Lost Yourself in Motherhood? How to Reclaim Who You Are Beyond Being Mum
episodePreviously titled “Can You Love Motherhood and Still Want More? Finding Yourself Beyond Being 'Just Mum'” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 18, 2026
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Who is Benita Bensch and what tension does this episode introduce about loving motherhood but wanting more?
Have you ever had one of those moments where you stop and wonder, who am I now? Not because you don't love your children, not because you regret becoming a mum, but because somewhere between the school lunches, work deadlines, childcare drop-offs, the endless mental load and caring for everyone else, you stop recognising yourself. Maybe you've looked in the mirror and thought, when did I become just mum? Or perhaps you felt guilty for wanting something that's just for you, a career, a creative outlet, a business, time alone, a hot coffee, or simply a space to hear your own thoughts again. If any of that resonates, then today's conversation is one that you don't want to miss. Welcome to this week's episode of the Working Mama podcast.
If you're new here, welcome. If you've listened to other episodes, welcome back. And today I'm joined by author, speaker and coach Benita Bench. And today we dive into one of the biggest but least talked about tensions of motherhood. Can you love being a mum and still want more? Benita shares her incredible and honest journey of raising four boys, yes, four boys, experiencing what she describes as the black hole of motherhood. She is incredibly vulnerable about her mental health struggles here, about navigating burnout, anxiety, identity loss, also being diagnosed HD and also autism, and how she has slowly found her way back to herself. This conversation isn't about having it all. It's about remembering that you matter too and how we can get ourselves out of that black hole.
So whether you're driving to work, folding another basket of washing, sitting in the school line pickup or finally enjoying five minutes to yourself with that cup of tea, I'm so glad you're here. Let's get into today's conversation with Benita. Welcome Benita to the Working Mama podcast. How's your day been so far? Hi, Karina.
Thank you very much for having me. My day so far has been pretty typical of my life, which is just a blend of lots of different things happening with children and house and farm and work and all those things. But Monday's off to a good start.
Oh, great to hear. So before we get into anything else, Benita, paint me a picture of what your life looks like now. I know that you've got a farm, a business, you've recently moved into a new home. What does it look like and how are you juggling it all?
My life, Karina, is a blend of farm business, my work and four children and the normal life things, community and all the extracurricular activities and farm activities. My days vary greatly depending on what's going on. So my schedule may look different from day to day, week to week and season to season, depending on what is happening around the farm. And I do... structure my busy periods in my business around the farm business so in terms of we're dry land farmers we're based 15 kilometers north of Moama just over the border past Echuca into New South Wales and as much as there's so many things I'd like to do it's like you're pulled back into reality at times that we are farmers we work with the seasons we work with the land and I'm raising these human beings who still need their mum and that takes priority a lot of the time and my work fits around that
I think it's amazing. I think it's, yeah, I'm sitting here as a city slicker thinking it sounds like such a fun life. What has then been your journey into motherhood, living more on the farm in those communities? How have you found that transition in raising kids as well and also finding that community to support you in motherhood?
When we had our babies, we were living... Well, from the time my eldest was 15 months old, we were living about an hour and a half from town. So you would classify where we were as regional slash remote. And we had a beautiful little community with a school 30 kilometres away and a local playgroup and an amazing little rural community. But our services where the doctor was and our groceries and things was 130km away. So And access to a child health nurse and hospitals and things.
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Chapters
3 chapters
1
Who is Benita Bensch and what tension does this episode introduce about loving motherhood but wanting more?
0:00–14:49
2
How did rural farm life and community shape Benita’s early motherhood experience?
14:49–40:04
3
What does 'invisible' feel like after becoming a mum and why does it happen?
40:04–45:06
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Working Mumma
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