi? It's performative love.
Oh.
It's performative love. You're the godmother equivalent of a man that sits there and reads Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment in a cafe with a thin cigarette. But he's not actually reading it. He's actually taken the dust cover off, put it on. He's got the Russian copy and he's pretending to read it.
Yeah, correct. He's got his phone behind him.
But it's just porn.
Yeah.
Because he's actually a fucking pig. He's got, like, old images of, like, Victorian naked women.
Yeah.
Look at her breasts. Oh, she's showing her ankles. How daring. What a heathen. What a heathen. To hell with you. We've started, by the way. Hold on. For context, when did we start? A little while ago, about a minute ago. So they let us understand that Lou's a performative godmother?
I'm not a performative godmother. I look after Austin all the time and I love him so much. We have a photo shoot on Monday and Austin has conjunctivitis.
Fuck, what fucking photo shoot have we got?
In your diary?
Well, for who?
For Fordham.
Fuck this.
I can't wait to part your hair. I hate photo shoots, man. It's you and I together. It's just me, Lou, your buddy.
Are you scarred from the Triple M one? No, I just hate them. They're contrived. They are. It's just like they're just so awkward. They're performative. Explain it.
They're performative because they're going, all right, laugh, and you're going, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, it's good.
There's literally one of you with your arms crossed and your little fucking shit cowboy belt and you're like this.
Why are we doing it?
Because our photos are three years old.
Have you requested this?
No, I have not requested it. Max suggested it because I had puffy cortisol face.
So they're not doing the whole fleet. They're just doing us.
No, they're doing everyone.
Don't lie to me.
Swear they're doing everyone. It's not just us. If they're not doing everyone, I'm not doing it. It's not just us. There's other people as well.
You go and get your own fucking photos done if you think you look puffy. I don't need to be involved.
They're doing everyone.
Okay. I'm going to check. And if they're not, I've been lied to. I've been betrayed once again. I'll leave.
Good. Fuck off.
Yep.
Fuck off.
I'm going, Whipper 6.0, coming your way, bedwetters.
Cooper 4.0, One Piece 6.0.
Okay, yeah, fuck that. Yeah, so basically bedwetters, what's happened is our sweet little Austin, friend of the show.
Friend of the show. He calls up a lot. He calls up a lot.
Big bedwetter, literally. He's got a bit of conjunctivitis and Vi's come in this morning noticeably, I'd say, upset.
She's not. She doesn't give a fuck.
Look at her, tears streaming down her face right now. At the fact that Lulu, once Austin's biggest fan, once there was a mild illness, it was Lulu's disappearing into the shadows. I can't do this. And this is what, as parents, Lou, you need to understand, it is about altruism.
I learnt how to change his nappy yesterday.
It is about being selfless.
He put his pants in my house.
And, you know, you're just not there. I am. And you're a performative godmother.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What’s the opening banter about Austin, godmother duties and a photo shoot?
0:00–5:43
2
How did they react to Austin’s conjunctivitis and parenting responsibilities?
5:43–12:48
3
What happened during Violet’s Singapore story and friendship boundaries?
12:48–33:07
4
How did Josh describe moving into his house and handling renovations?
33:07–58:46
5
What is the Incognito Art Show reveal and why is the custom artwork important?
58:46–1:05:09