Will and Rusty figure out why humans have two eyes instead of one, hear an extremely strange am I the a**hole story involving formaldehyde, and, of course, talk pirates. They also question the logic of paying for soup and whether or not they’re landlubbers. Finally, they wrap it all up with one of their favorite segments, sayings that don’t exist, and draft their top Greek myths. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod LISTEN TO ELEVATOR PITCH: https://open.spotify.com/show/2pRyB2jHaS1IxWeZ4LQXfm?si=7aEFgk_gQVa6W5MFFuP6-A HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 JOIN US IN DRINKING FIREBALL DURING OUR GAME DAYS THIS SEASON https://www.fireballwhisky.com/. MUST BE 21+. TRY EVERY MAN JACK TODAY https://www.everymanjack.com/discount/PLAYDATE FOR 25% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER. (00:00) Intro (03:24) Teach Me Something (12:37) Pirate Talk (18:23) PSA to Those Feeling Anxious… (24:30) Making Liam Pee his Pants (28:47) Hairy Guys (34:01) Soup (38:35) Willy Pretzels (42:34) I Don’t Buy Anything I Like (57:15) Roadmap (58:05) Two Truths and a Lie (01:01:35) Pitch Submissions (01:07:23) Pitches (01:18:19) AITA (01:27:33) This Guy Rocks (01:32:09) Sayings that Don’t Exist (01:35:00) Greek Myths that Don’t Exist (01:42:05) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the disturbing reason farts exist?
As always, this podcast is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer.
Redefining the party landscape.
Are we podcasting?
Yep.
Play date. Play date. Wait, what was I just about to ask you? Wait, fuck. I'm about to remember something. Okay. This is horrible for podcasting. This doesn't count. This doesn't count. Are you doing worst podcaster ever? No. Wait, wait, wait. I was just about to be like, oh, did you guys hear... Okay, whatever. Do you see Biden snap at that reporter? No. It's the funniest video of all time.
She goes... Fuck, what did she ask him? We gotta restart the podcast.
It's fine. Wait, I have something to announce, actually. You know how last week I was talking about that Cantina Crispy Chicken Taco? Yeah. So I was at work late last night, so I get home, I don't really have much food in the refrigerator, so I order Taco Bell.
i ordered the cantina crispy chicken it was such a disappointment yeah yeah i've been trying to say it's not good it was ass cheese you've had it uh yeah i've had it i had it after the halloween party when i had a few drinks yeah i was sober last night yeah i wanted to vomit nerd yeah yeah that's how taco bell works but but i got i always get the bean and cheese burritos a safe you know no but it's sometimes it's not good
I've gotten in the cheese is like grody. But I remember what the Biden thing was. She goes, President Biden, do you think you can cut a hostage deal before your term ends? And he looks at her and he goes, do you think you can get hit in the head with that camera behind you? He's just he's he's had it. He's on his. That's awesome. I hope he starts going crazy.
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Chapter 2: What are whipping boys and their history?
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with this... What the fuck is that? Sorry.
They're like... It's like al dente noodles. They're kind of hard, so it's not...
It does not look good. Oh, God. It looks like shit, honestly, Lauren. I'm sorry. It looks like dog shit. It looks like piss and shit. I wouldn't eat that. All right, go ahead. I was obsessed with this soup called Chickarina when I was a kid, which is not an appetizing name, but it was basically chicken noodle soup with chicken meatballs in it. And Progresso. What is it? Oh, Progresso is good.
Is that the brand?
Yeah.
Progresso. Progresso.
Progresso discontinued Chick Arena for like years. Or like my grocery store stopped carrying it. And then one day after, I'd like just gotten over it. Like I remember like telling my mom, like I would write it on the grocery list every week. Yeah. And she was just like, they don't have it, buddy. And then when I was like 16, it came back.
And there was a week where I like only ate Chikorina to like try and like make up for all the lost time. And turned into a meatball. I turned into a meatball. Chikorina sounds like something you would, like, contract. Yeah. You have type 2 chikorina. Oh. Speaking of discontinued groceries, oh, that looks fantastic. Yeah, it was delish. It's like the noodles are little lentils instead of...
It's like couscous kind.
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Chapter 3: Who was Blackbeard and what are his notable stories?
Chapter 4: What are the pros and cons of paying for soup?
Black. Have I told you this before? Definitely. But Blackbeard, Blackbeard was like the guy like he was like the LeBron of pirates, like very well known. He was kind of like widely considered like the goat of like the golden age of piracy, which was like the early 1700s.
So this is a real guy.
Blackbeard. Yeah. His name was Edward Teach.
No, no. This is Pirates of the Caribbean.
No, no. This is real. I swear to God, this is real. What? It's like the boy who cried wolf. Oh, yeah. We can't even like tell stories.
Someone commented and they're like, so this is just a podcast where friends lie to each other.
Blackbeard is a real guy. This was real. And basically, I think it was King George was like, we are so fucked. There are so many fucking pirates out there. I'm going to put an end to this. And he declared that if you were a pirate and you turned yourself in by like September 15th, I don't remember the date. Like I will let you keep all your booty.
You just have to promise that you like won't be a pirate anymore. Pretty great deal. Because a lot of these guys were like, it was inevitable they were going to get caught at some point. And so all these guys would go in and be like, yep, hand to God, I was a pirate, but I'm done. And they just retired with their riches, whatever. That's awesome. And Blackbeard was like, okay.
i need to make one like massive score before september 15th so that i can like go to king george or whoever it was and be like all right i'm done yeah and i can retire off all this wealth that i have and so they held uh this port in south carolina or north carolina like hostage basically and it was like anyone who came in the boys were just like it was like buford right yeah they were just like smoking it was like right off like okra coke island are you familiar with that no no
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Chapter 6: What are sayings that don’t exist?
Like made a plate? No, no, just a plate.
Like not even any food.
What a nightmare that must be to come home from the bars and there's a bear in your house.
Chapter 7: What are the top Greek myths discussed?
I feel like Rusty's definitely a bear, but I think I might be a twink.
What?
What does this mean?
Like in gay relationships, there's like a bear and a twink.
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, you're a hairy element.
You're definitely a bear. Yeah, I would agree with that. But I'm worried I might be a twink. Am I a twink?
Maybe.
I mean, I'm not worried, I guess.
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