Jeremy Eparaima - Change is Possible
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Waterlad podcast presented to you by Betcha and here's a little sample of what's about to come in this episode. Change is Possible is a program that helps men take their first step towards change. Every day, men across New Zealand are meeting up to support each other and make real, lasting changes in their behavior. Here's a little sample of what's to come in this episode.
Fairly abusive upbringing. You know, I really lost a lot of connection with my mum because she would come and beat me and it was never just a whack. It was a beating. She'd have a weapon. You know, as five, six years old, I couldn't defend myself against that. So I just learned to curl up with my arm above my head to keep my head protected. A senior in my dorm, he started grooming me sexually and I was waking up feeling yuck. Unfortunately, nothing was done about it. Everything that I despised as a kid. started coming out in my own behaviour. Yeah, I was just verbal when I thought I was okay because I don't hit. And then the physical stuff came in. I can't take back or I can't change anything, but I've been given an opportunity to take a whole lot of shit that was dished to me as a kid and a whole lot of shit that I dished out as an adult and turn it into positives for other tāne and their whānau.
Well, lad, well, this episode is about the fact that it's never too late to change. And today's guest is proof of that. Men dealing with anger issues is a common problem in New Zealand. And if you're surrounded by anger growing up, it can be a tough cycle to break. It's also something not many people are willing to talk about and less willing to own their own behavior. So I'm super grateful to have today's guest on who has been through it all and having been through the Change is Possible program.
How did Jeremy’s childhood abuse shape his early behaviour?
He has come out with a new outlook on life, and I know he is ready to inspire many to do the same. He is also a very handy footy player and a man who is super keen to help others. It is my pleasure to introduce Jeremy to the show. Welcome, mate. Cheers. Thanks, Jimmy. Mate, thanks for coming on. Like I said, it's not a topic many people are keen to talk about, but I do know how beneficial it can be because it's, like I said, very common.
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's... I've sort of worked out that it's one of the most powerful tools is the actual sharing of your own personal experience. It's not... Not someone with a doctorate telling you about your behaviour and stuff like that. So, yeah, coming, I've walked in your shoes, mate, you know, sort of thing I think has a lot of impact.
Oh, massively. I hear it on here all the time, but when people are vulnerable and open up and share real stories, just how much that relates to listeners and how much feedback I get from those ones. Oh, yeah, cool. Where people are just honest and tell it how it is. And we're always surprised with how many people have been through similar situations.
Oh, heck, yeah. Yeah, for the last 15 years I've been telling a story, but it's my story, but it's not a unique story.
Yeah.
And it resonates with so many people. Yeah. And that's where the connection gets made.
Yeah. Let's get to that story. Okay. Like I always do on this podcast, I start from the start with the guests.
Right.
What was your upbringing like?
Yeah. So... A fairly abusive upbringing. Yeah. Once a stepfather came in to the picture. So my dad left when I was five. Oh, yeah. There was a little, there was stuff before that, you know. And again, I understand a lot of the stuff now. So I know that, you know, I, by five, six years old, I'm becoming desensitized and normalizing a lot of stuff. Yeah. My stepdad turned up, pretty cool dude to start off with. Yeah. But once he sort of moved in, things changed. And he went through the whole process of the cycle of violence. You know, he started yelling at my mum and stuff like that. And then, you know, to heading her and stuff like that. But he never, ever disciplined us kids. And once he moved in, he sort of, it was like he didn't want anything to do with us because we weren't his.
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