Pete Holmes: Gimme a donut...Really! | Whiskey Ginger
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What is the opening promo and show introduction about?
Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series presented by FanDuel. Hey, Whiskey Ginger fans, tonight, tonight, tonight, me and Bobby Lee are going to be at the YouTube Theater right here in Los Angeles, California. YouTube Theater. Come out and see the bad friends. Probably the only show we're going to do together this year. Tonight, the tickets are at andrewsantino.com, and so are June 28th. I'm in San Diego at The Sound. And July 24th, I'm at the Ameristar Casino in St. Charles, Missouri, basically St. Louis. St. Louis, come see me July 24th. San Diego, June 28th. And tonight, tonight, May 8th, the Bad Friends are going to be at the YouTube Theater right here in L.A. for the Netflix's The Joke Fest. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com.
In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Junior. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I really, really mean it today. It is the
return of Mr. Pete Holmes. It's good to be here. I'm sorry. I don't want to stop you from your riffs.
Well, don't, don't, don't. These
are great shoes. You talked about
mine. These are comfy bumpkins, and you've got great shoes. Thirteen and a half? These are thirteens. Yeah, I can always tell. You know, I can always pinpoint. But those home slippers, they do something. You know what they do? Tell me. They say, I'm successful enough that I don't need to wear regular shoes. These are sandlers. But I care enough. These
aren't sandals. These are
sandlers. I wear open-toe sandlers. Adam Sandlers. Because Sandler dresses like a beach hoe. Why doesn't he start a clothing line of the Sandler collection? I would wear a FUBU like
a...
We have
FUBU outside. If
Adam Sandler started a sweatpant company, it would be called FUBU. FUBU.
FUBU. Oh, you think you're better than your
FUBU? It doesn't matter how many fucking amazing dramatic
roles
you do. This
is you.
They're like,
how come the Uncut Gems designs aren't selling at all? And the, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, those are selling off the shelves. But think about that. Jim Carrey did it, too. He came out of a rhino's asshole, spoke out of his butthole.
How do Andrew and Pete introduce Pete’s new comedy special and children’s book?
Yes. And people remember that more than they remember Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by a
landslide. People don't know that's him. They think that's
his brother, Craig Carrey. Isn't that Kate Winslet and
Craig Carrey? Craig Carrey. Craigus. But wearing a slipper, this
is California chic. God, I love you so much, Pete. Every time I see you, I get... I'm like tall, lean Bobby Lee.
Mm-mm.
You're much better. Fatter. No, better. Fatter is
better these days. Fatter is better these days. Ozempic? Well,
and
also...
Ozempic made
it, so you see a skinny person, and you're like, who cares? Now I want muscles.
They didn't earn it.
Muscles,
that's what I mean. Well, I'm just kind of flopping around. ISP. The ISP, baby. What's
the ISP of this address?
Is
that
an internet
thing? I look to you. Yeah, now you see a skinny that didn't earn it, and I do kind of want to just... It's bullshit. I want to hit him with the ranch hose.
You were a fat boy, that's why. You were a little fat boy, so you go...
If you're the fattest boy in your class, you're the fat kid. Yeah, it
looks like
Pete ate a home. Oh, my God. You eating homes? More like gingerbread homes. Mean. They called me biter shaft. Sorry? We learned the parts of the penis. Two stories about this. One, they were like, it's the head.
Or in
England, the bellend.
Bellend. You're right,
bellend.
You know what? You're a fucking bellend. And by the way, they would think these are awful. And to me, they're perfect. No, mine's pretty close. They're perfect. Let me see. Oh, you fucking bellend. Oh, hello. You know what they call a jacket potato? A baked potato. Can you believe that? As if you... That's great. Well, you do bake it, don't you?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the opening promo and show introduction about?
0:00–2:20
2
How do Andrew and Pete introduce Pete’s new comedy special and children’s book?
2:20–15:25
3
How do they transition to talking about candy, popcorn, and snack culture?
15:25–28:17
4
What jokes and stories do they share about smells, butt, and house aromas?
28:17–42:48
5
Why does Pete consider unfollowing everyone on Instagram?
42:48–47:52
6
What is the story behind the Eddie Izzard and British‑style comedy discussion?
47:52–52:44
7
How do Pete and Andrew use mantras to cope with anxiety and psychedelic trips?
52:44–1:07:33
8
What are Pete’s new comedy special and children’s book, and how can listeners support them?
1:07:33–1:29:09
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino
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